The Circus Of Evil

The Circus Of Evil by HydraulicWaRiOr
youre strolling along when youre all of a sudden invited into a circus. little did you know something was wrong. something isnt right about bonzo.........................


i worked really hard on this level with swweet but i really need tips on any finishing touches that dont involve making more of the level. were already going to add a chase scene and a few other things but i need tips on whats already there. good comments would be nice and say honestly what you think about my level, and somethings that would be helpful,dont just say "you suck" or "this level stinks i hope you die" ive gotten to many of those before i made a lot of changes to it. please no false hope either i dont want to feel cruddy the day i finish my level :kz:

I'll give it a look mate.

PS. Your Post could be a little more positive couldn't it?

Ok I just played this for you :)

I will look at this level from 2 points of view.

view 1:

as a casual LBP player I would say this level is a pretty good attempt at creating an own unique level. It has some nice characters and contraptions.

view 2:

as a professional reviewer of levels I would say this level needs work.
I really liked the clown characters and the circus background, but I feel you need to dress up your level a lot more.

For example: the long walk before you get to the circus, add some a bench or 2, some more trees, bushes, a parked car etc... it all feels a bit empty. The same can be said about the interior of the circus. You just put some characters in there and there's not much too see besides that. Add a place where people can sit to see the show, add more lighting effects, colourful lights, circus atributes (trapezia, chairs, poles, hoops, search google for circus attributes). The actual story and gameplay is pretty nice, only 1 complaint at the gameplay part. The rotating wheels are a pain in the *** to get by. This part is way too difficult and had me to give up and quit the level. I suggest making the wheels rotate a bit slower so it's easier to get past this point. Also, because your characters are so big, put a camera view onto them so you can see the whole character. Most of the time I'm looking at a torso without a head :)

Now, this might seem like I'm beeing negative but I just want to help you out by giving constructive feedback.

The level shows a lot of promise but needs some more work to fine tune the gameplay and improve the visuals.

You're on the right track however so please let me know when you have improved it and I will review this for you in my review topic on this forum.

For FEEDBACK 4 FEEDBACK please give your opinion on my level sol invictus: search for the fountain of youth.

psn id: freddykrugerfred

thanks in advance !

Alright. Hi Hydraulic : )!

Played your level and just want to give you a rundown of my initial impressions. What worked, and what did not.

I like the idea of an evil circus thats being controlled by one particular evil clown - Bonzo.

He comes of great, and the dialogue is, for the most parts, actually pretty good. I enjoyed following the story and his evil scheme. Good job on that one. Loved the guy who "had an accident" - made me chuckle hehe : )

I can already see that you've taken the stuff Nightwing said into consideration and added the benches, the broken car, the crowd and the firerings - good stuff! It all helps.

You've also added the big fire blocks in the foreground at the swing section (right after the inciddent guy) - Make sure they're not blocking for the players view. I couldn't see where the platform was, but that's easily fixed.

The cog part is also slowed down, which is a good thing. It didn't work before, but it's much better now. However, I can't help but notice the floating dark matter where the checkpoint is (and behind the coqs). Why not make a trapeze instead, to spice the whole circus theme up? Dark matter doesn't look good for platforms, and should generally not be shown to the player.

Finally we have the last fight. It's ok, but I kinda lack the feeling of control in it to be honest. It feels a bit "random" and I ended up shooting him from out of sight on the platform. Would probably slow the arms down, and cut his life points down to half of what it is now... He takes a LOT of hits to kill, and he slaughters you in mere seconds down there.

I like the characters and as said before, the dialog. Bonzo looks like an ugly clown - great design. There's a pretty good pace in the level. Add some arrows here and there by the way - there are points in the level where you have to jump out of the picture to advance, help the players with arrows - or else "they're just taking the chance".

All in all a pretty good level that's still needs some touches here and there (it's getting better - played it before you made the changes aswell), but im sure you'll get those down :) It's much more playable and enjoyable now. It's a bit dark (It's an evil circus, i know), but maybe consider tuning up the light just a slight bit.

