The Vending Machine Game

I grab me some CDs.

I throw in Micheal Jackson.

Strangely I get a loaf of bread.

I throw in ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ.

I get a typewriter with the punctuation marks missing.

I toss a pig into the machine.

I happily receive bacon from the machine. I cook eggs and put the extras in the machine.

You get an angry chicken.

I throw in xero's BOSS avatar.

I get digital human flesh.
I throw in my Biology homework.

I get a male with "partner" tattooed on the chest. What am I supposed to do with that?

I throw in the Omega Orbus Stellar Manipulator...

I get something from the machine...but I'm not quite sure what it is.

I put some escargot in.

I take out an escapegoat. Dude claims he's from prison... and what? That's odd... he says his name is "xero".

I throw in the knife I plucked off of his belt.

I get a bottle of blood. Any vampires want this?

I throw in Ryan86me's BOSS avatar.

I get a spinning epic face.

I throw in ignited boost boots. (Lemme guess, flames come out of the machine and the next poster gets SCORCHED!)

I get LvL 100 Fire Ultimate Plate Leggings. (Might give these to some girl. :p)

I put in Ancient Spell Book with infinite pages.

I get a headache, accompanied by whispers of the long forgotten gods that lie dormant beneath the earth's crust. In their whispers they tell me things. Terrible, terrible things. Things that would drive anyone mad. And I listen. And I obey. I am their servant, for they do not live or die. They are outside the mortal cycle, to which we have been tied to through our prisons of flesh and bone. After the cycle ends for us, the city of the fallen moon will serve as our home, for their leathery tower is what awaits us. Shur'nabb, Yog-Sothoth!

I throw in a wrinkly dollar...

You get a wrinkly candy bar. (Gross...)

I throw in the meaning of life.

I get the number 42.

I put in the map of all worlds.

You get an egg.

I carefully place in a servant of the forgotten gods, because, when handling humans, one should be careful.

I get a pouch of ashes and goose bumps.

I put in a black plant which never existed.

I get out black oxygen, which also doesn't exist. I then proceed to breathe in that oxygen and die from it.

My dead body falls into the vending machine.

I get a yellow piece of paper with the words "Thank you" on it.

I sacrifice a human into the vending machine.

I get a hardcore like button for gods.

I put human nails into the machine.

I get metal nails out.

But I can't use the nails, since I dropped my hammer into the vending machine.

I get an old blacksmith from the machine, he hit me with great strength when I was carrying him and ran away.

Half dead I fell inside the machine.

I get a mangled up, dead version of you.

I burn you and put your ashes in the vending machine. (Why am I always so morbid?)

I pick reborn me up from the machine. (What?)

I throw an Unopened Letter of Fate inside the machine.

Everyone I love dies in a slow, horribly painful way. (That should brighten my day.)

I throw your tool's bag into the vending machine.

Sadness is brought to TenebrisNemo's tool, whose bag you throwed in there. Also, snails.

I vomit blood-soaked cockroaches into the vending machine...

I get blood-soaked cockroaches back out. Who would'a thunk?

i put delusions of grandeur into the vending machine.

I get the idea that I'm the leader of the world.

As such, I decide to put my wallet in the machine. A leader of the world doesn't need to pay.

You get a pig-load of coke (you decide what kind). Seriously, a pig full of coke, because the leader of the men are all pigs.

I put tentacles, scorched baby bones and sulfur into the vending machine.

I get MLP comic books from the machine.

I make my slaves eat them then I burn the slaves and their children and then I make Undead Dragon eat the ashes and then I crush Undead Dragon by force magic into atoms and then I re-arrange the atoms and electrons so they becomes gold.

I put a gold bar inside the machine.

It's worth so much that you get all the candy out of it.

You eat it all, but you get sick and vomit into the vending machine.

I get a a bar chocolate with a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

I eat the chocolate and throw everything else inside the machine, not noticing the ticket. I also throw The Cutest thing in the universe.

I get the murderous Zombie Wonka from the machine. Beware, children, it's murder time! The Cutest thing materializes as a pink ribbon on the Zombie Wonka's left eyeball.

I put the decapitated heads of thirteen black kittens into the machine.

A bad-luck-causing demon comes out and follows you for eternity.

This horrible luck causes you to lose an arm, and I throw that into the vending machine.

I get nothing. You did say you had to pay an arm and a leg to get anything from it!

I throw a venomous spider into the vending machine.

I get Nicki Minaj, which I burn into ashes.

I put the ashes into a silver skull and then I throw the skull into the machine.

I get one copy of Nicki Minaj's new single on disc, which causes me to immediately contact the Lords of the Dark Below to help me destroy it.

I put sacrificial dagger into the machine, forged of the flesh and bone of the Forgotten Gods with the power to destroy the Host of Heavens.

I get the Universal Dice. I roll it and at the moment when it stops, it's mark on the top starts to shine and I'm starting to feel confused. I pass away and I woke up, sitting on the throne of heavens.

Terrified, I magically enchanted the heaven folk inside a golden medallion and I throw it inside the machine.

I get out a chocolate coin.

I roll a bowling ball into the vending machine.

I get a license to a bowling alley, which I trade for 8 tickets to Vegas.

I slather 4 of the tickets in Tabasco sauce and throw them all into the vending machine, along with a Nikki Minaj album.