The Vending Machine Game

I take the note and read it carefully.

I throw a cake inside, as a thank

W00! Cake! :D
*Bam*
Eh, change that to: W00! Cake in my face. >_>

I throw a rare prize crown in teh machine.

I get widely popular!

I put in a clown.

I have a laugh with the clown.

I get myself in the machine

WTH, you? Now imma send you to The Void. :hehehe:
...
Dam, he got away while preparing my Void Gear ... >=C
I throw a bomb in out of anger.

I get bombed to death.
Luckily, I was next to an infinite checkpoint :p

I throw in another Mortal Kombat terri-bad level

I get the cool pages.

I take the "cool" out of "cool pages" (because they're clearly not), and throw it in the machine.

I get the MM Picks page.

I throw in an Emo costume level

I get a BETA Vest. :D
I throw a shotgun in.

I get shotgunned.

I throw in a robo-dog.

I get a robo-cat voice.
I throw it back in.

I get a scrapped cat.

I throw in the whole Victoria's Laboratory

I get Nys Labs.
I throw a speaker in le machine.

I hear your voice.

I throw in the beta of my pinball level.

I get a bag of chips. Oh, what's this taped to the back? A fully made pinball level. Sweeeeet.
I throw in an empty bag.

I obtain a bag full of empty. I captchalougue it into my sylladex.

I throw in a potato.

I get a GLaDOS Potatoe. D:
I mash it and throw it back in together with some salt.

I get mashed potatoes! With salt. Delicious.

I throw in a sandvich

I have the sandvich.

I throw in the ham of the sandvich.

I get ham, and some mustard. (?)
I throw a cooker in the machines belly, sure to hit someone on the head opun emerging from the machine again.

I dodge flawlessly the cooker like a boss.

I throw in a license to unban

I don't take it, unbanning is too mainstream /NysHipster
I throw et back in.

I pick it up again.

I throw in a ninja!

I get ninja'd (a.k.a. sniped)

I throw in Dormin.

I fall asleep.

I throw in my sig.

I get a mess of words.

I fire some rounds into the vending machine.

Thay retain their momentum (which is impossible, according to the Mythbusters) and kill me.

I put my PS3 into the vending machine.

I get a PS Vita (same thing practically).

Unamused, I throw it back into the machine.

I get a PS Vita 3D.

I throw in myself.

You are now an extra-human.

I throw my laptop into the vending machine.

I get HTML

I throw an ironic soda can in the machine.

I get an un-ironic soda can.

I throw in my new thread! :D

You get SPAM.

I throw in an anti-virus software

You get an anti-virus soda.

I throw in a time paradox.

I get out some Wibbly Wobbly timey-wimey stuff.

I throw in a deed to a house

I get the house's mortgage back.

I throw in Sackboy.

I get a very expensive sackboy doll.
I throw liquid text in the machine.

I get a liquid paragraph.

I throw in the Harry Potter Puppet Pals. (Don't ask me why, 'cause I don't know.)

You get the Justice Friends back.

I throw in a bikini.

... And I get a bikini. Woo! Bikini's FTW.
I throw a Sillinator in the machine.