PDA

View Full Version : The 'Don't watch this' thread



LuckyShot
03-01-2009, 08:46 AM
So in keeping in good spirits with the Watch This thread, and in reguards to watching one of the worst movies of my life, I start this thread. To be used to warn others of bad movies... a what not to rent, black list of low budget, terrible acting, and just bad scripted flicks.

So I kick the list off with:
Southland Tales

Seriously a complete waste of my last couple hours.

Teebonesy
03-01-2009, 09:05 AM
Hahaha! What the hell! I entered this thread with the EXPRESS purpose of mentioning Southland Tales. What are the odds, that out of all the movies nobody's seen, this is the one you do this thread about. Kudos to you good sir.

Although I take the opposite approach and say "watch it". It's the ****dest thing I've ever seen. it's the grossest train-wreck of a movie I've EVER SEEN. From the writer-director of Donnie Darko, this kid Richard Kelly was being hailed as possibly the next David Lynch. And then he makes THIS. It's unbelievable. It's UNBELIEVABLE.

I could go on and on and on about how BAD this movie is, and it wouldn't come CLOSE to getting the actual point across.

The movie's such a train-wreck and from such a young talent, and someone who was a real rising star, someone who people and critics were looking at with reverence and respect, whose future projects were greatly anticipated. Southland Tales sounded like the perfect Richard Kelly film. Ambitious, sprawling, strange, dreamlike, topical.

It was so awful, so fundamentally broken, that I'm utterly fascinated by it. I've seen it 4 times. I'm planning on buying the Blu Ray just to listen to his commentary track (he didn't record one for the dvd).

It's one of the worst movies I've seen. But whereas most people would not recommend it, I recommend it. Take the plunge. Join the club. We give out T-shirts that say "I watched Southland Tales". it's kind of a bonding experience. Like soldiers in war. We've been there, man. We know.

Battlefield Earth is another ----ing atrocious movie that I heartily recommend. I think most of the absolute worst movies are well worth the time it takes to sit through.

It may be because I'm a filmmaker - There's as much to learn from the terrible movies as there is from the great ones. They're cautionary tales. Some of them are such indelible trainwrecks that you can't help but be mesmerized by them.

Morrinn3
03-01-2009, 12:14 PM
**** it, Teebonesy... You totally sold me on this movie.
I'm going to have to see it now. In fact, I'm getting it as we speak.

Anyways, worst movie that comes to mind...

Gerry.
Its bad, but not in the 'Trainwreck' kinda bad. It's just a two hour movie where absolutely nothing happens what so ever.

mrjoeyman
03-01-2009, 12:43 PM
If anyone goes to see "The Spirit" please don't be too ashamed to post here. Take this as a warning. :)

Boomy
03-01-2009, 04:37 PM
Elf - Good god what a terrible film.
Babylon AD - Good film/effects but terrible story and an even worse ending.

S-A-S--G-U-N-R
03-01-2009, 04:40 PM
I've said this before (different thread), and used this video before but...
Snakes on a Train- don't watch it.

YouTube - Snakes On A Train clip

Kog
03-01-2009, 05:05 PM
Three words, and one number:
The Pink Panther 2
I loved the first one but the second one was terrible! I was smarter than the 'Worlds Greatest Detectives' by guessing who stole the diamond from the very start! There where so many stupid things about it I can't say them all! Don't watch it!

And to the Snakes on a train thingy, that looks terrible! The acting sucks and the camera and sound suck! How they make such a terrible movie! But I'm going to get it, because me and my friends always make fun of stupid movies like that! :D

Boomy
03-01-2009, 05:07 PM
Three words, and one letter:
The Pink Panther 2
I loved the first one but the second one was terrible! I was smarter than the 'Worlds Greatest Detectives' by guessing who stole the diamond from the very start! There where so many stupid things about it I can't say them all! Don't watch it!

And to the Snakes on a train thingy, that looks terrible! The acting sucks and the camera and sound suck! How they make such a terrible movie! But I'm going to get it, because me and my friends always make fun of stupid movies like that! :D

2 is a number >.<

That film looks so bad, but I don't like Steve Martin.

Kog
03-01-2009, 05:48 PM
2 is a number
Lolwhoops...

Yarbone
03-01-2009, 10:32 PM
Ok... maybe some people wouldn't agree with me but... The worst movie I've ever seen is Alien vs. Predator 2

Not because it has bad camera, acting, or special effects 'n stuff, but because of the story; there are loads of people who just don't have a purpose in the movie but to die. The story is freakin' about nothing! The only thing that matters is that the predator kills the alien thing. And that's it... everybody dies nobody has a usefull purpose in the movie, and it's totally about nothing... so :mad:

I don't want to watch it again :)

Walter-Kovacs
03-02-2009, 07:04 AM
Hahaha! What the hell! I entered this thread with the EXPRESS purpose of mentioning Southland Tales. What are the odds, that out of all the movies nobody's seen, this is the one you do this thread about. Kudos to you good sir.

