View Full Version : Grab The Gold!

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Sir monacle
04-04-2017, 08:31 PM
I take you to an insane asylum. All you did was run around and stab rats. It was creepy.

I stole the gold while I was taking you to the insane asylum.

04-04-2017, 08:41 PM
I figured out that you were playing mind tricks! I was really in my ship, sleeping on my bed. I order my pirates to chase you down with ultra fast space boats, steal the gold with ropes and ride back to our ship which I shall name "Golden Sanctuary."

Sir monacle
04-04-2017, 08:44 PM
It is the year 24XX, and imagination is banned. You are sentenced to death in prison for cardboard tube duelling.

I steal the gold while you're being hauled away.

04-04-2017, 08:52 PM
My loyal pirates, which will never abandon their captain, come just in time to save me from the corrupted officers of the galaxy. We escape into the Golden Sanctuary and blast off after you. We shoot you with a cannon which is loaded with a net, trap you into the net and throw you into the ship's cage. I take the gold and sail away into brighter galaxies.

Sir monacle
04-05-2017, 06:04 AM
I use the powers of astral projection to find your location. You're scared by what you see and you drop the gold in your efforts to escape.

I then get my magical monkey henchmen (Yes) to pick up the gold.

04-05-2017, 10:16 AM
I take a barrel full of bananas and throw it overboard. You monkey henchmen follows it and falls into the deep dark space.

Now that you're alone on our ship again, I take the gold from your pocket, feed you to the space sharks and we sail into a hidden Treasure Planet.

04-05-2017, 01:47 PM
At the Treasure Planet, I find some metal that looks like gold. I throw it into a pile of other precious metals, and I convince you that it fell out of your pocket and tumbled over there. In your rush over there, you don't think to protect the real gold in your loose pocket, so it falls out and I grab it.

04-05-2017, 04:44 PM
One of my pirates saw how you stole my gold. We rush after you and throw a net. Then we start to torture you as you helplessly lay on the ground by poking you with wooden sticks.

After 30 minutes, you throw the gold into my possession. We go back to Golden Sanctuary and leave you lying on the ground with the net.

Sir monacle
04-05-2017, 06:00 PM
I level my sneak up to 100, so every time I bend down I am invisible to you. I use this ability to pick the crummy gate the cell I'm in has, and I then sneak up to you and pickpocket the gold off you.

I then climb into the cell next to my old one and stay crouching, rendering me invisible to you. (Bad for my back, but it works.)

04-05-2017, 10:31 PM
The ship has NPC cameras which can not be avoided. We find out where the gold is, go into your sell, take the gold and throw you into the magical vending machine and shoot the vending machine into a black hole. Then we sail back to Treasure Planet with Golden Sanctuary.

Sir monacle
04-06-2017, 07:08 AM
Your crew finds my position rather easily. I explain to them why I am chasing after the gold, and they listen. After a few minutes of a tearful story, they agree that there is only one way to complete my quest. That solution is to stage a mutiny. Your crew grabs their weapons, and prepare to battle. We surround you with our weapons and kindly ask you to back down. You, being a stubborn shell of a man, didn't want to go down without a fight. With the amount of people against you, the fight doesn't last very long. I tie you up, and take the gold. I tell my crew to set sail for a dessert, throughout the whole journey, I don't keep my eyes off you. Upon arrival, I untie you, throw you into the sea of sand, and give you a bullet and a pistol. This way you had a choice, you could end it there, or wander miles upon miles of sand in hopes of finding something.

If your crew respects me, then I shall respect them. If they do not give the respect I demand, then I shall get my respect through fear.

With this in mind, we set sail for a new location.

04-07-2017, 12:10 AM
You were in the black hole this whole time and were hallucinating things. You wake up in your dessert which you thought was a desert filled with sand. But it turns out to be a cake filled with chocolate.

You see the gold floating right before you. When you try to grab it, you slip and drown into the brown, sweet chocolate paradise.

Meanwhile, we are having a feat on the Treasure Planet with the real gold in our possession.

Sir monacle
04-07-2017, 06:03 AM
Wait, we can bend reality?

Okay then.

You're 150-year-old frail man wearing nothing but a towel. You can't stand up without tumbling over again. I saw you trying to drag the gold, and out of pity, I took the gold off your hands. I then escaped at a brisk pace, something you can't keep up with.

Seriously, what's the point of writing a paragraph when we can do this?

04-07-2017, 10:02 AM
You confused me to your grandpa and you stole his golden chocolate bar. The police officers find you and arrest you for bullying your own old man.

The gold is still within my possession in my ship.

