Corrupt Wishes

Granted, you forget them instantly.
I wish for "Numbah warZ"

Granted, NUMBER 336! plus you win the war, but then you take an arrow to the knee.

I wish that the guu behind me made a wish.

granted, He wished you would forget how to spell "guy" and would forever spell it "guu"

I wish my keyboard was edible

(sorry, I forgot)
Granted, but you don't like the taste.

I wish the floor would make me a sammich.

Granted, but the floor is dirty, and so is your sammich.

I wish that I had more motivation.

Granted, but it's motivation to commit suicide...

I wish for a cuddly cat.

granted, you become allergic to cuddly cats

I wish I had a large pizza

Granted, but before you can eat it the dentist pulls all your teeth.

I wish for a magic wand.

Granted, but you don't know any spells.

I wish my iPod wasn't 2G, so apple wouldn't abandon me.

Granted, now it's 0G(it's broke).

I wish for some Cheeze-Bowz to appear.

Granted, they appear in the trash.

I wish for a lifetime supply of pizza and mac-and-cheese.

granted, but they're plastic

I wish I had some popcorn

Granted, but it's old popcorn from the tree from Christmas 2005. :p

I wish for the Rascal Flatts CD now!! (Rascal Flatts Changed) :D

Granted, it's the pirated Ras-Kal Flattz jug band music

I wish I could control the TV with my mind

Granted but you can only have one channel and it's your worst nightmare.

I wish I could be the next poster.

Granted,.....WAITWUT?!?!!?!?
But,but,but,but....WHAT!!!!
(who...am...I...)

I wish I was myself again.

Granted, but you falter under your own self realization, spiraling into a never-ending state of fear and doubt. The weight of your own self-destructive ethos crushes your will, leaving you in an aphotic state of limbo, where existence and non-existence coagulate.

I wish upon a star.

Granted, you get Red K Kal-El.

I wish for Smallville season 11. :D

granted, but it's condensed into one 10 sec clip

I wish I would get off of here and go to BED!