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Lilman1101
03-17-2010, 07:37 AM
Mountain Climb (my first level)rifle-man_12
hey i just finished my first level and i was wondering if i could get some written feedback on it because it is my first level so i would like you to be as critical as possible because i would really want to learn from my mistakes for my next level. thanks guys
:)

masterlemons
03-17-2010, 01:23 PM
I'll check it out sometime today if I have time. Hopefully I'll be able to provide some feedback!

Lilman1101
03-17-2010, 09:44 PM
I'll check it out sometime today if I have time. Hopefully I'll be able to provide some feedback!

sweet, thank you alot!!!!

Taffey
03-17-2010, 10:38 PM
Any friend of afp is a friend of mine. ;) Welcome to the boards!

I'll check out your level in the next day or so and post some feedback.

Lilman1101
03-18-2010, 05:57 AM
Any friend of afp is a friend of mine. ;) Welcome to the boards!

I'll check out your level in the next day or so and post some feedback.

sweet, can't wait :)

Domik12
03-18-2010, 10:56 AM
Hi, Lilman1101! I just tried your level. It was good adventure until I found the hat. There is jet-pack and hint to use it, but jet-pack has too short area to fly and I can not understand what I need to do? Maybe I must simply go back to start? I will try again you level a little bit later.

And one more question: you used many different stickers and they look as some separate pictures on the background without any connections between them. And they looked a little strange and superfluous in mountain area, imho. Or it was just you experiments with stickers?

Lilman1101
03-18-2010, 11:07 AM
Hi, Lilman1101! I just tried your level. It was good adventure until I found the hat. There is jet-pack and hint to use it, but jet-pack has too short area to fly and I can not understand what I need to do? Maybe I must simply go back to start? I will try again you level a little bit later.

aw man, i was really hoping that this wouldn't cause any problems:( the reason i put the jetpack in is...well i'll bite there is a secret area in my level that you can only find with the jetpack that includes a reward to whoever finds it and so far, no-one has :( but bascically all you do is once you get the jetpack you fly up and it should trigger something which says something like "over here" and it shows you the exit. im sorry for the inconvience but thankyou for playing my level and i hope it works for you

Domik12
03-18-2010, 12:27 PM
all you do is once you get the jetpack you fly up and it should trigger something which says something like "over here" and it shows you the exit.

I tried one more time and YES!!! -I could fly over and saw your trigger with hint and camera angle, that shows finish table. But I can not understand why in previous try I could not fly up. I tried to fly up, left and right and could not do it, just fly several cm and stopped. So this time I finished you level. My conclusion: adventure was fine, you made good obstacles (maybe there were few platform with hard jump, but it is nonsense). I can not understand your big stickers painting, they looked for me too superfluous. As example of separate stickers painting they pretty good, but you made level with mountain theme and they not match to it, if you understand what I want to say.
Maybe on level it will be much better to use more stickers on materials to add some additional atmosphere and maybe you must do more work with corner tool. Right now this small pieces of rock looked good, but not as real one and what nature phenomena allows it levitation - it is the biggest secret of you level. As arcade platform adventure your level looked good, but for some real adventure with story I think there are must be more realistic details.
And maybe few more hints for players will be better too (for example in jet-pack area, if I knew, that I must go up - I had not all this troubles).

So I give you 3 :star: for this level and will look for your next works! Good luck!

wouties
03-18-2010, 01:22 PM
Hi Lilman1101,

I've got a little problem: I can't find your level. If I searche on Lilman1101 I get 0 results and when I searche on rifleman_12 I get also zero results. So is your level still online?

Wouties.

Domik12
03-18-2010, 01:37 PM
Hi, wouties! Correct PSN ID of Lilman1101 is rifle-man_12. I found his level by its name.

Lilman1101
03-18-2010, 09:45 PM
Hi Lilman1101,

I've got a little problem: I can't find your level. If I searche on Lilman1101 I get 0 results and when I searche on rifleman_12 I get also zero results. So is your level still online?