Sir monacle
04-07-2017, 10:09 AM
Your ship blows up for some reason and the gold teleports into my hands. how convenient.

04-07-2017, 10:13 AM
We blame about this glitch to the admin. He fixes our ship and teleports the gold into our possession again.

Sir monacle
04-07-2017, 11:22 AM
right after you turn on the ship's engine, the ship explodes again. What a lazy admin.

You try to pay the admin off with the gold, but he had no use for it. In the end he took the gold and sold it to me.

Also, your head is a chicken.

04-07-2017, 01:50 PM
I lure you to a link for an "Auto rule-breaker", and I get you to ship your gold to me in exchange for it.

04-07-2017, 05:05 PM
I come into your house in a chicken costume, take the gold and replace it with a golden chocolate bar. Then I run off into farmlands so no one will never find me.

Sir monacle
04-07-2017, 06:15 PM
I find you. I take the gold right off your hands, and break it in half, I then give you one half, ending 64 years of petty fighting.

04-07-2017, 07:19 PM
At first I am OK with the deal, but the pirate mateys want to share our treasure. Turns out that it's not enough to satisfy their need to buy presents for their families, so we find you and take the gold from your Sir monacle plushie's mouth while you're sleeping and we all sneak away as if we're in a cartoon.

Sir monacle
04-07-2017, 08:38 PM
I choke on the sir monacle plushie. You killed me, and it is all for you and your family's greed. I hope you're happy.

I come back as a ghost, and possess my half of the gold. Whenever you look into the shiny part of the gold, your reflection is replaced with mine. Doesn't really do anything, does it?

04-07-2017, 09:05 PM
We revive you by sacrificing 999 Sir monacle plushies to the lord of the underworld. Then we give you a nice vacation on our Golden Sanctuary which involves swimming, eating, partying, pizza and other pleasant stuff. You feel so relaxed that you forget about the gold which I am keeping within my chest which is hidden in my room on that ship.

Sir monacle
04-08-2017, 08:29 PM
I can't swim, I hate pizza, parties give me headaches, and eating can cause choking. You brought me back to life just put me into a world of hell - just to torture me. I get my revenge by stealing something that you take great pride in, which in this case, turns out to be the gold.

04-08-2017, 11:35 PM
Little did you know that oxygen creates rust on iron. Your lungs gets rusty and you die when they aren't working.

Wondering how you died, we take the gold bar from your hands and throw you overboard to float in a blue galaxy.

04-09-2017, 03:35 AM
I can't bother to read this whole saga, so I hire a henchman to rob Nemo of the gold.

Sir monacle
04-09-2017, 06:03 AM
I call batman to beat your henchmen up. For some reason, it actually works, he gives me back the gold (Which has been awkwardly taped together) and I break it in half. I leave the other half on the floor and run off back to my house.

04-09-2017, 12:40 PM
Thanks to your gold detector, we find you and the both halves of gold. We picked the 1st half from the ground and we stop the flow of time around you for 1 week. We take the gold from your hands and you won't even notice it, because we move in the speed of light compared to your time flow.

We go back to Golden Sanctuary and warp into another dimension.

Sir monacle
04-12-2017, 07:45 AM
Sadly, the dimension you entered was that of my own. In here, whatever I want happens, and I want my half of the gold.

I take my half the gold and put inside Buckingham palace, a secure place where it is near impossible to enter.

04-12-2017, 01:53 PM
Little did you know that I hired one of the watchmen there, and I order him to beam me the gold.

Sir monacle
04-12-2017, 01:57 PM
I'm certain your price does not match up to that of what the country pays. He refuses your offer and sends you to my Dungeon. Upon your arrival, I decide to let you go, as you long as you promise not to go after my half of the gold.

04-12-2017, 10:26 PM
You half gold was just a yellow rock all along! I switched it during our time in your dimension.

Both gold halves are in my ship, where I have fused them together and painted them in black color so you'll never find it in my ship.

Sir monacle
04-13-2017, 05:59 AM
Thanks for telling me where they are, what you've done with 'em and how to find it!

I use this information to take the gold, set up some explosives and kill us both. I detonate the bomb, destroying not only the ship, but also our limbs!

04-13-2017, 09:58 PM
That's what you thought when you blew up yourself like a suicide bomber.

My wooden leg had a hidden mechanic which transforms into an indestructible shield ball, containing me inside of it. The ship also stays unharmed because your bomb is only effective enough to rip apart bodies, not strong enough to destroy Golden Sanctuary.

We dump your body parts from the toilet and clean the mess while I am having a nap, feeling happiness when I know that my gold bar is hidden from thieves like you.

