Corrupt Wishes

Granted, let me google it...................

I wish I Could hear Alyssa on my phone better

Granted, YOU ASPLODE

I wish i knew what Alyssa was...

Granted. Now to get her phone number...

I wish feelings weren't so drastic.

Granted. The concept of emotion is now gone, and the world is a much bleaker place.

I wish I was part Cyborg and was a total freak and everyone was afraid of me and I was a freak driven to insanity by the cruel world who could not comprehend my awesome cyborg stuff.

Granted. Out of your insanity, you accidentally initiate your "Self-Destruct" feature, making yourself explode with the velocity of an atom bomb. :p

I wish these clouds would stop teasing me and just rain already...

Granted, they go away and then a freak tornado destroys only your home.

I wish I could control all the sponges in the world.

Granted, but there are so many that you explode trying to control them all.

I wish I was a zombie king.

Granted, but they very quickly discover you're human and devour your brains.

I wish I could make whatever I wanted explode.

Granted, but you have anger management issues and blow up the whole world.

I wish I was a lombax.

Granted, but as you're working on a hover car, it falls on you, killing you instantly.

I wish I could hear anything from any distance but could control what I hear.

Granted, but people know when you're listening because they are speaking gibberish.

I wish for world peace and no hunger. Let's see you corrupt that!

Gladly... Granted, everyone is now a cannibal and they die of a strange disease caused by the cannibalism. The world is peaceful alright.

I wish Flamento would explode.

Granted, but I was right next to you, so you exploded too.

I wish for an iPad 2.

Granted, but it explodes with you.

I wish I could turn invisible for as long as I wanted whenever I wanted and couldn't get hurt.

Granted but you've played with invisibility so much that it jams and you're invisible forever.

I wish I was invincible.

Granted, but then the Earth esplodes ands yous in space forevas!!!

I wish I was .0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000001% weaker than Chuck Norris.

Granted, but self-esteem issues have Chuck Norris so he roundhouse kicked you into oblivion.

I wish I had a cheeseburger.

Granted, IT'S PEOPLE!!!

I wish I wasn't so tired... -_-

Granted, you're dead.

I wish I understood what you meant by; "IT'S PEOPLE!!!"

Granted, but in trying to grasp the meaning in it, your head implodes. =D (The burger was made from people. I was saying it like a "O..M..G!!!" kind of way)

I wish... ah hell, I'm going to sleep...