Corrupt Wishes

You have a dollar, but it's a monopoly dollar.

I wish my cars side mirror was fixed.

It's fixed, but the rest of the car is broken now.

I wish someone highlight this.

Granted, but they couldn't read it, so the fact that they're posting in direct response to it baffles and confuses you.

I wish someone would think of a wish for me.

Granted, but the person is deranged and wishes for a zombie apocalypse.

I wish the Dallas Cowboys win today.

Granted, they win against the Girly Babies in overtime by one point. And it's their only win of the season.

I wish for more and more coconuts.

The coconuts you wish for rain from the sky, destroying everything outdoors and making you a wanted fugitive for causing so much destruction.

I wish that I had more good pens to write with.

Granted, but you keep making un-erasable mistakes, making you wish that you had rather wished for pencils.

I wish I didn't have to wake up early tomorrow.

Granted, now you have to wake up early every day.

I wish I found a potato.

You find a potato, but only after wasting years of your life searching. Hope it was worth it.

I wish that the impact sensor wasn't glitching on me.

Granted, now it glitches on everyone. How nice of you.

I wish that logic wasn't so thermo-consuming

In order to save on thermo, they make the logic completely invisible. Good luck connecting wires now.

I wish that it was weekend.

Granted, but any plans you may have had fall-through, and you have a boring, uneventful weekend.

I wish batteries lasted forever.

Granted, but the batteries' size would be wrong.

I wish LBPVita worked already as well as LBP2.
(Lol I wonder how will you'll be able to spoil that. He, I have confidence in you.)

Granted, but then they take down the servers for some reason, permanently destroying the LBPVita community forever.

I wish my new PSVita didn't cost so much money.

Granted, it costs you $1 less and you pay a $150 fee every month.

I wish for the hurricane to end.

Granted, but a tornado takes its place.

I wish I could travel with free will through time.

Granted, but you end up traveling to the end of time, and you can no longer return.

I wish there was more time in the day.

Granted, the days now last a lot more, but you have to work a lot more.

I wish that Disney buying Lucasfilm was fake :frightened:

Instead, Disney buys the LBP series and makes the next game specifically for young children, without a create mode.

I wish that I could have the knowledge of the internet instantly transferred into my mind at will.

Granted, but you go crazy and (REDACTED STUFF)

I wish I got more halloween gifts on TF2