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Raikami
03-25-2010, 11:04 PM
Secret Laboratory 27 - by RaikamiKurasachan
An adventure in the depths of a forgotten place... a mad scientist who has to be stopped... a Soldier who will become a Hero. Explore the remains of the secret laboratory 27, where the evil Dr.Blindeye used to make horrible experiments using human cavies...
SECRET LABORATORY 27 - BY RAIKAMI

Hi everybody! I finally updated my level. XD
It took me really a lot of time and effort to complete it, so I really hope you'll enjoy it.
I made a quick review in 4 points, in order to make it easier to be understood:

The Story
Dr.Blindeye was a criminal scientist that worked during the Great Sackwar, and he is now chased by the governments of all the world since the war came to an end. He was a cruel genetist and inventor that used human cavies and forbidden materials to make his experiments. a week ago, he was found by the army near the ruins of one of his old labs: the abandoned laboratory 27. the army send in mission you, the Soldier Sack from the special unit, in order to find the Doctor and stop his plans. after the infiltration, it is discovered that there is a new, restored and active laboratory under the rusty ruins of the old one...

The Structure
I focused on the story first (I wanted it to be as appealing as possible) and then adapted the level structure to the story itself. there is a great difference between the superficial section (where all is rusty and in ruins) and the depths of the lab (were I tried to insert a lot of future technology). the gameplay is based on obstacles and traps in the first half of the level, but the second half has a couple of surprises: an enigma that took me four days to be completed and... a Final Boss (it is really beautiful for me, please I'd like to have impression to it in particular XD).
there are also a lot of crossroads that will lead you to some secret treasure... be shure to explore the level completely, but most of all try to enjoy it XD

The Development
I spent 4 weeks on this level, working on it for 1-2 hours a day, and with a week of pause 'cause I've got a Cold XD. I had problems with LAG (but I think I fixed it), with Pistons (I had to replace them in some places), and with the background (even having bought the Creator Edition that contains 8 new backgrounds, I could not find one that suits this level well XD). the musics... I personally feel the lack of a dark theme or a tension theme XD

I really worked hard for my first level so enjoy it and tell me what you think about it... Bye!

PS: Me and my girlfriend have the PSP in common and LBP doesn't allow you to create multiple savings.... so my user ID for the LBP server is Kurasachan, not Raikami (my name is in the descriptio of the level XD).

PPS: I don't know how to catch screenshots or make videos from my PSP, so... if somone could help me, I can post some image too... thanks.

PPPS:my english is so fu**ing bad!! please forgive me...

CyberSora
03-26-2010, 12:28 AM
I thought it was P.S.S. (and so on). Looks like I got some editing to do!

*Runs to previous post*

P.S. I'll leave some feedback later. ;)

CyberSora
03-26-2010, 01:16 AM
BUMBP! Sorry, but I got to play the level. So bare with me, because I'm trying to give you some feedback. So please don't hit me, okay? :)

Okay, so I"m in the beginning, and woopy! I'm Angent Sack, the albino orphan who was raised by werewolfs from Twilight, and is a quadraple agent who likes cheese. :p

Anyways, not seeing much. Huh.

So, now I'm at the new base. Hopefully here it's more "colorful". And I'm walking... and I'm jumping... and I'm dying... and nothing. Sorry, but what happened to the visuals? No offence, but you kind of crushed my hopes of seeing a "Supah Spy" level. Sigh...

Now I'm at the key part (first try too)! It's empty, but yet fun. Now that I gathered the key, I fall. Okay, the evil scientist tells me to go up on the roof... -.-. Umm... isn't he supposed to be hiding, as in running away? I'm sorry, but it's not setting the mood for me.

Anyways, I'm at the roof, and the fight is on! And... WTF? Why did the bad guy music go and instead this Happy Times theme song shows up? It's not that boss-battly enough. As or the boss itself, it looks great, but not difficult or complex. Couldn't you have used the 4 days to, I don't know... spice up the thing? :/

Finally, I beat it, and bland ending. Wow, not expecting that. I like the forest, but is that really it?

