Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but it's a single yen. 8D

I wish schools would realize how useless homework is already and stop giving it.

Granted, but now there are no free weekends.

I wish I could travel in time.

Granted, but you're still stressed out.

I wish TenebrisNemo got that Twenty One Pilots reference.

Granted, but he doesn't realize it and you're frustrated.

I wish I'm luckier than anyone else.

Granted, but you never said what for. You now get hit by lightning every time you walk outside. 8D

I wish everyone would use the Oxford Comma.

Granted, but now nobody can't use english as second language.

I wish I could control time.

Granted, but you still don't get the Twenty One Pilots reference.

I wish I were good enough at baseball to be in the MLB.

Granted, but you're officially the worst player in there.

I wish I could see it happen.

Granted, but now you can't feel anything.

I wish I could eat anything and remain physically fit.

Granted, but because of your unhealthy appetite, you get cancer.

I wish I wouldn't be so easily distracted.

Granted, but your work is still the same quality.

I wish I could make a video game.

Granted, but no one wants to play it after you've worked on it for many, many years.

I wish I had time to write a book then publish it.

Granted, but you don't know how to write.

I wish aliens would invade.

Granted, but they kill you and your loved ones.

I wish I knew how to make lots of food.

Granted, but you're a vegetable once you know that.

I wish I could control time.

Granted, but you can only control it by making it go 1.00000000000000000000000.....000000000001 times as fast.

I wish I could have gotten my point across without having to type 0 that many times.

Granted, but now you got divided by zero.

I wish that whenever someone makes a grammar mistake on the internet, I get 1 €.

Granted, but it's Monopoly money.

I wish PeanutButterGamer weren't so bad at Wheel of Fortune.

Granted, but now Wheel of Fortune is bad at PeanutButterGamer.

I wish I could turn invisible whenever I want.

Granted, but you can never turn back.

I wish more people would write short but effective corruptions of wishes.