Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but he's such an evil walnut that he becomes a HUGE EVIL WALNUT MONSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and destroies earth.

I wish for someone to say something nice about me.

Granted, he says ''something nice about me'' and then turns into rotten bacon.

I wish for a LBP Cap.

Granted, it says "LPB", standing for either "LittlePlanetBig" or "LittlePigBlanet".

I wish for a yellow construction hat.

Granted, but its a demon hat.

I wish for potato pie to become popular.

Granted. It has become popular... as a disguise for I.E.D.s, which you are mistakenly about to consume...

I wish it got cooler.

Granted, but the sun came closer and the earth burned. Whooops.

I wish mail was faster

Granted, it flies at 300 mph at your face. And it was your new TV.

I wish for symmetry. .yrtemmys rof hsiw I.

Granted, however due to symmetry, there are lots of car accidents. You were in all of them.

I wish I had a Vita

Granted, but Sony discontinued it and released the PS3DVita Deluxe Edition. And they aren't compatible

I wish I had less homework

Granted. As a result, you have more tests.

I wish Outlaw-Jack were even more awesome (is that even possible?)

Granted, but the awesome-o-meter is a pressure dial and not a thermometer, making him go all the way back to un-awesome. :(

I wish the awesome-o-meter was a thermometer and not a pressure dial.

Granted, you burn into ashes because of your heat.

I wish for a graham cracker.

Granted, however it's a RockSauron™ Brand Graham cracker, therefore it has shards of sharp iron in it, along with poisonous and hazardous waste.

I wish to become manager of Mm.

Granted, but MM is sold to Zynga.

I wish for a Portal Gun

Granted. You start to infinite fall, then the gun malfunctions, making it so you can't escape your infinite fall.

I wish I had a pet turret.

Granted, but it thinks you're a test subject.

I wish for a monkey

Granted, however he is a butler (EVIL).

I wish for donuts.

Granted, they are made of vegetables.

I wish for bacon

Granted, however it is made of the rump of a zombie (therefore rotten) rather than the rump of a pig.

I wish for Authentic Cloud Storage for FREEEEEEEEE!

Granted, your data flies to the sky and you can't retrieve it back.

I wish I could travel to the moon