Although I take the opposite approach and say "watch it". It's the ****dest thing I've ever seen. it's the grossest train-wreck of a movie I've EVER SEEN. From the writer-director of Donnie Darko, this kid Richard Kelly was being hailed as possibly the next David Lynch. And then he makes THIS. It's unbelievable. It's UNBELIEVABLE.

I could go on and on and on about how BAD this movie is, and it wouldn't come CLOSE to getting the actual point across.

I'm so glad you say watch it, and so glad you have seen it 4 times. I only got to see it once in the theater but I wanted to see it again.

Honestly this movie fascinates me, and although parts of it are completely ridiculous I really liked it. Yeah it's a complete mess, but not in a bad way...
Honestly, all I can say for this movie is that when the credits hit I was grinning my *** off.

Anyways, my movie to add to the list is Underdog, sure it's just a kids movie...but it blows.

Bear
03-02-2009, 03:02 PM
Oh god, there's such an endless list of terrible movies that should never be seen by ANYONE otherwise your eyes may bleed. You should know that I could go on forever, but I'm just going to shorten it down to the worst movie ever viewed by me.
That reminds me, don't you hate it when you start viewing a movie that you know is terrible from the very beginning, but it still deeply hypnotises you into wanting to watch the whole thing? I know I do, I hate not just being able to switch it off and watch some 'My Name is Earl'.

Worst Movie Ever:

Millions

NEVER watch this movie. Avoid it all costs, even by painting your eyeballs black. I've watched it only once before, but it haunts my dreams and transforms them into horrific nightmares. No, this isn't a horror movie or whatever, but it might aswell be.

The Beginning

The beginning seems to make the movie feel fairly average, something for your kids to watch. They might find it pretty funny, which is good, so I recommend that this is the ONLY part of the film that you dare watch. After that, switch off your TV and never watch it EVER again.
Yeah, there isn't much more to explain about the beginning, I won't give away the storyline or whatever because after this it makes no sense and sucks. That last point brings me over to the next point in the movie.

The Rest

Yeah, I decided to write up a description about the rest in one section due to it sucking so hard that I cried myself to sleep. After that, many events occur all relating to getting a load of cash and then being visited by RANDOM SAINTS. Yes, random saints, visiting the boy for absolutely no reason. It reminds me of Scrooge, except it's a complete fail of random stuff. I have no idea if he's just some schizophrenic christian who hallucinates about saints or whatever, and I don't plan to do research into finding out about this. Then, to every single saint he asks repeatedly: "Do you know my mum she's up there too." What the hell? I think he thinks that she is a saint to or whatever. It's just an immensely huge complicated mess.

Conclusion

Watch it and pay a price, it's a terrible movie.

Hamsalad
03-02-2009, 09:14 PM
if this thread can be used for shows too? then I would say "Dead Like Me".

I reccommend my friend and I watch the office but he wanted to check out Dead Like Me. For some reason he liked it but I just thought it had a pretty crappy plot that didn't hook me what soever, I was perfectly fine not watching another episode after watching the second (the second recaps everything from the first)

the humor was completely dry and not really funny at all, and there were a lot of illogical things i think that popped up that bugged me. Also the begining to the second she recaps that shes dead and a grim reaper like 10x.....I just finally said "ok I got it" . You can't even call it beating a dead horse it was worse than that, that alone almost turned me off right away.

but I know watching LOST I was hooked right away after every episode I was hungry for the next this show is just really lack luster and this car explosion special effect was laughable. It drove off a cliff and it shows this cheesy mini-nuke explosion

Teebonesy
03-02-2009, 11:01 PM
Honestly this movie fascinates me, and although parts of it are completely ridiculous I really liked it. Yeah it's a complete mess, but not in a bad way...
Honestly, all I can say for this movie is that when the credits hit I was grinning my *** off.

One of the things that killed me so much about Southland Tales is that it has these poignant, powerful moments. There are a few beautiful, indelible images, and every now and then it becomes this strange tone poem, and the whole thing paints a picture of America as it is right now, but on the brink of apocalypse, and not a nuclear one. There isn't a sense of a doomsday clock ticking down, it's much, much stranger. The movie has SO much potential, and so many ideas. But everything collides in a mesmerizing cacophony of epic failure.

Richard Kelly's next movie is going to be a crowd-pleasing Twilight Zone adaptation. Can't say I'm surprised - I'd want to make something accessible after Southland Tales too.