Wouties.

oh! sorry about that, i knew i shouldn't have put a hyphen in there but you should be able to find it now:) i hope to hear what you think

Lilman1101
03-19-2010, 05:33 AM
I tried one more time and YES!!! -I could fly over and saw your trigger with hint and camera angle, that shows finish table. But I can not understand why in previous try I could not fly up. I tried to fly up, left and right and could not do it, just fly several cm and stopped. So this time I finished you level. My conclusion: adventure was fine, you made good obstacles (maybe there were few platform with hard jump, but it is nonsense). I can not understand your big stickers painting, they looked for me too superfluous. As example of separate stickers painting they pretty good, but you made level with mountain theme and they not match to it, if you understand what I want to say.
Maybe on level it will be much better to use more stickers on materials to add some additional atmosphere and maybe you must do more work with corner tool. Right now this small pieces of rock looked good, but not as real one and what nature phenomena allows it levitation - it is the biggest secret of you level. As arcade platform adventure your level looked good, but for some real adventure with story I think there are must be more realistic details.
And maybe few more hints for players will be better too (for example in jet-pack area, if I knew, that I must go up - I had not all this troubles).

So I give you 3 :star: for this level and will look for your next works! Good luck!

Thanks Domik!!!! im glad you played it and left this great response. im really sorry that the jetpack didnt work for you but im glad you found the secret (teehee) about the backgrounds i generally like to put them in even if they don't necessarily fit the Theme because otherwise it usually just looks a bit bland. anyway im glad you liked the level and im thankful that you took the time to make such an awesome response

wouties
03-19-2010, 12:46 PM
Hey!

Oh, I didn't understand that there was also a hyphen between rifle and man, gheghe.

Well, now about your level. For a first level it isn't bad at all, the background was a good choice, you used the point editing tool very well. I also liked the idea of a smelting snowman, and I would develop this idea further; with a time limit or something, and if you are to late he melts. I didn't understand the hat, if you finish the the vulcano you just see the snowman with the hat: than I've got the feeling that the snowman found the hat himself and I was totally unnecessary. I hope you understand what I mean?
I also liked the rocks, they were not to "blocky".

What I also didn't inderstand were all the backgrounds whith stickers on it. I would suggest just one material with not to much stickers on it, which fits in this level. For example: you use a very simple blue material and you put some clouds on it, and voilá your air is finished! If you don't like that ideaof stickering, go to this topic and have fun!
http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?23456-Vincent-van-Sticker-A-PSP-Art-Contest-**Round-1-now-CLOSED**


Wouties.

Lilman1101
03-19-2010, 11:35 PM
Hey!

Oh, I didn't understand that there was also a hyphen between rifle and man, gheghe.

Well, now about your level. For a first level it isn't bad at all, the background was a good choice, you used the point editing tool very well. I also liked the idea of a smelting snowman, and I would develop this idea further; with a time limit or something, and if you are to late he melts. I didn't understand the hat, if you finish the the vulcano you just see the snowman with the hat: than I've got the feeling that the snowman found the hat himself and I was totally unnecessary. I hope you understand what I mean?
I also liked the rocks, they were not to "blocky".

What I also didn't inderstand were all the backgrounds whith stickers on it. I would suggest just one material with not to much stickers on it, which fits in this level. For example: you use a very simple blue material and you put some clouds on it, and voilá your air is finished! If you don't like that ideaof stickering, go to this topic and have fun!
http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?23456-Vincent-van-Sticker-A-PSP-Art-Contest-**Round-1-now-CLOSED**


Wouties.

wow, thanks for playing it and leaving some feedback:), the thing with the backrounds was that i wanted to get stickers that matched the backrounds like for green i made something foresty etc. anywayim glad you liked my corner editing (i took a looooong time):) and about the hat, it is in the volcano where you get the jetpack just suspended there, and im glad you thought it wasn't bad for a first level because im working on a second:) anyway thankyou for the feedback, i greatly appreciate it:)

VelcroJonze
03-20-2010, 12:07 AM
Nice first level Lilman!

