Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but then it becomes useless.

I wish I had the crown.

Granted, you got it from a scam and it's removed from you.

I wish I would post here more often.

Granted; you now post very often. So often, in fact, you constantly post here 24/7. You start to get very hungry, but you cannot get up and eat because you're too busy posting.

I wish I could read minds (but only when I want to).

Granted, but when you do read minds, you read everyone's mind in the world at the same time, which instantly gives you a brainstorm.

I wish Star Wars: BattleFront III would finally be made, released, and be at least as good as Battlefront II.

Granted, but there is no option to change the graphics which are so realistic, any computer that tries to run it explodes.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you can only fly while 10 kilometres above solid ground.

I wish for a free Oculus Rift.

Granted, but you break your neck trying to rocket jump in TF2.

I wish I had an HD Mp3 file of the Wilderness theme

Granted, but h4x0rz virus you and delete it.

I wish to get a free Omni along with that free Oculus Rift.

Granted, but you die because Fast Travel stopped working in Skyrim/Oblivion/Fallout

I wish they announced the finalists of the Community Contraptions 18 contest

Granted, they flipped the order backwards.

I wish I had 47.7% trophy completion.

Granted, but some guy kills you for not having at least 50% trophy completion

I wish for a star

The sun materialises in your living room, we all burn.

I wish everybody-was-kung-fu-fightiiing!

They do, but they are all kung-fu-fighting you! :O

I wish music was good and we didn't have awful boybands and singers like One Direction making every single person in the world think they can sing and win a talent show.

Granted, I immediately burst into flames because I can't think of a single thing to corrupt that wish.

I wish I had a Mini-Me.

Your mini me was too mini and you stepped on it.

I wish for red eyes.

Granted, but they're red because they're bloody. Your brain exploded, game over.

I wish for neon eyes

Granted, but they're malfunctioning.

I wish someone else would post right before me!

Granted. Your eyes hurt.

I wish I had a bbq chicken piece right now.

Granted, it came from Alaska.

I wish I had a BBQ chicken piece from Texas right now.

Granted. Too bad it's poisoned.

I wish my copy of LBPVita would magically show up so that I don't have to buy it again (lost the dang thing 2 months ago)