Various Nonsensicals

When I say gelatin dessert, I am referring to what, at least in the U.S, we call “jello.” Let’s not call it that in order to help prevent the further degradation of Jell-O’s trademark into a generic name.
(I wonder how long this plan will last.)

This picture might come in handy later.

Basically, it’s little cups or bowls of colored sugary goo made at home simply by adding water to powder followed by chilling it in the refrigerator. Or alternatively, just buy them premade and enjoy all the sooner.

It is simple, sweet, soft, a little bouncy, and can be layered. What’s not to like?

Well, standard jello (not long at all), while a decent enough treat, is boring.

“Oh boy, jello, just like the hospital makes. Can’t get enough of that.”

Jello has all of the excitement you can expect of sugar turned into a gelatinous mass of stuff. Yeah, it jiggles and can come in pretty colors, but that’s about it. Or is it?

Apparently not.

Some people add fruits and vegetables to their jello in order to add some variety or attempt to make it healthier.

Does it work?

“No matter how much it jiggles, the broccoli stays in place!”

Well, whatever you’re adding is still completely contained by said mass of goop, so any health benefits gained from the extra two bites of saiyan names are pretty much overshadowed by the free type II diabetes in each serving.

There is however, something to be said for getting kids to eat more fruits and veggies by putting it in a treat. It’s like the old mix peas with mashed potatoes trick. You know what? Nobody is fooled. That doesn’t make peas better, it makes the potatoes worse!

Potatoes, boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew, not add peas and make your kids blue.

Wait, jell…er gelat-oh forget it.

In the case of jello, it’s not a matter of disliking fruits or vegetables. Hell, I love fresh broccoli. The issue isn’t so much ruining a good product with an inferior one, but making two decent products less good by combining them (less good, me talk English with sophistication).

Part of jello’s thing is that it’s smooth and doesn’t have to be chewed much or at all. Just drink the dang thing before it even solidifies (It’ll be just like juice then. More health benefits). Likewise, I like fruits and vegetables without bits of jello sticking all over them. Placing one in the other completely nullifies both of these preferences. Don’t get me wrong, I still like the dessert in this form just fine. But you know what’s a perfectly serviceable snack? A bowl of jello and a separate serving of your favorite fruit.

So should nothing be added to jello? Is there no hope? Well getting to the point. Ice Cream.

Yum.

But wait! Doesn’t it change the consistency? Doesn’t that ruin the ice cream? The answer to the first is yes. The answer to the second varies.

Normally, to make jello, you boil water, mix it with the powder, and then add cold water before chilling it. In the case of ice cream jello, there is no cold-water stage. Instead, you mix in a different, more delicious treat. The ice cream melts (again, yum), and swirls into the liquid. It then solidifies blended with the gelatinous mold.

In my experience, this results in a two-layer setting. The top generally has a kind of spongy texture to it. The thickness of this layer depends on the amount of ice cream added to a given amount of basic gelatin. The second layer is much more jello-like, but somewhat firmer.

This is my favorite form of the dessert. While it changes the consistency, I feel it does so for the better, as well as offers a greater level of sweetness. It is much more interesting, and requires barely any more preparation.

What of the ice cream sacrificed to make this delicious treat? Well, depending on your preferences, it might be better to just have the ice cream by itself. This is just an alternative. I generally prefer to use base vanilla or maybe a sherbet to keep from wasting one of the special flavors. I also don’t like finding specks of stuff in the jello along with the ice cream, such as chocolate shavings or the like. The simpler the ice cream, the better. It turns an ok if boring childhood snack into a less boring, two-toned (that’s twice as many tones per flavor), thing.

For simplicities sake, and because Holy Poop I’ve been typing about jello for how long? I am going to cut off here and ignore the more elaborate desserts involving things like marshmallows, whipped cream, and so on. In general, these tend to be overly sweet and complicated in my opinion, even compared to ice cream jello. They’re not bad, but the gamete they run varies more than the others do so I’m going to skip them. Also, jello shots are a thing.

Laziness. It’s why I make jello instead of real food.


In conclusion, the rankings are as follows,

1. Ice Cream Jello
2. Regular Jello
3. Jello with Fruit Inside

What are your favorite forms of jello? Do you like it at all? Feel free to include any of the forms I skipped. Assuming you read this far of course. 

Later all.