LuckyShot
03-03-2009, 08:23 PM
Worst follow up movie ever
Transporter 2
Could not believe how bad this movie was, when the first one was so good (for a guy movie - not like academy award top 10 ever good)... blew my mind the fall off between the two.

muttjones
03-05-2009, 05:18 AM
If anyone goes to see "The Spirit" please don't be too ashamed to post here. Take this as a warning. :)

why? i thought it was fantastic.

mrjoeyman
03-05-2009, 12:47 PM
why? i thought it was fantastic.

Samuel Jackson would give you a big hug if he were here :p

pembo
03-08-2009, 04:10 PM
MAMA MIA based on the Abba musical. My wife is watching it right now. Please kill me now and end this misery

Boogaloo
03-08-2009, 04:37 PM
MAMA MIA based on the Abba musical. My wife is watching it right now. Please kill me now and end this misery

LOL!!!

I watched Ultraviolet earlier. No amount of ganja made it watchable. Seriously. Worst. Sci-fi. Ever. And that's saying something.

moleynator
03-08-2009, 04:41 PM
Eragon. It doesnt follow the story at all! Its all wrong...

Bumblebee__
03-08-2009, 05:11 PM
The Happening... one of the worst movies I've seen :(

qrtda235566
03-09-2009, 02:13 AM
The Happening... one of the worst movies I've seen :(

I actually liked the happening! However I've found I like just about every movie everyone else hates, including Cloverfield and Max Payne.

flakmagnet
03-09-2009, 08:21 AM
MAMA MIA based on the Abba musical. My wife is watching it right now. Please kill me now and end this misery

Seconded. Thirded. Fourthed. And so on to infinity. Worst film I've had to sit through in years:

Awful source music
Awful singing of the awful music
An inane plot
Idiotic, completely unlikable characters
Pointless plot twist that made little to no sense

What's to love?

Morrinn3
03-11-2009, 05:19 AM
I watched Ultraviolet earlier. No amount of ganja made it watchable. Seriously. Worst. Sci-fi. Ever. And that's saying something.

I disagree good sir! Me and a few mates got this film for the express purpose to rip on it and we had a blast...
We had to stop and replay a specific scene five or four times, laughing our butts off. (A specific bullet-dodging shootout scene)

As for the Happening, I did like it. I can totally understand why some people would hate it though.

And I love Dead Like Me. Curse showtime for cancelling it...

Hamsalad
03-11-2009, 05:36 PM
I disagree good sir! Me and a few mates got this film for the express purpose to rip on it and we had a blast...
We had to stop and replay a specific scene five or four times, laughing our butts off. (A specific bullet-dodging shootout scene)

As for the Happening, I did like it. I can totally understand why some people would hate it though.

And I love Dead Like Me. Curse showtime for cancelling it...

Ya like I said my friend like Dead like Me....I just thought the plot was extremely lacking and the characters weren't really even that likeable the humor was pretty dry... I just didn't get sucked into it like I would like a show like Lost.....and the whole intro thing were she beats it into your head that she's a grim reaper she says it like 10x...oh well

Walter-Kovacs
03-11-2009, 06:06 PM
And I love Dead Like Me. Curse showtime for cancelling it...

I liked Dead Like Me too, I heard that they were making a movie or something, was that in this thread?(I'm too lazy to go back and look.)

To add to the list of terrible movies: Night at the Museum

Hamsalad
03-11-2009, 06:11 PM
Ya i would agree I regrettably saw that in the threatres a long time ago..

Zwollie
03-11-2009, 08:26 PM
The Pink Panther films with Steve Martin.

Love the classics, hate the new version.

Morrinn3
03-13-2009, 12:09 AM
I liked Dead Like Me too, I heard that they were making a movie or something, was that in this thread?

Yeah, they made a movie to tie off the cliffhanger ending from the second season, but that movie certainly deserves a spot in this thread.
It was rushed, lacked several of the main cast and had stand-ins for some of the other characters.
The whole thing had a pretty bad storyline and it really didn't succeed in tying off the loose ends at all.


To add to the list of terrible movies: Night at the Museum

I was covering shifts at a local movie theater as a projectionist, showing this movie and several others, so I've seen it about... Oh, say hundred and fifty times or so.
Cinema gig's can be awesome, but sometimes you are subjected to horrendous piece of cinema...

Zommy
03-13-2009, 12:16 AM
i would say that new film which is supposably the besst film ever where some indian wins who wants to be a millionaire... if i wanted to see who wants to be a millionaire i would watch the show and laugh at them fail the easy questions after using all 3 life lines on the same question...


slum dog millionaire...