Corrupt Wishes

Granted, you have to go to university.

I wish Freddie Mercury came back to life (in an okay way, no zombie stuff)

Granted, a boulder falls on him.

I wish that my text weren't so huge!

Granted, but now it's too small to read easily

I wish I wasn't out of milk!

Granted, you are now out of everything!

I wish my headset worked

Granted, your headset walks off to find a job.

I wish that my backpack was bigger.

Granted, but everything grows with it so still nothing fits.

I wish I had more time to play LBP Vita.

Granted, you stop studying to play LBPVita. Say hello to the F-/0 (depends on your country)

I wish Ethics weren't so boring

Granted, but then you enjoy it so much that you become obsessed.

I wish it wasn't so cold.

Granted, but then its too hot to live

I wish my computer didn't break

Granted, but your PS3/PSVita does.

I wish for a burger

Granted, but it gets molded into a sphere.
I wish to become an immortal assassin.

Granted, but all your blades are rusted and break.

I wish I breathe in space

Granted, but the weightlessness causes you to fly into the sun.
I wish my sackboy was alive and would never, ever get mad at me ever.

Granted, he cries tears into your mouth and you choke and die.
I wish shoveling snow was easier

Granted, but the shovel slides into the street and when you go get it an 18 wheeler creams you and you die aty the seen.
I wish to have the super powers of all the super heroes in the world.

Granted, but the supervillians think you are a new superhero and try to kill you.

I wish I could shoot Brian Gaga with an AK-47

Granted, but he has one to and shoots back.
I wish I had a girlfriend.

Granted, but on your wedding day she dumps you for a fat, bald guy
I wish I had a bigger bed

Granted, but when you bring that special someone in there she recognizes what you are doing, kicks you in the balls, and jumps out the window.
I wish for nothing.

Granted, you get no water or food for the rest of your life

I wish for a movie theater in my house