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View Full Version : Poem: Forever known, Fate (WIP)



Raku
07-27-2014, 03:35 AM
This one is an old one made back in fall of 2011 which I revised the poem back in spring of 2013.

I hope you enjoy http://i.cubeupload.com/3Jq14z.png



Forever known, Fate

Keep spinning the twine
as you take a sip of wine
Building the road we must travel
even though we are quick to unravel
You pass judgement before we act
as if it were an established fact
We try so hard to change our path
but we end up feeling your wrath
Like fish, we are caught in your bait
You will forever be known as cruel fate

This is a poem about trying to fight destiny, but sadly all things lined up for you are inevitable. Plus you can take one of the lines as how people tend to judge others based on past events, and not how they may act now... This poem was spawned when I had the lines, "Keep Spindling your twine, as you take a sip of wine" going around in my mind.

Again, this isn't the first version, and isn't the final version because I'm still working on it...



Forever known, Fate

Keep spinning the twine
as you take a sip of wine
Building the road we must travel
even though we are quick to unravel
You pass judgement before we act
and that is a very hurtful fact
We try so hard to rise up against you
but there isn't anything we can do
Like fish, we are caught in your bait
You will forever be known as cruel fate

I'm not really fully happy with either version, but please let me know what you guys think...

I mean do you like it, any suggestions?

If you like this then check out my Creative HUD (http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/entry.php?11026-Creativity-HUD) for more.

wally-217
07-29-2014, 09:41 PM
I don't really get what it's about.

Raku
07-31-2014, 02:48 AM
I don't really get what it's about.

Well it's entirely up to the reader to decide what it's about.

When I wrote this I had the original intentions of basing it off of Greek mythology and fate (or Morai (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moirai)). Then I took it further where I put out the view point of how people always bring up the idea of free will, but if there is such a thing as fate or destiny then there is no real reason to fight it because whatever happens is inevitable. In the end though it is a waste because you can't fight what is already planned out. Sure you may wish you can and might even strain yourself, but unfortunately "the tides" are in control.

However, after I finished the concept of the poem I went back and realized that it could relate to character. I really can't think of any proper to say now how to explain without rambling or pulling a Godwin's law so I'll just quote my original explanation.


Plus you can take one of the lines as how people tend to judge others based on past events, and not how they may act now...