Sir monacle
04-14-2017, 10:46 AM
I get all these cool-looking robot parts. As a cyborg, your sensors and traps are confused as to what I am. I abuse this to sneak aboard your ship and steal back my half of the gold. I then swallow my half of the gold, meaning if you want it, you will have to tear me apart.

04-26-2017, 01:28 AM
After some time, we finally find you in your old sanctuary in Mars. We prepare for a war against you and your plushies. My loyal pirates shoot galactic cannons against your armies as they try to destroy us by throwing their bodies at us in great numbers.

However, quality beats quantity, and after days of fighting, we make it to your throne room, where me and two of my most loyal pirates fight against you and your robot monacles. The battle is tough and hard as I cut your servants down with my steel blade and the wooden arm's ethereal blade. My friends use pistols and energy swords against the robot monacles. The robot monacles are tough and large, using energy to create lightning bullets and shooting them at us. Yet we are experienced enough to dodge and parry them.

You are sitting on the throne for the whole fight. When only me, my pirates and you remain, you stand up and try to kill us with your mind tricks. You try to make us kill ourselves by sending negative energy to our souls, but my defensive mechanic saved us just in time. With sweat and blood, I strike you down with my both blades, cutting you into pieces.

I take your gold half and when I do, your self-destruct mechanic begins its countdown. We rush back to Golden Sanctuary, blast off into outer space and watch the biggest explosion of Mars from there. Your sanctuary is no more.

Sir monacle
04-26-2017, 06:05 AM
The gold is gone, torn away by the hands of your army, with the scraps of technology you left behind in your battle, I was able to stop myself from dying. I tried staying within the crumbles of my kingdom, but I just couldn't rest. I knew that you would find me here. The only solution I had was to turn myself in, after all, you're bad people, but you're not savages. I knew that the only thing you would do is board me unto your prison and kill me if I try to escape. Was the gold even in your prison? It wouldn't make much sense if it was, but a warden must visit his prison, and on your ship lies the gold.

I called your army, and I told them what I was offering. My offer was that if I go to prison, I would not cause you any hassle. What choice did they have? Kill me in the face of public? They're not savages, and they want the best publicity that can be offered. To them, it was the "honourable" thing to do.

After a long journey, I was finally aboard the prison. I had nothing on me but the clothes on my back. Prison was hard, but I survived. I met a group of people who knew of my plans. They knew of the gold, the prison and the warden. They too wanted to escape, but now they no longer know of the outside world. They asked me to gather scraps of technology so they could aid in my plan. the thing they wanted to make was a weapon. A powerful one at that, too. The day of your visit grew near, and I started to worry. If it's not finished upon that day, I will not be able to escape.

The day arrived, and I decided to check on the group. What I saw wasn't them. What I saw was two gaurds gawking over the weapon crafted by the now deceased group. I did what must have been done. I killed them both, just as the clock struck twelve. I needed to hide, so you could get closer. You came close. The plan was finally in action. I got up and grabbed you as my hostage. If anybody wanted to stop me, there would have to be a bullet between your eyes. I climbed aboard your empty ship clutching you at my shoulder. I started the ship up, and threw you off. Before you knew it, I was out of the prison with the gold.

06-17-2018, 09:24 PM
Over a year later, you finally reach a point where you decide to cash in some of the gold, only to find it was fake... At some point, I had switched the gold before you even got ahold of it all that time ago. The real gold was safely in my spare pants pocket.

11-09-2018, 10:27 PM
I woke from a coma that had lasted for over a year. I was no longer human nor a cyborg; there was no steel, skin, or flesh on me. I had become something pirates always have thanks to their curse; a skeleton. As I rose from the metal shell that contained me, I look around with my mind's eye, and find myself in a dim, grey, yet peaceful, round metal room, where other empty metal shells with glass doors were lying around in a neat order. I left the room through a sturdy, metal door that opened and closed behind me by itself.

When I entered the next room that was well lit, I found a chest, that resembled the one my old pirates had in our old ship. As I open it with the key I noticed hanging in my neck, the gold was there with a note:

"Ahoy, matey! If you ever wake up again, take this gold which we had been searching for a long time. Turned out, the real one was in a witty guy's pocket all this time, and we managed to switch it to a fake without them noticing during their sleep. We all have left our pirate lives behind, but thanks to the adventures you brought us, we wanted to leave this true gold for you. Cheers!"

With a grin, I grabbed the gold, walked outside from the sanctuary and find myself in a forest of an unknown planet. Next to the sanctuary is a one-man space ship. I board it with the gold, and fly to outer space.