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View Full Version : Yes, use F4F The Phoenix Star Disaster



TheOshenator
08-30-2010, 12:31 PM
The Phoenix Star DisasterThOshenator
You are on a high-tech transport ship called the Phoenix Star when you are hi-jacked by an unknown force and brought down on an unexplored planet. You must escape the damaged ship and fight to be free of the hostile world. Good Luck and Enjoy :-)


http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23023 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23018 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23014 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23017 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23019 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23016 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23104 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23021 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23020 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23022 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23015 http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=23118

coasterfreak1235
08-30-2010, 01:00 PM
A Good Try but...

The biggest con for me was the visuals. They could have been way more detailed, and you should use the grid most of the time, in levels like these. Lost of things were visible when they shouldn't. Another con were the doors. They looked bad, and the on/off switch made them feel... cheap. You should cover the space where the door retracts, and use permanent logic with them. You could also fix the grammar in your speech bubbles, they almost always cheapen a level.
The gameplay really wasn't too good, because there was little of it. You should work on the boss for more.

Remember, practice makes perfect, and create because it's fun, not because you could get 10 000 hearts. That's not the road to go.

Sorry, :star::star:

TheOshenator
08-30-2010, 11:02 PM
Darn, this was the most work I put into a level so far. I don't think I'll bother making anymore since I don't seem to be any good. I guess your right about what you said although I must stand up for myself on the grammar side. The grammar in the speech bubbles is perfect.

L1GhTmArE
08-30-2010, 11:17 PM
Darn, this was the most work I put into a level so far. I don't think I'll bother making anymore since I don't seem to be any good. I guess your right about what you said although I must stand up for myself on the grammar side. The grammar in the speech bubbles is perfect.

Don't get discouraged so quickly! Hes just giving you some some advice to make you better. Don't stop making levels but just spend more time in making them. Or atleast until you think you did all you could do to make it like what you saw in your mind. Also remember that peoples 'tastes' are different. If he didnt like it someone else might think its cool. Just keep your head up and keep moving forward. ;)

DangItsTY
08-31-2010, 12:32 AM
Unlike coasterfreak1235, the logic was what i did not like the most. I do, however, like your level. It has a cool story and a good level of gameplay. The visuals are not THAT fantastic, but they are great lol. Compared to other levels of your genre, yours may not be as good, but this is a GREAT start! And coasterfreak1235 is not discouraging you! He's simply helping you!!!

So here are some things to get started on
- keys break and never return
- door to pod can break (if i make it go down while the door opens)
- and all of the other things coasterfreak1235 mentioned

i gave your level 4 stars :) so don't worry!! and dont give up!!!

F4F: Noi World (http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?34358-Noi-World)

TheOshenator
08-31-2010, 12:19 PM
Thanks very much for both reviews. I can't think what else to put in that would make it any more detailed. I guess I was on a bit of a downer that day anyways so I suppose I'll keep trying. Thanks again :-)

SpeedyMcKnuckles
08-31-2010, 02:51 PM
Do keep trying, Osh! You've got a lot of potential from what I've played of yours.

I haven't had a lot of time in the game lately due to work and home responsibilities, but I'm bookmarking this one to play when I can because I was excited that you had made an attempt at a story level! Yay!

I'm a dummy when it comes to logic and my visuals aren't the best, and yet I managed to get "very nearly spotlighted" with my Invasion level, so don't give up! Anything can happen, and tastes do differ. Some folks tore mine apart, and made me feel like all the effort was overlooked and only the flaws were seen, but all I have to do is scroll up and down the thread to find someone who loved it. So my next level will have more time put into it, and lots of advice taken from the negatives. Most criticism is constructive, and not to be taken personally.

OK, I'm rambling, so I'll stop and simply say I'm looking forward to playing this! Some of the gripes folks have with it sound legitimate, but they're also pretty easy fixes. Someone (like me) might even be willing to give you a hand tidying it up, when they have the time. :)

TheOshenator
08-31-2010, 08:40 PM
Thanks very much SalaciousCrumbcake :) I know I shouldn't complain when someone dosen't like my level because I asked for the reviews :P I was just being stupid lol Of course I'll keep trying. I've already started making a new level :-) I'd be glad to accept help from you :-)


Thanks to everyone who's been supportive :-) And I'm sorry for the hiccup in my confidence. I will keep making levels :-) And of course keep giving reviews and I promise I won't get upset if you don't like it :P :L

midnight_heist
08-31-2010, 10:00 PM
Thanks very much SalaciousCrumbcake :) I know I shouldn't complain when someone dosen't like my level because I asked for the reviews :P I was just being stupid lol Of course I'll keep trying. I've already started making a new level :-) I'd be glad to accept help from you :-)

Thanks to everyone who's been supportive :-) And I'm sorry for the hiccup in my confidence. I will keep making levels :-) And of course keep giving reviews and I promise I won't get upset if you don't like it :P :L
That's the spirit!
If you keep working on the constuctive criticism, your levels will only get better. ;)

GreatWhite000
08-31-2010, 10:01 PM
I started to play your level but I stopped because it was wayyy too dark so I couldn't see what you are supposed to do.

DangItsTY
08-31-2010, 10:05 PM
When in doubt:
1) walk right because most levels are built left to right, so logically going right would lead to progress
2) search room, jump, and spam R1
3) kill yourself (retry button)

I hate dark levels too, but his was playable.

TheOshenator
08-31-2010, 10:22 PM
It gets bright as soon as you go up the first elevator.

