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View Full Version : The Mysterieus Stone of Egypt by wouties



wouties
01-14-2010, 04:56 PM
Hi everyone!

I've got LBP CE a few weeks and I've made a level. It's called the Mysterieus Stone of Egypt and you can find it when you search for wouties. It's my first level so it's not overwellming. But I hope you still like it :)

Here a some pictures (sorry for the bad quality, but I hope it give you a impression of my first level).

http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/6603/dsc01969p.jpg
http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/3882/dsc01968i.jpg
http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/6435/dsc01967j.jpg

Wouties.

Arrestor
01-14-2010, 07:41 PM
Hi Wouties!
I already know you from the highscore list of my own levels i think. Besides that we are kind of neighbours! (netherlands and germany, actually i live near to the netherlands)
So i will definitly play this one when i find the time!

Greetings!

Fastbro
01-14-2010, 08:18 PM
Just finished your level, overall I enjoyed it!

The story was nicely told. I liked the villian. And it had some great platforming moments! But their is still room for improvement. One thing is you need a few more checkpoints, it just felt lacking at some points. The final section of the level was a bit confusing, at first I didn't relise you could grab onto the ceiling and climb across. So I felt like giving up. Its a good section but make a little more obvious... Final point was if the rollercoaster was meant to break down? Because I was expecting an epic ride on the coaster and felt a little let down when it stopped.

You've got potential at making good levels so I gave you 4 stars!

Lleonard Pler
01-14-2010, 10:58 PM
You've got a special skill to develop a story, it was fun and kept me interested throughout the level. The villain was well portrayed.

Overall, it was a rather enjoyable level, with simple but effective puzzles and platforming bits. I didn't face any major problems, except for the first pyramid, some of the jumps where tricky because there wasn't much space.

The rollercoaster idea was good, but the machine worked in a weird way, and when it breaks it's not clear what you're supposed to do. Yes, later the man tells you to go on foot but maybe he should be moved to the point where the rollercoaster breaks.

The entrance to the red temple was really beautiful... but it didn't feel very egyptian, I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I thought it felt out of place... I also like using the grabbable ceilings so I found that one quickly, but it's true that some players can get lost there (I experienced that with my own levels).

4 stars and hearted to help you promote your first level. I'm looking forward to your next works!

SirPaper
01-14-2010, 11:56 PM
Oh wow, I forgot all about grabbing the ceiling at the end. I just did a running leap with the wench puller and final made it across. XD But yeah, good, enjoyable level. I kinda felt like the ending was a bit too rapid with the "The stone is here!" and was hoping for some closure on what happened with Abdokodi. (I wanted him to be at the stone and you'd have to get it away from him somehow.) But still, fun level, I gave it :star::star::star::star: :)

jeffcu28
01-15-2010, 01:25 AM
Hey wouties,


I already know you from the highscore list of my own levels i think.

Odd, you also have the highest score in my level...;)

I wish I could return the favor, but I'm afraid my gaming skills aren't up to par. It's a shame, because that level was just asking to have all its hidden areas raided for point bubbles.

Like others before me, I liked the story, especially because it successfully created a feeling of suspense. The environment was also beautifully well-crafted: the sand dunes and caves had the right curvature, and the hidden spaces were, well, a gem...

But what I loved most about your level was your innovative use of glass and stickers. That was pure and simple brilliance. I loved the effect it created with the birds and clouds, and I also liked how you used it for Abdokodi...why didn't I think of that?

However, I did come across some problems that others have already mentioned:


I didn't face any major problems, except for the first pyramid, some of the jumps where tricky because there wasn't much space.

There was one space that was particularly annoying, and that was the very first jump on the right wall. I felt extremely frustrated and helpless at my lack of control over the section...


The rollercoaster idea was good, but the machine worked in a weird way, and when it breaks it's not clear what you're supposed to do. Yes, later the man tells you to go on foot but maybe he should be moved to the point where the rollercoaster breaks.

I didn't like the rollercoaster...sorry. Had it been an amusement park level, yes, if it didn't work in a "weird way," then it would've been a brilliant idea. However, the main point of the level was to trek the Egyptian desert to find the mysterious stone...and the rollercoaster was blatantly out of place. I know your intentions though...having a vehicle is thrilling and adds variety to gameplay and pacing, but here, the rollercoaster just doesn't make any sense. Maybe a jeep suited for desert dunes may have been better direction...


I kinda felt like the ending was a bit too rapid with the "The stone is here!" and was hoping for some closure on what happened with Abdokodi. (I wanted him to be at the stone and you'd have to get it away from him somehow.)

I totally agree with SirPaper...the ending didn't meet my expectations of a confrontation with Abdokodi, and the mysterious rock was anything but mysterious. It looked like any ol' rock. I was expecting Abdokodi to grab it first, but the mysterious power turns him into a rock...hehe...

Other issues I encountered was that there was no music...or did I maybe miss its activation radius? I also struggled in the part where you had to fight Abdokodi's army. The enemies were tall, and accessing their brains were a hassle.

But please don't let these criticisms misrepresent how I felt about the level. I loved the variety of gameplay, the visuals, story, and characters, and it is impressive for a first level. It deserves every bit of 4:star:'s, so stand under their shininess, be proud, and get creatin' on your next level...I'll be sure to play it!

Throwing stones at Abdokodi,
jeffcu28

Taffey
01-15-2010, 03:19 AM
I just discovered that if I wait a little while before posting, everybody else will sum up my thoughts for me! ;) Just kidding.