Overall, the gameplay was kind of fun actually, but the visuals were not a big "Look at me!" thing. As for the storyline, it was good in the beginning, but you rushed it at the end, mainly by making the bad guy die too fast and then just escape in like 3 seconds. So :star::star::star::star: for the fun of the level, but I'm not going to give it the final :star: and ♥ until I see some improvement. Deal? ;)

Peace

Raikami
03-26-2010, 06:43 AM
Cybersora, thank you very much for your comment, it will really help me to improve the level!
about the visuals... i really do not understand if you are talking about the camera angle or something else... please can you explain what you meant?
about the end of the level... to tell the truth I had an idea to make the level a bit longer, but i thought it was getting too long and that players would find it boring... (I remember that one of the rules is make the player asks more, not less... but still XD)... i'll try to make the ending a bit longer.
about the Boss... I really don't know how that music is there!! O_o I'll fix it immediatly...

thank you very much, I really need this sort of help in order to improve my skills as a Creator!
(oh, and it's P.P.S, or P.P.P.S. and so on, 'cause it stands for the latin "Post Scriptum", that means "after the text", and the repetition of "Post" defines the order, so "Post Post Scriptum" means "after what is after the text", just like "the day after tomorrow"XD).

TheNerd
03-26-2010, 08:26 AM
I might play your level a little later in the week, but right now from looking at CyberSora's feedback try making some updates and I'll be sure your level will get 5 stars or at least 4 and a heart from me :D

memorex
03-26-2010, 10:09 AM
Hi Raikami!! :)

I just played your level, I think that you have a good story here, I thought that I had to find the lab from the outside, but I started inside, I think that would have been better edit the corners of your objects, a little more, so they were not so square, and add some stickers for the decoration, keys and locks, perhaps are somewhat simple only a screen and a circle, I didn't have any problem to advance through the level, the difficulty is relatively easy, but is ok, close of the final boss, the complicated was to get arrive to the top, due to that the platforms are moved too, itís difficult to jump, from there onwards there was no more complication. I had a feeling of emptiness, in most of the sections, because they are very large areas and almost no objects, I like the part where you have to find the three switches was interesting, and the design of the boss was good. Good first level! Iíve waiting your next level.

Lilman1101
03-26-2010, 11:15 AM
i might give it a try next time i boot up LBP from charging cause i accidentally left it on....for a looooooooong time and it died. also your English is pretty flawless i don't see why people think it is bad....

CyberSora
03-26-2010, 01:54 PM
Cybersora, thank you very much for your comment, it will really help me to improve the level!
about the visuals... i really do not understand if you are talking about the camera angle or something else... please can you explain what you meant?
about the end of the level... to tell the truth I had an idea to make the level a bit longer, but i thought it was getting too long and that players would find it boring... (I remember that one of the rules is make the player asks more, not less... but still XD)... i'll try to make the ending a bit longer.
about the Boss... I really don't know how that music is there!! O_o I'll fix it immediatly...

thank you very much, I really need this sort of help in order to improve my skills as a Creator!
(oh, and it's P.P.S, or P.P.P.S. and so on, 'cause it stands for the latin "Post Scriptum", that means "after the text", and the repetition of "Post" defines the order, so "Post Post Scriptum" means "after what is after the text", just like "the day after tomorrow"XD).

Well, I'm sorry that I was your first fperson to feedback your first level, only to point out flaws. Over course, it's our job to help out like that. :)

Visuals... well, let's start off by saying the camera angles were good (although, I can't recall seeing any). When I mean visuals, I mean the stickers, the scenry, the ole' "Holy [bleep], that is awesome!" art. You didn't express much artistic visuals in the level. Creating these visuals help the player get in the modd... plaus it makes a great way to distract a person from just walking around a place. ;)

Other than that, I think you can handle it from here.

(Curse you Latins and you P.S. thingy! :p)

Raikami
03-26-2010, 03:57 PM
ok I got it ^^
I'll try to fix the sense of emptyness of my level (repeat: MORE STICKERS!!! XD) and that horrible music of the Final Boss XD I'll try to add an other section after the boss so the level will not end so quickly after defeating him, and an outside section in the begginning of the level.
I'd like you to post some comment about what you think is the best quality of the level, so please try to make me happy XD
I'm also searching for someone who can teach me how to catch screenshots on the PSP, so if someone is good at it... please help ^^
CyberSora and memorex thanks for your help, I hope you'll be satisfied about the level when I'll update it.
bye ^^

PS: I'm Italian, and in Italy we have a school called "Classic Liceum", where we have to study even acient latin and acient greek XD so i know latin quite good... for me, it is a Conditio sine qua non, that is "an obbligatory condition"... XD

Vehicle-maker
03-26-2010, 11:18 PM
PS: I'm Italian, and in Italy we have a school called "Classic Liceum", where we have to study even acient latin and acient greek XD so i know latin quite good... for me, it is a Conditio sine qua non, that is "an obbligatory condition"... XD

this may not help, but i believe its ancient

Raikami
03-27-2010, 12:58 PM
this may not help, but i believe its ancient

yes of course XD I'm Italian after all...
any other feedback about the level?

