The Vending Machine Game

I get Taylor Swift.

I put a pair of gym socks into the vending machine.

I get a sweaty, hulking version of the socks' owner.

I hold them up to the vending machine and their sweat drips down into it.

I get Holy Water.

I throw it to a Vampire, which burns into ashes. I trade ashes to a wine bottle with a hobo. I put the empty wine bottle inside the machine.

I get a full bottle of wine.

I decline the offer but instead put a bottle of soda into the vending machine.

You get a miniature Charybdis-pet which has the tendency to eat everything else in the aquarium.

I place a Great Sea Serpent into the machine...

I get a stereotypical Chinese painting out.

I put in the Olympic torch.

I get the ticket to Olympic Coliseum. (Yes!)

I put Boxing Cloves inside the machine.

I get boxing onions. Huh.

I peel them, and my tears fall into the vending machine.

Shrek jumps out of the machine.

I put a donkey-dragon abomination into the vending machine...

I get a baby donkey and a baby dragon.

I raise them and I have a mighty War Donkey and a Tank Dragon and I fight around the world with them. After many-many years, when the Donkey is too old to live, I bury him on a hill inside a forest. The dragon can't hold the burden of losing his lifetime partner, and he leaves this dimension and only a scale of him is the only memory I have of the Dragon and the Donkey.

I put the dragon scale inside the machine.

I get a weight-measuring scale.

I put the vending machine on the scale, weigh it, and put the number into the vending machine.

I get a calculator, which I use to calculate how many days I have left before my milk expires, and get a -26.

I am thereby inclined to throw the sour milk into the vending machine.

I get rotten flesh of a cow.

I make my completely white man-eating plant eat it. When I return to watch the plant, it has transformed into a seed.

I put the seed inside the machine.

I get a tree.

I would have cut it down, but I horribly mis-swung my axe and it landed in the vending machine.

I get LVL 1 Rusty Axe.

I sell it for 40 Copper Coins, and I buy some Elvish Wine with it. I put the full wine bottle inside the machine.

I get a drunkard out.

I mistakenly put an SD card in the coin slot of the vending machine.

I get error messages from the machine.

I try to make the machine work by hitting it, but then it gets crazy and started to suck random people inside of it. Once it stopped, I came out from my hiding place and walked away like nothing happened.

The people have tragically been turned into stickers.

I shoot a dart from a Nerf gun into the vending machine.

I get a foam bazooka.

I put a rabid amphibian squirrel with a French accent in the vending machine.

I get the new Nickelodeon show star.

I write TenebrisNemo a note and put it in the vending machine.