Anyways, good job. Keep it up.

Gonna give you :star::star::star: and a heart.

Feel free to check out my level Temple of the Sun for Feedback 4 Feedback.

Don't worry about F4F, the only level I have up for F4F isn't even published.

The intro to this level isn't that good to be honest. You should probably start somewhere off the level, maybe in a dark matter block behind a block of dissolve (like you have, but so that you can't see outside of it) with a delay switch that sets off a checkpoint and a block of gas on a piston that kills you and puts you at the beginning of the level? Also, your terrain shouldn't be so rough - nothing is like that in real life. You also use too many periods in your sentences. I know you put pauses with periods, but you don't need 5 every sentence, just one. The whole thing, at the moment, is a bit messy. I can tell you didn't use the grid for this, and it may be a good idea to start doing that to make things a bit simpler.
I just walked left and I saw a block of dissolve. What the heck's this for? And the grave also seems a bit pointless, unless we're in a grave yard, which seems unlikely by the turned over and unrealistic truck. Maybe look up some references and model your truck after that?
That clown is freaking creepy. Good job making him, though you may want to change the wobble bolt's settings so that his arms and head are moving a bit smother and a bit, well, less. They're kind of flailing at the moment. Also, why is there a cloud three inches above the ground? The lighting, I presume, also isn't very visible... You may want to make it come down a bit lower?
The entrance to the big tent isn't that interesting. It's also kind of hard to see. You might want to put a camera there so it's easier to see.
I'm at the obstacle course and it's pretty lame. First off, things could be synchronized a lot better with the sponges on winches, it was pretty hard to get up and swing across. As for the motorcycle, try not to use the objects that MediaMolecule provide you with. Try making your own motorcycle using the design of the the Mm motorcycle, that way you can learn how it works and eventually make some really cool, complex things, sort of like the collector boss.
Just got past the cogs. You could make it a bit more apparent that you're supposed to jump down. And the motorcycle with the jet... That was weird. What just happened? All I saw were a couple of explosions and then the motorcycle stopped.
The Bonzo boss is also exceptionally strange. You could, again, make it clearer that you have to jump down. And on the design of him, I could have sworn he had a body, but maybe I'm delusional? He also shouldn't have been made out of dissolve. You can just make him disappear by setting the paintinator switch to one-shot and connecting it to a brain on him.
Overall, I'd say the level deserves 3 stars at the most. It's rather mediocre and pretty messy. The whole thing needs a LOT of polishing and it has it's fair share of rough edges, but it was entertaining. The plot was good in concept, but wasn't pulled off too well. Really what you need to pull off something like this, in my opinion, is a cut-scene. However, I can tell that. from the logic you used in this level, you're not ready for something that advanced. The obstacle courses were OK, but needed to be tweaked, if anything, just for functionality.
:star::star::star:, no heart.
Good luck with your creating ventures, and have fun in the world of LBP.

Everyone here has covered everything I could see so far. So... I'll just say what I liked about it.
I liked the motorcycle part.

I like how you dim the lighting for certain events to give it a spotlight type of look.

Near the end where you are swinging on the red circles looks really good, even if we have seen that type of playing style over and over again.

:)

Don't worry about giving me feedback. If you want to than it's up to you. I just told you what I liked about it. Good luck!

wow thanks for making me feel bad guys i think im just going to go and lie down for a while and think about how much you guys have ruined my self-esteem.

dude. Don't take all of these posts the wrong way. Make some changes on your level if you want to. It's just criticism and it's constructive. With practice you'll get better. All it takes is some patience.

:)

No hard feelings, learn from this and apply what you learn in future levels. What's that quote from Thomas Edison? "I didn't fail 1000 times, I have found 1000 ways that didn't work."

So just keep praticing and developing. It's the only way to get better. And remember... people are just people. Don't hit yourself over it.

