Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but they all give you the same paper mask.

I wish I was a world-famous 3D artist.

You have your fame, but only long after you are dead. You instead live as a penniless beggar.

I wish more people buy LBPV.

Granted, but they're all kids who make nothing but bomb and zombie survival levels and post negative reviews/comments on your levels.

I wish the LBP community as a whole was more mature.

It is, but the series stops making money, so they discontinue server support and drop the series altogether.

I wish that there was another category akin to cool levels where moderators and trusted players could put high quality levels from sites such as this on a temporary basis so they would receive more recognition and plays.

It does exist, but only when the game is already dead, so people rarely check out this levels, and good levels are extremely rare.

I wish I could get videogames for free.

You get every game for free, but every game has 5 minutes of unskippable commercials every 10 minutes.

I wish that my calculator could read numbers off the page and instantly do the operation.

Done, but it is only a elemental calculator (not a scientific one), so all your operations will be only from elementary school. :p Oh, and it somehow crashes and gives you wrong answers.

I wish I could rewrite Resident's Evil past titles' story, so that they aren't so bad. :D

Granted, but they release them as DLCs.

I wish my internet didn't lag so much

Granted--your internet breaks, preventing it from being able to lag.

I wish my coffee would wake me up more quickly.

Granted, it wakes you so fast it wastes your energy, tiring you again and making you sleep.

Granted. Nothing happens, but since nothing is nothing, you notice no difference between nothing happening and nothing not happening.

I wish that I was home.

Granted, but your home burned down, so you have nowhere to go, which takes you to a limbo were you'll never be able to escape.

I wish I could speak many languages fluently.

Granted, but then you begin to overhear people speaking in different languages, and they usually don't have anything nice to say, since they think no one around can understand them.

I wish to meet Deadmau5 in person.

Granted, you get a dead mouse in your mail.

I wish I didn't forget to wish.

Granted, but the sheer irony of the situation you've just created implodes the universe.

I wish the universe wasn't imploded.

Rather than imploding, it simply explodes.

I wish that candy was not bad for you.

Granted, now it's awful. Just seeing it makes you implode.

I wish I didn't implode when I saw candy.

To be certain you never mistake anything for candy, the only food you are allowed to see (let alone eat) is that pea soup baby mush. Gross.

I wish I could fall asleep.

Granted, but then you never wake up.

I wish for fish.

granted,but all your fish will die

I wish i dont have to go to school