View Full Version : Preview for an upcoming story (Preview 1)

08-14-2009, 03:50 AM
It's been a while since I wrote anything, and lately I have been messing with tons of ideas, and just recently got everything together for an epic story. The storyline makes sense, and I have the main plot and major events set in my mind. Unlike 'The Unknown' where I just made things up as I went along.

With no further ado, here is the preview to my untitled story:

Therred Koots was a strange man. But of course not amazingly strange; no, just strange. He was quiet, yet sometimes loud, completely miserable, yet sometimes completely happy, and brilliant, yet sometimes stupid, but, he was always kind.

He had never done anything bad or incriminating in his life. The worse thing he did was get drunk at a bar, then run throughout the nearby super market screaming that chocolate was in fact, a lie. He tries to forget that happened.

But, aside from that, he was as clean as Mr. Clean, which, coincidentally, was his nickname, due to the fact he kept everything tidy. He had married, had a child, got a great, well paying job, and had traveled to the Australian outback which had been a dream of his since he was 11. But all that had gone downhill one day... which was another day he tries to forget.

It was 8:59 on a stormy, Monday morning. Therred was lying in a small bed that once belonged to his son. His sheets lay on the ground, only a tiny piece hanging onto the edge, as if about to fall to its death. Therred was peacefully asleep, having a strange dream involving blinding lights and screams. A dream which was completely erased from his mind the second his alarm clock rang.

His eyes sprang open, then slowly closed again as Therred hoped for the noise to just stop. It didn't, and so he slowly rolled onto his side, and slammed his arm down onto the clock. He rubbed his eyes and checked the time, making sure that he woke up at the right time, as last week, the clock broke, and instead of waking him at 9:00, it woke him at 9:36. He hated that day.

Therred sat up, and looked around, as if mesmerized by the plain walls. Then he swung his legs over the side of the bed, and again, stopped. He was very tired. All he could remember was watching some movie about robots shooting people after they had been struck by lightning. Therred barely cared what that movie was, or why he had watched it. Then he stood up, and walked over to his closet, where he found and appropriate set of clothing for work, and put it on.

After his clothes were on he walked, (well, it was more of a wobble) over to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth, shaved his beard, and combed his hair just as he did every day.

Then he walked down his apartment's creaky stairs to the kitchen, where he opened his small fridge and searched for something for breakfast. Like most mornings there was next to nothing in it aside from some apples, milk, and a can of something he didn't remember buying. He frowned with disgust, and slammed the door. He was in an especially bad mood today, for some reason even himself couldn't understand.

After the fridge he went over to the cupboards and searched for some cereal. All that was there was his most hated cereal 'Pig Tails' which was quite an off-putting name for a brand of cereal. The cereal was almost tasteless, yet it was still an unhealthy breakfast. Therred was amazed that people even bought it, even though he had bought it. The creator must have been a complete idiot, or a genius. Creating a low cost cereal, and then selling it to hundreds of thousands of people, and making millions. Pure genius.

He poured the cereal into a small bowl that sat on a wooden table in the middle of the kitchen, then placed the box back into the cupboard. He walked back to the fridge and found the milk, which, luckily, hadn't expired. He poured the milk into the bowl, then placed the now empty carton onto the counter top, where it tipped over and spilled the couple droplets that where left.

Therred sat down on a chair and started to eat the tasteless cereal. He just knew today was going to be a bad day, and by gosh, he couldn't of been more correct.

Several minutes later, Therred was in his car, driving down the highway leading into Vancouver, where his job was. Therred was used car salesman, which he hated oh so much. He used to have a great job as a cop, but after the incident he quit.

The incident was a fight, a fight with his wife, who, he once loved, but after marrying her, he met her real personality; a selfish control-freak. The fight was not bad, oh no, Therred was happy they fought, he hated his wife, Joseline, and he was happy that their marriage finally ended. But after they divorced things went bad.

Joseline took legal custody of there son, Tea, who Therred loved so very much more than Joseline. With Joseline in command, Therred almost never saw his son, only to meet him on his birthday and times where both Joseline, and her quickly found husband, Harry, where on trips. Therred loved it when they did that.