Ok, so I just got done with this and it was a pleasant surprise. Perfect choice on the level icon, and even better it's one you surprisingly don't see too often. The layout of the level and your sense of visual style are most certainly your strong points. Your choices of materials and stickers are simplistic but great. You did excellent work with the corner editor and it's clear you spent a long time making things natural and non-blocky. Your story is entertaining and pretty well written, even if there isn't too much closure at the end of the level. (Personally, I can forgive that because I know what it's like to be halfway done with your level only to have your thermo tell you you're 98% done. Argh!) I want to make sure and point out that your placement of score bubbles is near perfect in my book. They are hidden fairly well in nice little groups that often make you work a just a little to get the multiplier. Based on your high score exploits on other community levels around here, it's clear that you're a gamer and that you enjoy that aspect of LBP. That has really played into your create abities, so keep up the good work there. Your platforming elements are simple but nicely varied. It just goes to show that you don't need to invent something entirely new for every single challenge - the oldie but goodie stuff works just fine when it's spread around like you did here.

I have a few gripes but none of them are really seriouis and most of them have already been mentioned anyway. The pyramid jump is annoying - widen the gaps and stagger the layers more. If the bottom platform is in the front, make the next one up in the back. #3 should be front and #4 should be back. This will make the climbing process much more fun all around. The desert vibe of your level is good but it suffers from silence, so pick one of the many good desert-themed tracks and spice up your level. As others have mentioned, the roller coaster is odd and doesn't really work. I couldn't even get it to go up the first hill, so I just ran into the caves on foot. I think you were mimicking the Prince Funubis concept of having an amusement park in the desert, but I like jeffcu28's idea of a jeep ride much better. Moving on, the sponge lift in the cave section can get stuck on the ledge above, forcing a restart (ask me how I know) - add an angle to the ledge to prevent this. I also feel that your sponge lifts are a little too fast - slowing them down 30% or so would make them fly around a lot less wildly. The army you need to fight is somewhat entertaining, but it gets old fast. The fact that they can't kill you is actually a good thing, but there are too many of them and they pile up on one another. When this happens, you can't jump up to collect the first brain, so you need to kind of wade through the crowd - slightly annoying.

Overall a great effort and an enjoyable play-through. 4 stars easily, and I can't wait to see your next level.

Lleonard Pler
01-15-2010, 10:14 AM
But what I loved most about your level was your innovative use of glass and stickers. That was pure and simple brilliance. I loved the effect it created with the birds and clouds, and I also liked how you used it for Abdokodi...why didn't I think of that?

I forgot to mention that! It was innovative: simple but effective.

Rogar
01-15-2010, 10:32 AM
I just discovered that if I wait a little while before posting, everybody else will sum up my thoughts for me! ;) Just kidding.

Haha, like that's going to stop you from blabbing a page-full! ;)

So uhm, no one is going to mention he spelled 'mysterious' the dutch way? Or is it just the thread here that's spelled wrong?

Anyway, I'll have to remember to download this one next time I get near a wifi spot. Gotta support my fellow countrymen, eh? :)

wouties
01-15-2010, 11:08 AM
Hey everyone, thanks for all the tips and comments, I really appreciate that!


I already know you from the highscore list of my own levels i think.
Yes that's correct. I enjoy all the levels made by the community because they looks amazing. So I play them a few times and then I see secret score bubbles, so I'll be in the hihgscore :)


I didn't relise you could grab onto the ceiling and climb across.
Hmm yes, that was also not the original idea, but I was on the wall/end in creating mode so I had to find a solution. And that was that the stone was on the roof.





I kinda felt like the ending was a bit too rapid with the "The stone is here!" and was hoping for some closure on what happened with Abdokodi.
Yes, you're absolutely right. But unfortunately the thermometer was 99% full so I wasn't able to make a big, great, "wow" end.



Originally Posted by Lleonard Pler
I didn't face any major problems, except for the first pyramid, some of the jumps where tricky because there wasn't much space.
There was one space that was particularly annoying, and that was the very first jump on the right wall. I felt extremely frustrated and helpless at my lack of control over the section...
Yes but I thought, if I didn't that my level was to easy.


I didn't like the rollercoaster...sorry. Had it been an amusement park level, yes, if it didn't work in a "weird way," then it would've been a brilliant idea. However, the main point of the level was to trek the Egyptian desert to find the mysterious stone...and the rollercoaster was blatantly out of place. I know your intentions though...having a vehicle is thrilling and adds variety to gameplay and pacing, but here, the rollercoaster just doesn't make any sense. Maybe a jeep suited for desert dunes may have been better direction...
Sometimes I have some ideas and I think "this would be great if I could made that in LBP". And on that moment I was working on the Mysterieus Stone of Egypt so I just put in into it. I didn't realized that it wouldn't fit in this level. But you're absolutely right, an jeep had been better.


Other issues I encountered was that there was no music...
Yes I always do the music at the end, and I was so focussed on "I made a level and now I want it have published" that I forgot the music :S


and get creatin' on your next level...
Yes, I'm working on a new level and a little part of it I have published. But it is not finished yet!
(You can also move this level to My Moon and edit it.

wouties
01-15-2010, 11:09 AM
So uhm, no one is going to mention he spelled 'mysterious' the dutch way? Or is it just the thread here that's spelled wrong?

Sorry, I'm not that good at English.

Domik12
01-15-2010, 03:08 PM
Wouties, level is great! some problems, that was already mention, do not reduce its interesting. Story is good, design is very well made and connections glass and stickers - you a genius! One things that afflicted me - that there is no some great battle for the stone at the end. Very simple. But if you already got 100% thermometer -it forgives everything! Thank you for level and fun! 4 stars! (minus 1 starfor not very good roller-coaster, difficult jump in pyramid and simple end)