The platforming was fun and the art style really worked well. i liked how you put the bubbles on top of the grab objects, I tried top get everyone but it was very hard to get a few. A couple things to critique, you used alot of text durring my bubble chains and I kept losing my chain. That is not a major issue unless your like me who loves to go after every bubble I see and sometimes even study an area to see the best way to get a good bubble combo. hahahaha :)

Also I fell off a swing and ended up in the platforming segment over the top of the fire before I was supposed to.

These are minor issues on otherwise great first level. I would normally give this level 3 or maybe 4 stars but I gave you 5 for a killer first level and to keep your ranking higher.

Keep those levels coming buddy!! :cool:

Lilman1101
03-20-2010, 04:22 AM
Nice first level Lilman!

The platforming was fun and the art style really worked well. i liked how you put the bubbles on top of the grab objects, I tried top get everyone but it was very hard to get a few. A couple things to critique, you used alot of text durring my bubble chains and I kept losing my chain. That is not a major issue unless your like me who loves to go after every bubble I see and sometimes even study an area to see the best way to get a good bubble combo. hahahaha :)

Also I fell off a swing and ended up in the platforming segment over the top of the fire before I was supposed to.

These are minor issues on otherwise great first level. I would normally give this level 3 or maybe 4 stars but I gave you 5 for a killer first level and to keep your ranking higher.

Keep those levels coming buddy!! :cool:

oh....wow!!!! thank you:)! this is some really great feedback:D:D:D:D:D:D im glad you liked the fact that i tried to make it easier to get to get bubble chains, this also makes me wonder if you the found the.....secret. anyway im sorry that the text bothered you it's just that i like for my fellow sacks to know what they are doing and even if you fell off the swing it isin't that bad because if you had gotten that far then the next swing would have just brought you into the volcano safetly :). Thanks for liking my art style because i really tried to make it all fit together. thanks for playing my level and giving it such a good rating!!:D im really glad you like my levels because it was a real joy making it and this is coming from one of the best LBP creators:D so i would just like to say THANK YOU!

memorex
03-20-2010, 08:21 AM
Hi Lilman 1101

I just tried your level and I must say, I think that you know the basics to make a good level, I did not have any problem to complete it, i agree with domik12 about the stickers, and with velcrojonze about the texts, and about the jetpack, I can fly around all the entire level, perhaps would be better if you glue it and modify the lenght, I can give you some advice; you should play many levels to get many ideas about mechanism, puzzles, platforms, and more... for improve your next project ( I try to do this to improve my own projects)

I hope, you understand me, how you can see my English sucks!! But I try to do my best!

Lilman1101
03-20-2010, 09:23 AM
Hi Lilman 1101

I just tried your level and I must say, I think that you know the basics to make a good level, I did not have any problem to complete it, i agree with domik12 about the stickers, and with velcrojonze about the texts, and about the jetpack, I can fly around all the entire level, perhaps would be better if you glue it and modify the lenght, I can give you some advice; you should play many levels to get many ideas about mechanism, puzzles, platforms, and more... for improve your next project ( I try to do this to improve my own projects)

I hope, you understand me, how you can see my English sucks!! But I try to do my best!

thanks for the great and just so you know, the jetpack was to find a secret in the level (i like to encourage exploration) all in all thank you for the feedback, and yours was great :)

BTW your English is extremely good (in fact if you didn't tell me i don't think i would have noticed at all:))

amazingflyingpoo
03-20-2010, 05:21 PM
Hidy Ho lilman! Sorry it has taken me soooo long to leave feedback! I saw the thread for this level at a very bad time because I had just gone somewhere for a few days and left my PSP at home :( But I got back and now I had a chance to give this a god play :)

For a first level, this level is excellent in my opinion! You not only incorporated a story (which I always like :) ), but you also have multiple bits of dialog for characters, and a lot of that dialog is funny (and does a great job poking fun at LBP). The platforming works pretty darn well, and while the level isn't hard, it certainly isn't just "run from left to right".

