View Full Version : Blooming Death - 1st chapter in a book I am tring to write...

03-29-2010, 06:03 PM
I got redirected to this place, for posting this, and what is this?
It's the first chapter (right now) to a book I am trying to write, in English, and that's hard, since I do not live in an English speaking country, and also because I am just 15...

My title for the book is "Blooming Death"... Enjoy...

Chapter 1

The sun shone lazily between the clouds, upon a lone figure sitting on the edge of a big cliff. The houses of the small villages that spread around the green forest under the cliff were smaller than the fingernail of a baby, and they looked like a baby built them too.
Far in the horizon, a big city could be seen, but only the tallest buildings.
The figure sat still as a statue, even though the wind raged around him, trying with all its force to push him off.
Not even the white cape he wore, with edges red as blood, moved an inch in the fierce wind.
He sat toying with a little amulet in his hands, a rose with white petals, and instead of a stem, there was a dagger coloured as blood red as the edges of his cape.
Through the holes of his mask, formed as an oval, with three sharp edges pointing out on the top, he watched the little villages, as if he waited for something.
As a cloud covered the sun, letting no more sunshine through, turning all the colours grey and dull, screams rose through the air, accompanied by a fearsome howl. The lone figure had heard them, because in a flash, he was scouting over the vast, now grey, forest under him.
Black smoke rose from one of the villages in the far distance.
The figure turned around and walked some steps away, and then he suddenly turned around and ran with all his might to the edge of the cliff.
And then he jumped.
He fell fast; the forest was coming closer and closer every second, if he didn’t do anything quick he would become nothing more than a liquid pool lying on the forest floor.
Some seconds away from his death, the figure spread his cape and the cape began to glow like molten stone. And suddenly he did not fall anymore.
He flew.
The figure rose up in the sky, darting towards the village in peril, frightening birds as he passed them. In a matter of seconds he had reached the outer parts of the little village. He slowed down and began to hover in the air, watching the damage that had been created. Some houses were engulfed in flame, while others looked like something big had gone right through, which was likely to be the case. Some dead bodies laid spread on the ground, in the weirdest shapes. The people of the village screamed, as they ran terrified from one side to the other on the road in panic, heading towards the exit located below him, bearing as much of their belongings as they could, which was not much.
It took some time before the villagers noticed him hovering in the air, but when some of them did, they stopped and began to point at him. The hovering figure could hear one of them yell: “Look, a Bloodrose!”
And another one: “That mask! It must be Shard, we are all saved!”
Shard of the Bloodroses… That is me… But I wish I was not.
Many of the villagers turn their heads upwards and repeated what the other villagers had said. Soon, all the villagers had noticed him. All of them smiled, laughed and some of them even danced as their panic was momentarily forgotten.
On the far side of the road, the same fearsome howl from before rose through the air, and all the villagers began to storm for the exit again. Out from a building, centered in what seemed center of the village, something crashed through.
The beast stopped as soon as it came out in the dull light and stared at the hovering figure, while a grim smile widened across its face.
The beast was a dog, and it was a very big one. The fur was as black as a night without stars and the eyes were red as blood. The creature’s tail was wavering from side to side, to show its happiness it had gained from destructing the city, except that the tail was a snake, with the same blood red eyes as the dog’s it was a part of.
The dog growled and the snake hissed in unison, and began to run towards Shard. It had long waited to kill a Bloodrose. It wondered how the blood would taste. Would it taste like the human? Or better?
Shard lowered himself down towards the grounds. The glow of his cape faded away as he touched the ground with his feet.
The monstrous dog with the snake tail was now galloping, howling as it closed in on the Bloodrose.
Shard sighed and lifted his left arm and pointed it at the dog. He opened his hand as the dog leaped into the air with the jaws open, ready to bite.
And then he closed his hand.
Blood splattered across the street, and there was a scream of pain.
The dog collapsed on the ground, parted up in several pieces, many still moving.
The red in its eyes faded out as it looked at Shard.
Shard bent down and laid his hand on the dog’s head.
“I am sorry, buddy. I am. Wish there could have been some other way, but there was not any.”
When the red in the dog’s eyes had faded completely, Shard went up and headed for the villagers that now streamed back into the village.
He could hear all the whispers. “Look, he killed it!” “What did he do? I couldn’t even see what happened.” “He saved us!”
Shard rose one of his arms, and the townspeople went silent. “There is no longer any threat. Return to your homes, or what is left of them, and wait for the cleaning team of the Bloodroses to arrive.”
And with those words his cape went glowing as molten stone again, and he soared into the sky, while he heard the villagers celebrate that they were still alive.
But he didn’t celebrate. Lives had been taken. He had also taken a life, even though it was the murderer’s life, but that made him also a murderer. His thoughts went on, as he darted toward a big city in the horizon to give a rapport of what had happened, only to return and wait for the next attack on another village.

The name of the book will be explained later, if I ever get to publish it to the world...
What do you think?

04-01-2010, 09:07 PM
Wow nice story!
I like the detailed way of writing of you. :)
but "he sat toying with a little amulet in his hands" i think its playing instead of toying. (dont know for sure)

04-01-2010, 11:47 PM

The message you have entered is too short..

07-09-2010, 03:29 PM
coolio! it's really good! i can't wait for chap. 2!!!

07-19-2010, 12:10 PM
Wow nice story!
I like the detailed way of writing of you. :)
but "he sat toying with a little amulet in his hands" i think its playing instead of toying. (dont know for sure)

Toying can be used in that context as well.