I see potential, and I know that you can get better. Believe in yourself.

i dont WANT it to get better in the future i want it to get better now. you guys are all demanding with your polish this and that and with your stupid "logic" , dont you guys understand that all your logic pack crap is too hard to remember? screw logic! i dont care! if you guys want me to make the best truck in the freaking world then show me the best truck in the freaking world! dont be so expectant of me im not steve_big_ guns or fijski8, im just some crappy creator whos been on lbp since april and ive barely been on the forum for one week. im not going to be the best. never have never will. and besides swweets supposed to be my partner for the create contest. if youre going to tell someone to use logic then tell his lazy *** or if you just think i suck then why dont you do it! and the last guy that talked, you dont have to be so dang sarcastic if you think i suck then tell me i suck dont tell me a quote from some guy 100 years ago that stole the ideas from his fellow scientists and then fired them.

I have no idea what you're talking bout' in the above post, but anyways, It's called criticism ... expect it - especially when you ask for people to give their honest opinion in your first post.

Noones flat-out said "your level suck". We've all tried to give you an honest view on it, and told you what you could do to improve it. We're not here to create or shape the level for you, but to give you ideas and tips you can use to improve what you've chosen to present for us.

Hey, HydraulicWaRiOr. First of all, welcome to the forums. I've read through the thread and think you've misunderstood the intentions of some of the members here. They are in no way trying to bring you down. In your initial post, you asked for constructive feedback, things to make the level better. It appears that they've done their best to acquiesce to that request. There's not much sense asking for the feedback if you aren't going to use it to grow as a creator. This is especially true since you've opted for F4F, which is feedback for feedback.

As for your statement about wanting to get better now, you have to understand that creating is a process. It's not something you can become instantly better at by hearing the right advice. You have to learn things on your own, gaining advice from others in the community, and grow over time. When I first started playing LBP, I was a terrible creator - I had the ideas, but not the talent at using the tools. These talents will only improve as you continue to play and whatnot.

Part of this growth, though, it being able to take constructive criticism from others. The community here at Little Big Planet Central is generally positive, and our members do not intend to cause harm. If they tell you something candidly about your level, it's not to bring you down, but to benefit you as a creator. In that sense, please don't become rude to other members. If you can't take the criticism, don't ask for it in the first place. That said, you reserve the right to ignore anything that anyone says, but please don't be rude or bitter about it. That's not what LBPC is all about.

Also, I wouldn't be too upset if you were to not win the contest. There are for more people who will not win than those who will win. If you don't strive to be the best creator you can be (as your above post suggests), then you have to ask yourself why it is that you create levels. I'm not being rude, nor do I have the answer to that question, but it's something to seriously think about.

Are we cooling down?

you dont understand though. ive been playing for almost a year now. nothings changed since then, and nothings going to

Well, you said it yourself that you've only been on the forums a week. Maybe after some time here, you can learn some new tips and tricks. You can start by looking at some of the criticism above and see if you can use it to make your level better. After all, you asked for them to offer helpful suggestions, not just false hope, and that's what they did. If you have any questions about logic or anything of that nature, you can also ask for help in the Help! section. There are a lot of members who love to help out others.

I haven't tried your level yet, but I'll try and give it a go tomorrow. It sounds pretty interesting.

Woah, i'll just interupt quickly by saying that people don't just get better overnight. These things take time. I'll check out this level.

I think everyone so far has been honest, fair, and friendly in the analysis of your level. Anything worth doing is worth getting better at, am I right? If you agree, then go over what people said and use it to make your level better. Not only will your level get better, you'll learn more about making LittleBigPlanet levels and your levels in the future will benefit.

That said, the whole point of our F4F system is based around the idea of trading criticism in order to mutually improve. If having someone point out the faults in your level bothers you that much, then maybe posting your levels on LBPCentral isn't a good idea. Are they trying to make you feel like a bad creator, or are they trying to show you ways to improve your skills? In the end, the answer to that question relies solely on your perception, so whether or not you can benefit from LBPCentral is totally up to you.

ok i took their advice and added logic but its too hard to replace the Mm motorcycle swweet just cant get it right some how, i dont know whats wrong but, again we almost made it perfect when he said the 3 worst words in history-got to go