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FreeAim
01-15-2013, 01:59 PM
I promised myself I would not do this thread because of few bullying incidents, but I believe that their numbers have easily gone over "a few" now. So, as the topic name says: I want to have a rather serious discussion about bullying on this site and I posted it here, in Site Feedback, because I find it so that it concerns everyone and is something that should be dealt with.

Firstly, I am not pointing fingers here or anything like that at all. I am going to talk about bullying in general, what it does to the people who get targeted and most importantly, what everyone should be concerned about, what effect does it have on this site in general. If you feel offended by this thread so far, then you don't need to read further.

Alright, let's get down to it then. Bullying in this site is kind of different than the usual sort of bullying on internet-sites. After all, the community's major groups here are the people who are mature and people who are young. Which would you think contains most bullies? The "mature" people do. This leads to bullying being passive-aggressive instead of straight-up offensive here, which is not a good thing. I am not saying that troll-like, childish bullying would be better, but it would be more easily noticed. And this doesn't mean any criticism in Level Showcase sections of the forums. It's actually the one place bullying can't be found in here. It means the overall meanness here, when there is no good purpose behind it, however it is very often coated into "wish to help or guide the person with some tough love." Tough love is okay, but this is far different, because the sole purpose with bullying is to make others feel bad and it happens quite often.

What people don't seem to understand is the effect the small, constant, mean things have on people. Some people just appear easier to bully, so even if someone only says one or two mean things to another because the way s/he appears to be like, it is likely there are others who think the same way as you do. It leads to masses bullying certain people, which make their time on this site less fun and will have effects beyond this site as well. So if you go around saying a small, bad thing to someone because you don't like something in the person, think what effect it has in his or her personal life as others are likely to do the same at some point. In the end, it can go as far as make the person leave this site for good, which leads us the effect it has on the entire community here.

When people are bullied because they don't appear adult-like, or seem childish, have a bad grammar or something like that, it makes them not enjoy their time here, which makes them leave. This can lead to community not changing and it is really bad for this site overall. If the community doesn't get new people here and doesn't have diverse groups of people, it will make this site get stuck in its current type, making people more and more mean to the people who are not like the usual people here. When this goes on for long enough, there will, in the end be no more new people joining here. No new people makes this site as well as any other site this happens to die and decay over time.

And do not think I am making this up because I have seen a few rather good sites die because of this exact reason. Even if the community is as large as it is at the moment, it can still happen.

So now we can get into my feedback to the community as well as the site's authorities. Something needs to be done to reduce the negative overall atmosphere here, but it can not only be done by the moderators alone. It needs the community's help as much. I still won't point fingers, though some are bound to get that impression if they have read the post.

This is my current feedback to all of this site.

Your fella', FreeAim

PS: Don't worry if you have done it yourself once or twice. No, not that, I mean bullying. Don't worry. You are not the only one. Even I have done that a few times in my days here and I feel just bad for it.

ForgottenEnigma
01-15-2013, 02:29 PM
I want to have a rather serious discussion about bullying on this site and I posted it here, in Site Feedback, because I find it so that it concerns everyone and is something that should be dealt with.



Well this is the thing, and please don't take this the wrong way, but it kind of doesn't concern everyone.

All a discussion of bullying will do is provoke naming and shaming of users which ultimately is not needed and just hurts feelings. I've said this on a few threads now, but if you have a concern with another user, talk to a moderator in private and the issue WILL be solved quickly and quietly in a manner that is dignified for all parties involved. They are here to help, so seek it.

FreeAim
01-15-2013, 02:37 PM
I am not certain if you read the entire post, or if you just didn't understand what I was going for in it, because I can be hard to understand at times. I did explain why it concerns everyone in the main post and what its effects on the community are on the long run. Trust me, if I had concerns with few people specifically, I would've not made this post. And even if it did only concern a couple of guys... I explained in the post why it wouldn't work to simply report them. Because the things they do and say are passive-aggressive, near-subtext kind of things. It's the fact that massive amounts of people do that constantly that is the worst.

jwwphotos
01-15-2013, 03:00 PM
Basically there no tolerance for bullying on this site. You are welcome to report any post you feel is bullying, troll like, or abusive to the mods and they take care of it if they agree.

There may be other instances of emotionally charged discussions, but those are watched quite closely and the worst of them locked down and comments removed that may cross the line or off topic, and not lending to the thread topic.

At times I may be the one that some think give a bit of tough love here and there. Usually the only time that happens is after I have tried many times to help someone both via PM's, visitor messages and threads, but never seem to want to learn or simply choose to ignore my advise. Usually those are threads asking for advice how to get plays or hearts. I go out of my way to help new members, to show them how to use the F4F system proactively and get lots of feedback to help them improve as a creator. I start to get a bit tough once I see someone has made several threads asking the same thing and never once taking any of my advice to heart. In essence, I guess they are hoping for a secret to land in their laps. However by doing it time after time, they simply are making a thread outside the showcase in hopes to garner plays etc. and looking for a shortcut to the hard work it takes to become a better creator. I am always happy to help or give advice to those that want to learn and try, but not so much for those that are just attempting yet another badly veiled "heart me" thread.

So if you notice anything you feel is bullying, then please do report it. ...and I take it you have or you would have not made this long post. ;)

Thanks for your concern. :)

Lady_Luck__777
01-15-2013, 03:16 PM
As both David and JW have given you the best advice, I'm going to lock this thread as anything further is not going to solve the issue.

Whenever you see a post you feel is displaying adverse behaviour, you need to report it and the staff WILL look into it and take appropriate action.

Please pm the staff if you wish to discuss this more. :)