The Accidental Astronomer

The Accidental Astronomer by oats-beef
">" align="left" />When you head up high into the mountains, you find a very disgruntled astronomer who begs you to do something about the factory that's spewing out soot and blotting out the stars! You have to use all sorts of vehicles and contraptions to get to the bottom of it.


I have learned much from reading these forums and hearing tips and criticisms, I think I have improved my skills! So here is my new level. I am looking for feedback on how to improve it.

The cable car that takes you high in to the mountains:
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...n/APhoto_1.jpg
The Mountain-Top Observatory:
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...n/APhoto_2.jpg
Cloud-Top Railway:
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...eamcaboose.jpg
A Perilous Crossing:
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...mycrossing.jpg
The Giant Hurling Machine:
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...readytofly.jpg
Escape to Safety!
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...ettosafety.jpg

Now the unfortunate bit: given the sorry state of LBP's search engine, in order to find this level, you'll have to let me know you are interested - and I will comment on your level. You can then find it through the link on your comments. So you'll get a little bit of feedback even before you do any work at all! Then I will do what I can to help you with the level you are interested in reworking.

Alright! Let me have it!

~ oats-beef

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Full disclosure: This level is really my second attempt at publishing my first level... The original beginning just didn't do the end justice (and it was difficult enough that nobody saw the end away), so I reworked everything about the first half, smoothed out countless bits of everything else, and published the whole shebang under a new name. That's why some of these images may appear familiar to a few of you.

I have to admit the premise does interest me - I probably wouldn't be able to get around to trying it until later tonight though if even today.

My goodness, Jagrevi, what have I gotten myself in to!? Your level, Amä Toor, is nothing short of astounding. I am stunned and more than a little humbled. I am wracking my brains to come up with some tiny thing that could be improved... I got nuthin' so far. I am going to have to go play it again now. :) I did leave a comment so that if you have a moment to check mine out, then you could find it that way.

In the meantime, I suppose I had best get to figuring out how you accomplished such wonderful things!

all the best,
~oats-beef

Looks amazing! Just a little problem though..
I searched for it and couldn't find it..
I also tried your name with no luck..

If you want add me, or leave a comment somewhere so I can find you.
can't wait to play it!

Javi, I came across a couple of your levels just last week and was totally hooked. Just now I left a comment on 'Descent 2'. Do you have anything that is less polished that could still use some serious investigation and feedback?

!!

~ oats-beef

I found the level by going to the comments on Jagrevi's level.

The entrance to the factory needs to be fixed. It's hard to drop into and I missed it a few times when I was walking around trying to figure out what to do. Also the balance obstacle. Jumping up stairs in LBP isn't fun and I had to retry quite a few times to get across and the camera angle was a not so good. I almost bailed on the level there. Could you put the checkpoint up on the platform it would be a little better. Also put a checkpoint right after this part, I would not want to retry it and I almost got squished by the bridge. You should probably tell us in the level or desciption to turn on prizes so we don't have to restart if we take the sticker first. Or use a regular sticker.

You have some stuff working for you here: I like tuning the telescope, the variety of means of transport and the trebuchet. The level opens well and have the components of a great level but ends up feeling underwhelming, maybe becuase of all the amazing levels I've played lately. I like the new title.

Hey, this certainly has me interested. I'l check it out later.

Thanks for the tips, Kipmonlin!

I have just gone through and reorganized the checkpoints, added a bit to the description so that people know they need to collect a sticker for a ticket later one (until I can sort out a better solution), and I have reshaped the entrance to the caves so that it's much easier to fall in there.

Now I am off to try yours!

~ oats-beef

hi oats-beef.

i tried your level and here are some comments i had.

i really liked the sailboat, trebuchet, and train. the puffs of smoke from the train were a nice touch. as was the water and lighting with the sailboat scene.

it would help to make the level more visually impressive at the beginning by adding detail to the mountains, instead of just being triangles. it would be more interesting to have irregular shapes and a variety of materials here.

the bulldozer in the factory was nice, but would be more interesting if there were sounds effects when the boulders are being moved/destroyed.

when i first met the astronomer, there was a conversation bubble, but i immediately fell to the bottom of the observatory, so i did not get a chance to read what he said. it would help to make it so that does not happen.

when you are jumping down to the lake, instead of posting a sign to tell people where to jump, you could add very thin invisible anti-grav material to "funnel" players to the right location. it is hard to make such a long piece stay invisible, but if you break it up into sections, it can work.

i got squished by the drawbridge. maybe you could make it so the player pulls a switch that is out of the way to make it drop?

there are several places throughout the level instructing the player on what to do. i think it could be more interesting if instead of just signs, they are characters dispensing the instructions - like a train operator, trebuchet operator, etc.

anyway, just some thoughts. hope they were helpful. gave it :star::star::star::star: and a "good".

please try out my level "Dog Bone Mystery". thanks!

Hey pennydog,
thanks for all the excellent suggestions! Really good. I am painstakingly going through, taking everything you said in to account - sprucing things up, and changing some things I have had misgivings about from the beginning. I managed to break the level in the process, sadly, but I can rebuild it, I have the technology...

