Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but Valve suddenly finds out how to count to 3. They throw you back in the sequel.

I wish Valve made Half-Life 3.

Granted, it's about 3 guys who live for half as long as they expected.

I wish Valve would make Portal 3.

Granted, but you wouldn't be in the game :p :p :p .

I wish VALVe would terminate Wheatley :) .

They do... but they forget about the space core.

I wish VALVe would put Portal 3 on Vita.

*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt* Seriously guys, stop terminating me. It's all fun and games until somecore looses an optic. Actually, it's never been fun in the first place.

So, uh, I wish people would stop picking on me. I'm just a defenceless little core. In space. Needing to go back to Earth. Please. My coordinates are:
1-1-1 [You have reached your character limit]

People stop picking on you, but completely forget about your existence and you become invisible to them.

I wish that people would stop asking me about things I don't have any opinion on.

Granted, you are asked the same thing so many times it drives you mad.

I wish I had a real Mashy-Spike-Plate to crush my enemies with.

Granted, but it is made of exactly 586 pieces and you will have to assemble the whole thing yourself.

I wish I knew what Wheatley would do with a real Mashy-Spike-Plate.

I already told you. Crush my enemies.

I wish for cake.

The first person to indicate it's a lie gets a spinny-blade-wall to the face.

Granted, but the cake is a lie.

I wish MSTER232 had bothered to put a wish.

They did, it can only be read by humans.

I wish for an answer.

You've got one... but there's no question.

I wish to find my lost copy of LBP Vita.

You find it, but a sledgehammer falls on your vita...8 times.

I wish I had a wish idea.

Your wish idea feel into a well and it had to be rescued. But All was hopeless. Your Idea could not be saved

I wish I could have the PS4

Granted, your PS4 is in 473435534298484 pieces and you have to assemble it. Also, you lost the instruction booklet.

I wish for LBP3.

Granted. And you discover it has been developed by Rovio for cellphones and is actually just another version of Angry Birds where you launch Larry Da Vinci instead of actual birds.

I wish I had the ability to walk in the top of the water.

Granted, but you can't walk on top. Check your wording before wishing, man.

I wish I wasn't bored.

Granted, but you have to perform stunts.

I wish for a well functioning Playstation 4 like what I have in my avatar.

Granted, it's fully functioning. Well, it was fully functioning. What, why are you looking at me?

I wish for an AI friend. Yes, I did just say that.