Domik12
03-27-2010, 04:52 PM
Hi, Raikami! I played your level and had much fun with it. You did great level with several cool things. Your obstacles are great, story line is interesting and I liked how you did fight with final boss. It was not so easy to beat him, but finally I won! You did very good difficulty level during all gameplay and i had no big troubles with it. Your additional prises placed very well. Maybe you could make more realistic environments with a little more corner tool work and in several places it will be better to use more decorations (as stickers and materials) for creating better atmosphere.

Anyway I gave you 4 stars for this level and will look for your next levels! Good luck!

TheNerd
03-28-2010, 01:33 AM
Visuals, visuals , visuals. I agree with CyberSora, what happened to them? Okay the key puzzle was pretty fun. After that, is the boss battle right? Well it wasn't that hard. You should have at least made it harder to destroy something that Huge. But, there was something that was a bit annoying to me. That was the platforms of the huge ship thing. I don't know if it was just me, but it kept irritating me to jump from the first two platforms to the next pair of platforms. I don't really turn on my volume of my PSP :blush: But for this level I happened to turn it up. The boss battle music was the Happy Times song thing? That really made me irritated just because it was playing while I was trying to get pass the platforms. :p But Lol, that's just me okay? Then we head over to this dead forest, but I didn't get why we ended up there. Overall, your level was good and fun. So I gave it :star::star::star::star: I hope you make some changes to your level.

CyberSora
03-28-2010, 02:02 AM
Lol TheNerd, I agree. Happy Times music is only after a victory. If you're going into battle with that type of music, then might as well put this on too. :p


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_v468ptuXw

Raikami
03-28-2010, 06:29 AM
OMG I think the very first thing I'm going todo is change that music (I REALLY don't know how it ended up being there!!!).
I'm here also to inform you that due to the fact that I have a PSP in common with my girlfriend, I won't be able to make many changes for a while.
I'll come back with some changes and maybe a new level after the easter period.
bye bye ^^

Taffey
03-28-2010, 07:07 PM
Hey Raikami-

Great little level you have here. There's some fun parts and others that need work, but I'll hit the good stuff first. ;) I thought you did a great job visually with regards to your choices in materials and your corner editing. The broken and bent walkways are particularly good, with rusty snags sticking out in nasty ways that make it look like they were just blown to bits. I love levels with industrial, metal looks to them and you did a very nice job. You had a lot of optional paths with little hidden stashes of score and prize bubbles, and seems fairly clear that you're a fan of classic side scrollers. I'm sure I recognized a little Castlevania in there somewhere. The story is very good and I like your writing as well. The final boss fight is a great "wow!" moment, both in scale and in appearance. Really cool.

There aren't too many specific things I didn't like, but there are some overall suggestions I have. As others have mentioned, you could use some additional stickers for decoration. I thought you did a good job with stickers for guiding the player, and while the materials you picked do look good they could use some accents here and there. Shading stickers would be a good place to start to add shadows underneath platforms and in the corners. The viewscreen monitors look good, so take that idea and run with it elsewhere. You could use some more score bubbles thoughout the level, and spots to build score multiplier chains would add interest as well. My main gripe with the level, however, is the boss fight. It's not impossible, but it is annoying. The overall concept is good but it just needs a bit of tuning. The swingy "fighter" platforms are a good idea, but timing the swinging of the platforms with the timing of the winches is a chore, and falling allllll the way back down to the bottom every time you fail is annoying. The little electrified creatures guarding the brain bubbles are a little plain and siimple, and killing them is hard to do without getting electrified yourself and starting.... yep, all the way back down to the bottom. You need some additional checkpoints here and there during the fight, and in fact everywhere through the level. I'd say take the number of checkpoints you have and double them. My last suggestion for improvement is to use the F4F system here in this forum! You'll get more feedback AND you'll get to play more levels. Win! :D

This is a fun experience and I really can't wait to see what else you come up with! You clearly spent a long time and on this and are very focused on the details, which is a good thing indeed. Keep doing what you're doing, and be sure to let us know when you publish your next level! :)