Corrupt Wishes

Granted, you are swamped with emails and text messages that read the popular internet colloquialism "the cake is a lie", this leads to your eventual suicide, due to immense frustration after a string of therapists who fail to help you. But the cake was delicious.

I wish for bird with a parachute.

Granted, but the parachute breaks.

I wish that a popular creator (that's not a spammer or a copier) would like my levels.

Granted, but they never bother to heart or =D it, so you are left hanging in the dark.

I wish I had more PSN friends that actively played LBP 1&2.

wish granted, but it's me.
i wish for the power to combust.

Granted, but now you have no power. (how unexpected! :p)

I wish to claim the goose who laid the golden egg.

Granted, but no one recognizes her as that and you can't convince them.

I wish that everyone knew how to put pictures into their posts, like this:

http://www.things4myspace.com/wp-con...20say%20hi.gif

Granted,but Tinypic is shut down.

I wish that I had no hate on LBP2.

Granted, but you have no like either. It's all neutral.

I wish that I were legitimately (no copying, H4Hing, etc.) the best popular creator.

Granted,but the non-h4hers p4pers etc. aren't good creators.

I wish that I had a pet sackboy.

Granted, but he dies.

I wish I had an immortal pet Sackboy.

Wish granted,but he gets frozen and could never move again. ( He's still alive just saying. )

I wish that I could fly.

Granted, but you can only fly when your arch-nemesis wants you to (AKA: never).

I wish for super strength.

Granted, but you destroy your PS3/PSP/PSVITA/Your whole house while trying to use it.

I wish to be a magician.

Granted, you make your PSVita disappear.

I wish I had telekinesis (the ability to move things with your mind).

Granted, but you accidentally move your brain from place, removing your powers (?)

I wish for the big, pink, cookie

Granted, it's oatmeal raisin.

I wish for an oatmeal raisin cookie. (Hypocrisy, no?)

Granted,but the raisins come off while it's teleporting to you.

I wish for me to get money to donate to LBPC.

Granted, but it's instantly taken away from you, as you owe someone money.

I wish that I wouldn't run out of ideas for wishes!

Granted,but this tread gets locked.

I wish that I could draw with my mind.

Granted, but you draw inappropriate pictures in front of your parents.

I wish that someone would do something!