Corrupt Wishes

Granted, the intro freezes the system every time.

I wish I had a BBQ chicken piece from Texas that wasn't ruined in any way.

It got lost in the mail.

I wish for nobody to corrupt this wish.

But then they did.

I wish for nothing.

Granted, you now have nothing whatsoever.

I wish I had... a terminal disease...?

You die from it.

I wish that Ironface weren't in my nightmares.

Granted: Now there's 2.

I wish I could just get my MIDI working.

Granted, but when you try to use it you find it working.
Working on it's abs.

I wish that everyone else's wishes never came true and never will

Granted, but a black hole rips and sucks in us all.

I wish I could find my theme-park game.

Your wish is granted, and you find your themepark game....

But you find it in the middle of a landfill swarmed over by malcontent seagulls.

I wish for an adorable pet baby seal that never needs to eat or poop, is alive, and immune to being clubbed to death.

Granted, it jumps in the sea and swims away, never seen him again. ;-;
I wish for the Super-uber-mega-ultra-squared-double-burger-n-bacon-with-15x-cheese-holy-cow-that's-alot-of-cheese. (10000000 Nys Labs test points for getting THAT refference.)

Granted, it has dirt on it.

I wish for a wider monitor.

Granted, it's one tenth of a milimeter wider (fun fact, that's one single hair wider! :D)

I wish this forum was never created.

Granted, but your existence lies within this forum. Your life fades away, leaving you to be a 30-year-old bum sitting in your parent's basement playing Call of Duty 24/7.

I wish for Call of Duty to explode upon itself.

Granted, but it also explodes your PS3.

I wish I could detach myself from Animal Crossing: New Leaf.

Granted, but the force required to do so detaches all of your body parts, and you are dead.

I wish for Protoraptor and qwerty123456 to actively participate in the LBP Mafia thread like they're supposed to.

Granted, you never get to post because they're posting so often.

I wish I didn't have summer homework. *sigh*

Granted, you not only have spring, fall and winter homework, the day summer ends you are given all-nighter homework for every day of the rest of your life. You never sleep. You fail. No college. No education. No job. No money. No food. Hunger.More Hunger.
Starvation.

Be careful what you wish for.
Thus, I wish I die! :D

Granted, but you miss teh ryan86me and your sheer will to see me brings you back. But... being alive makes you depressed, and an infinite cycle of life and death ensues.

I wish for all of the donuts.

Granted, they're eaten by homer.
I wish I was EVEN FUNNIER!

Granted, but people are getting used to hilarious jokes, and you can't find any funnier ones.

I wish that this wish wasn't corrupted with an endless cycle.