Sabre_
09-01-2010, 04:54 PM
I just played your level and heres is my feedback

Positives:
+Intro I like how it looked in the beginning made you wanna see what you had store for us throughout the level
+Gameplay went very smooth no problems with that
+Platforming was pretty good

Negatives:
-On the forth picture on the right I think you could of made a better door and had it open differently then how you had it when you have to hold the switch..(Minor problem)
-Scenary looked good but need a little more out there then 2 mountains just gave it a plain look but at least you did put something back there though :)

Overall keep up the good work would tell you the rating I gave it but forgot to write it down, meant to post this the day I played but waited to long..And yea like the others said dont let bad feedback make you wanna quit just let that be something to get to better and wanting to fix the errors so next level you do make you dont make the same mistake :)

F4F- Umbra Valley: A lost soul (http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?34670-Umbra-Valley-A-Lost-Soul)by L1ghtMare
F4F- Umbra Valley 2: Prepetual Escape by Me

TheOshenator
09-01-2010, 09:30 PM
Thanks very much Sabre. I'm currently working on a level but I have major problems :( Its only just started and the thermometers 95% full :( People said I don't have enough detail in "The Phoenix Star Disaster" and I seem to have to much in this one :P

SpeedyMcKnuckles
09-02-2010, 06:40 PM
Hey, Osh! I don't know if you've already updated the level or not, but it seemed fine to me!

The door did break on the pod... not sure how to fix that, but it didn't kill the gameplay...

Which was fairly fun! Nothing groundbreaking, but there's a lot to be said for a simple, fun level that's happy to be what it is.

The wheel puzzle was pretty fun! I enjoyed it a lot. I do hope there's an emitter contingency in case the keys break though. Mine didn't, so I was fine.

The boss fight was simple, but fun!

I was playing two players, and my other player died after the wheel... I don't remember quite how. She might've been left behind by the elevator. (a require all setting on the proxy would cover that) It wasn't until the boss fight that the next checkpoint allowed her to rejoin the game. So one more after the wheel would be good. Easy fix.

These are the best visuals, and the best overall level I've seen from you yet, sir! Keep up the great work, and you'll only get better and better! :star::star::star::star:

I'm not sure if you've played my Invasion of the Sack Men From Space! level yet, but I'd love to see what you think!

psn: SpeedyMcKnuckles

TheOshenator
09-02-2010, 10:22 PM
Thanks very much SalaciousCrumbcake :-) I know how to stop the pod door breaking I just haven't gotten around to it yet :-). I'll sort out everything in the level once I publish the one I'm currently working on. If you think the visuals in this level were good you should see the next lol I went all out on it but unfortuantely the visual side meant that I couldn't make a long level because of the thermometer.

thor
09-03-2010, 01:14 PM
This level was good, but it wasn't without its fair share of problems. The intro section in the ship was OK but it was missing a longer section where you explore the ship before everything goes wrong. The doors that you use after you solve a puzzle etc. are all connected to on/off switches - they should be directional. As it is, once you insert the key to a door, it will open and close, sometimes slowly, and so you don't know if you've done it right. It looks a lot better when a door opens and stays open. Also a quick suggestion for the boss fight - it should be on only 1 level, maybe an extra level could be used for hiding but nothing else. Otherwise it makes it too easy to dodge the plasma balls and multiple layers can also be confusing when trying to shoot at something. Visually the level was quite good, it maybe could have been better but I don't have any specific suggestions.

TheOshenator
09-03-2010, 04:23 PM
Thanks very much for the reply thor :-) I'll fix the doors now. And I made sure all layers were covered in the boss fight because I didn't want people to keep hiding. I did give an infinite life checkpoint though.

DangItsTY
09-03-2010, 10:01 PM
Hey! I'm taking a second look at your level and this is what I've found:

- The beginning is a little off in that it says "everyone remain calm" before the lights shut off or before the sirens. Something should happen, like a boom or a monster noise, or someone dying, before that message appears.
- Good job on fixing the start door!
- You fixed the keys! great job! Although a little weird that two show up, it still works and that's the main point.
- Lol pod door still breaks, but it's fine i guess, since it IS a broken pod =P.
- All in all, good job in fixing the level :D.

Btw, I updated my level as well, and specifically the shark pit is better, and a little few things were fixed. Check it out!Noi World (http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?34358-Noi-World)

TheOshenator
09-03-2010, 10:45 PM
I'm sorry for not fixing the pod. I know how too its just that I've been working on another level ( Fiddle of the Irish ) so I didn't have the time. Now that it's done I'll get right too it.

JustinArt
09-03-2010, 11:48 PM
Most people of this level has already said what I would have put in this thread but I got to say I found this level to be enjoyable despite the lack of visuals. Don't worry my first levels are like that too that they feel unpolished and lacked many stuff but my levels aren't like that anymore. The jetpack puzzle part is amazing and the boss battle is a blast. I liked the idea of using the MGS mantis dolls as the aliens and the layer glitch of mountain doesn't looked detailed but it looks like a good start of your visuals [same goes with the weapon room]. Overall this level has good but not great gameplay and the visuals are decent. I gave it 4 stars. Keep it up.

Play and F4F "The Hero Chronicles LV7 Dragon Ruins"

TheOshenator
09-04-2010, 10:24 AM
Thanks very much for the review JustinArt. I'm glad you liked the jetpack part. I tried to make the mountains detailed but it kept saying "this shape is getting too complicated you cannot add any more to it". I'll play your level and get back to you with what I thought as soon as I can :-)

TheOshenator
09-05-2010, 12:29 PM
I would just like to say that the pod has been fixed so it can't go down and break the door. And all the doors have been fixed so they can't go down once their activated. :-)

TheOshenator
09-07-2010, 08:02 PM
I was thinking of putting a new section in this level, does anyone have any suggestions? I would be happy to integrate any good ones into the level :-)