Tea was the best son Therred could have asked for, he never cried when he was a baby, and he never did anything stupid. Tea was now 8, and he was the top of his class, both marks-wise and popularity-wise, or so Tea told his father when they talked on the phone.

As Therred drove down the highway, and listened to the radio, he started to think of his son, who he hadn't seen or talked to in a week. Therred wanted to his son back, and had been trying to find ways to see his son more often.

He watched as the small rain drops tapped the windshield, to be quickly swiped away by the windshield's wipers. Then he he heard the thunder booming overhead, and saw as lighting lit the sky. It was all quite depressing, and made his day even worse.

But then something started to happen. As he stared forward onto the road, his radio started switching stations, each time it would switch faster and faster. Therred quickly glanced at the radio, trying to see what was wrong. It kept switching so he started pressing the button to change the station, but it didn't work, and the switching resumed. He furiously pressed the button, trying to stop it, but it did nothing.

With the radio switching his gaze was averted from the road, not for long, but just long enough. As he started to bang the radio with his fists he noticed something ahead of him, a car. He quickly slammed on the brakes, and the car came to a screeching halt. Ahead of him a man stood outside of his car, looking at the sky above the city. Therred didn't care for what he was looking at, but rather why he had stopped in the middle of the road, Therred was not in the mood for it.

Therred opened his door and looked over the window, where he shouted at the man to move his car now, alone with several swear words. The man didn't move, and kept his gaze at the sky. Therred was starting to walk towards the man, when he noticed other people, all of them staring at the sky. Slowly, Therred's anger turned to question, and he turned to face what they where looking at.

At this point his heart skipped a beat, and he saw it.

Hope you liked it! Watch out for the second preview, coming soon!

08-14-2009, 06:28 AM
Excellent cliffhanger.

This story is going to be terrific.

08-14-2009, 07:11 PM
... It is ok, I will continue to read it :kz:

08-14-2009, 07:25 PM
I look forward to reading later! I have to go eat now...

08-15-2009, 02:09 AM
Excellent cliffhanger.

This story is going to be terrific.
Thanks! :D

And Moley takes a while to eat... wow! Six hours!

08-15-2009, 03:11 PM
Ooh, I like it!

Can't wait for the next part. ALTHOUGH, there are some gramatical mistakes.
And weird names.

But apart from that, awesome!

08-15-2009, 03:17 PM
Ooh, I like it!

Can't wait for the next part. ALTHOUGH, there are some gramatical mistakes.
And weird names.

But apart from that, awesome!
Yeah, I was noticing some mistakes, but I fixed the ones I saw, maybe you could tell me whats wrong?

And the names aren't weird D: They're awesome!

08-15-2009, 04:11 PM
After his clothes where on he walked,
Should be "were"

Then he walked down his apartments creaky stairs
Should be "apartment's"

Feeling to lazy to look for any more, but I think there was another where that should have been a were.

08-15-2009, 06:05 PM
Lol, me and my where's. I thought I finally learnt the difference! CURSE ME!

09-01-2009, 10:48 PM
and her quickly found husband, Harry, where on trips. Therred loved it when they did that.

There's the other w(h)ere.

Also, tutut, ard:

Feeling to lazy to look for any more,

Did my little grammar dictator miss off an "o"?

Anyway, a little more on topic - great read, though I do agree a bit on the names, though they fit OK.

I get the feel that this'll turn out a bit Cloverfield-y, and by golly I hope it does. Whatever happens, I'm sure it'll be AWESOME!

09-04-2009, 04:09 AM
I want to read more! Is it a nuke? The collecter? A spaceship? A rickroll?
I NEED to know!

09-04-2009, 01:50 PM
Did my little grammar dictator miss off an "o"?
Oh shut up.

09-04-2009, 02:04 PM
Oh shut up.

Ohhh, so the Grammar King finally slipped up :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Nice story BTW Cog.

09-05-2009, 12:04 AM
Wow. You must have written a whole buttloaf last night.



It is great. Still a few grammar and punctuation mistakes (Hardly any), but it is only the story that really counts in the end. I love it. :D