This evening I will republish the thing and give your level as thorough a consideration as you did mine.

Thanks again!

~ oats-beef

A new build?

I should probably wait and play the new build than before giving any feedback.

oh no! sorry your level broke. that can be very frustrating. the other day i spent a whole afternoon making changes to my level. i was sure i saved it and shut down normally, but the next day i reopened it and everything i did was gone! all that time down the drain.....

anyway, good luck rebuilding. i'll be sure to check it out after your edits.

In attempting to reshape the mountains in the intro, I managed to wreak utter havoc, sending the level into overheat and breaking nearly everything... I have spent the last couple days alternating between panic, hopeful optimism, and resigned attention to detail. But it has been reborn a far better level (in my opinion) and republished for all to play.

Giant portions of the level have now been rebuilt largely from scratch. As I was working in the mountains, I found that you could get a nice-looking effect by sculpting the shape of the rock to match the pattern of the material itself.

See what I mean in this before and after shot:

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...everything.jpg

This, of course, had a domino effect that made me spend countless hours reshaping every peak in the mountain range... and then all stone structures in the whole level. In addition to reshaping everything, I have made a metric ton of other changes, including replacing all the annoying stairs with curved wooden spans, making the tunnel-boring machine actually bore a tunnel through the rock, I have also now included a big red button you can press if the trebuchet breaks - the current one is dissolved and a new one appears from thin air (I finally figured out how to use an emitter to replace an object!). The stormy sailboat crossing is now 100% stormier, with complex lighting effects and emitted lighting bolts built of electrified metal and numerous searchlights in a forked pattern. It seems awfully exciting now!

I have play-tested this new build as much as I can on my own and sleep deprivation allows, but as it's fairly new and we all tend to play our own levels in certain fixed patterns, it's hard to know what needs tweaking. So now I need some outside help.

Tonight I will have time to carefully go through other levels that need feedback!

Deepest thanks to all who have helped me with suggestions - I do hope you enjoy the new version,

~ oats-beef

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to find this level, try looking for one of my comments in Javi Haguse's 'Descent 2' or Jagrevi's 'Amä Toor'
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I've just tried searching for @oats-beef, it could'nt find any results????

It's convoluted, I am one of those unlucky saps whose levels cannot be found via search. You'll have to find one of my comments - recently on Javi Haguse's 'Descent 2' and Jagrevi's 'Amä Toor' - and get to the level that way.

Still interested? I'll check out yours this evening

~ oats-beef

While you're at it, leave a comment on any one of my levels as well and I'll check it out. Just let me know which one you commented on.

I'm really astounded by the level at which you are using the feedback and continue to improve your level. I'll gladly check it out and help with the process :).

....or I could just look at any of the other level comments you've made.

Found it through jagrevi's comments. I'm playing now......

+ I was reading your post about editing rocks around the texture, and it looks really good.
+ Great lighting, and the clouds coming past look excellent to.
+ Nice little dish puzzle
+ I really like the rocks in the foreground and background, it adds excellent depth.
+ Nice train
+ I liked the boat, the water and the lightining in the background.
+ Trebuchet was a great idea, a little fiddly at first, but I got there in the end.
+ Factory looks FANTASTIC. Great lighting and details.
+ You really love your vehicles, and they are all great fun to ride in.

- I'm not keen on the flat black/white background. Because the rest of the visuals are very good, it sticks out a little. Would the wilderness background not fit?
- The drilling machine got stuck, I managed to get under the rocks though and continue. NVM, I take it thats meant to happen ;)
- You need more direction at the boiler room, before the rocket. I wasn't sure what to do there, perhaps a magic mouth to explain, and something to stop you getting in the rocket until the puzzles done, I was confused as to why the rocket would only fly so high, so just went back and randomly flicked the switches until I got the message.

I enjoyed the level, the visuals were great, and the vehicles superb. I would think about adding a background in, it looks a little strange without one in my opinion.

***** and hearted.

It appears I have reached a point where I now cannot finish the level - which is ashame since I was going for high score.

The part where you drive the vehicle through the debris. The vehicle has now hit an overhang and cannot proceed. However, there is still debris preventing me from progressing, and the debris appears to be wedged in a very small opening I need to go down, so I can't pull it out either.

Oh my, what a bunch of great suggestions, and I can handle them tonight! All apologies for those having difficulties with the tunnel-borer.. it was the very last thing added and I guess I didn't work out all the kinks quite yet. Moving it backwards and forwards can help - and I just realized one of the things I meant to do was to change the direction of the grinder teeth along with the drive wheels - that should help to get it unstuck when it hangs like that.

Ok more tonight, thanks again to all who have helped thus far, I will respond in kind for everyone.

~oats-beef

Quote:

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Originally Posted by comphermc

While you're at it, leave a comment on any one of my levels as well and I'll check it out. Just let me know which one you commented on.

I'm really astounded by the level at which you are using the feedback and continue to improve your level. I'll gladly check it out and help with the process :).

....or I could just look at any of the other level comments you've made.

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It was the last level I played, and I hearted it so it will be on my list.