If I had to give a piece of advice, I would say to work on your scenery a bit. It seemed that the majority of the level consisted of large frames with stickers pasted on them, which is fine if that is what you wanted to do, but you could see over the tops of the frames as you were jumping around. It would have been good if you could have either made the frames bigger or used a camera to zoom the players view in a bit so that they can't see outside the frame. But this is not a big deal at all :)

Other than that, I would just say to experiment with more gameplay elements. You handled the very standard platforming (jumping from one platform to the next) very well, and you even showed that you were brave enough to experiment with emitters (which are pretty darn confusing you wrap your head around when you use them for a first time!!!), so I was impressed with that for a first level. Also, you have a descent understanding of winches, but I would advise to use a grab switch on the object you grab to lift you up, and wire the grab switch to the winch and set the grab switch to directional and "Inverted". This way, it will be waiting for the player when they get to it and they don't have to wait for it near the start of the level. But you did an excellent thing by having a mouth there to warn the player to wait, because a lot of people forget to do that, and then people get very confused very fast.

All in all, I think that this is a GREAT first effort, and you should be proud of this first level :)

Keep it up Lilman, and make sure to let me know when your next level is published :)

Lilman1101
03-20-2010, 11:16 PM
Hidy Ho lilman! Sorry it has taken me soooo long to leave feedback! I saw the thread for this level at a very bad time because I had just gone somewhere for a few days and left my PSP at home :( But I got back and now I had a chance to give this a god play :)

For a first level, this level is excellent in my opinion! You not only incorporated a story (which I always like :) ), but you also have multiple bits of dialog for characters, and a lot of that dialog is funny (and does a great job poking fun at LBP). The platforming works pretty darn well, and while the level isn't hard, it certainly isn't just "run from left to right".

If I had to give a piece of advice, I would say to work on your scenery a bit. It seemed that the majority of the level consisted of large frames with stickers pasted on them, which is fine if that is what you wanted to do, but you could see over the tops of the frames as you were jumping around. It would have been good if you could have either made the frames bigger or used a camera to zoom the players view in a bit so that they can't see outside the frame. But this is not a big deal at all :)

Other than that, I would just say to experiment with more gameplay elements. You handled the very standard platforming (jumping from one platform to the next) very well, and you even showed that you were brave enough to experiment with emitters (which are pretty darn confusing you wrap your head around when you use them for a first time!!!), so I was impressed with that for a first level. Also, you have a descent understanding of winches, but I would advise to use a grab switch on the object you grab to lift you up, and wire the grab switch to the winch and set the grab switch to directional and "Inverted". This way, it will be waiting for the player when they get to it and they don't have to wait for it near the start of the level. But you did an excellent thing by having a mouth there to warn the player to wait, because a lot of people forget to do that, and then people get very confused very fast.

All in all, I think that this is a GREAT first effort, and you should be proud of this first level :)

Keep it up Lilman, and make sure to let me know when your next level is published :)

yay:) i have been waiting for feedback from you (not in a bad way, in a "i can't wait to hear what he thinks of it" kind of way:)) but i don't mind as long as you played it :) (and hopefull liked it). i have been hearing alot of criticism about the backrounds but i wanted to make it seem that you were rising when you couldn't see the backrounds anymore but i didn't know that you could see above them when you were just walking around :blush:. i have been working with camera angles and switches in my new level because my first level was bascically a tutorial for the basics and i really hope to improve in my second level. im glad that you thought the text wasn't a bad idea because i'd hate for someone to get lost:(. anyway i can't thank you enough for playing my level and i can't wait to show you my second one :)