The Vending Machine Game

I get metal nails out.

But I can't use the nails, since I dropped my hammer into the vending machine.

I get an old blacksmith from the machine, he hit me with great strength when I was carrying him and ran away.

Half dead I fell inside the machine.

I get a mangled up, dead version of you.

I burn you and put your ashes in the vending machine. (Why am I always so morbid?)

I pick reborn me up from the machine. (What?)

I throw an Unopened Letter of Fate inside the machine.

Everyone I love dies in a slow, horribly painful way. (That should brighten my day.)

I throw your tool's bag into the vending machine.

Sadness is brought to TenebrisNemo's tool, whose bag you throwed in there. Also, snails.

I vomit blood-soaked cockroaches into the vending machine...

I get blood-soaked cockroaches back out. Who would'a thunk?

i put delusions of grandeur into the vending machine.

I get the idea that I'm the leader of the world.

As such, I decide to put my wallet in the machine. A leader of the world doesn't need to pay.

You get a pig-load of coke (you decide what kind). Seriously, a pig full of coke, because the leader of the men are all pigs.

I put tentacles, scorched baby bones and sulfur into the vending machine.

I get MLP comic books from the machine.

I make my slaves eat them then I burn the slaves and their children and then I make Undead Dragon eat the ashes and then I crush Undead Dragon by force magic into atoms and then I re-arrange the atoms and electrons so they becomes gold.

I put a gold bar inside the machine.

It's worth so much that you get all the candy out of it.

You eat it all, but you get sick and vomit into the vending machine.

I get a a bar chocolate with a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

I eat the chocolate and throw everything else inside the machine, not noticing the ticket. I also throw The Cutest thing in the universe.

I get the murderous Zombie Wonka from the machine. Beware, children, it's murder time! The Cutest thing materializes as a pink ribbon on the Zombie Wonka's left eyeball.

I put the decapitated heads of thirteen black kittens into the machine.

A bad-luck-causing demon comes out and follows you for eternity.

This horrible luck causes you to lose an arm, and I throw that into the vending machine.

I get nothing. You did say you had to pay an arm and a leg to get anything from it!

I throw a venomous spider into the vending machine.

I get Nicki Minaj, which I burn into ashes.

I put the ashes into a silver skull and then I throw the skull into the machine.

I get one copy of Nicki Minaj's new single on disc, which causes me to immediately contact the Lords of the Dark Below to help me destroy it.

I put sacrificial dagger into the machine, forged of the flesh and bone of the Forgotten Gods with the power to destroy the Host of Heavens.

I get the Universal Dice. I roll it and at the moment when it stops, it's mark on the top starts to shine and I'm starting to feel confused. I pass away and I woke up, sitting on the throne of heavens.

Terrified, I magically enchanted the heaven folk inside a golden medallion and I throw it inside the machine.

I get out a chocolate coin.

I roll a bowling ball into the vending machine.

I get a license to a bowling alley, which I trade for 8 tickets to Vegas.

I slather 4 of the tickets in Tabasco sauce and throw them all into the vending machine, along with a Nikki Minaj album.