Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but you have to live with me.

I wish the thought of meeting people online weren't so scary.

Granted, but now they hunt you down and kill you.

I wish I could fly like an angel.

Granted, but every time you do you have to pay the government millions of dollars.

I wish I could settle on a main in Smash 4.

Granted but then your fingers explode.

I wish I could sleep for as long as I like.

Granted, but you are still tired all the time.

I wish unicorns were real.

Granted, but they went extinct right at that moment and now North Korea rules the world.

I wish people had common sense.

Granted, but they do it so subtly that you still think they don't.

I wish milkshakes didn't have so many calories.

Granted, but now milkshakes give you cancer.

I wish I was a happy little Sauron who conquered the world.

Granted, but now the world is a desolate dump.

I wish I could be talented at English class.

Granted, but you speak English so well that everyone thinks you're bad at it.

I still wish I lived forever.

Granted, but you can never experience joy.

I wish nothing were overly philosophical.

Granted, but then you realized your wish was your true philosophy of existence.

I wish I win everyone.

Granted, but you lose all your other possessions.

I wish I could have a small loan of a million dollars.

Granted, but you get mugged the very moment and lose everything.

I wish I'm the richest man on earth.

Granted, but you are hated by 60% of American voters.

I wish I could become president unanimously.

Granted, but then you realize that you are a puppet and a tool of some unknown organization.

I wish world ends.

Granted, but scientists were wrong when they said there were probably other life-bearing planets out there.

I wish the English final weren't so hard.

Granted, but now you have Finnish finals which are even harder. 8D

I wish humanity would stop destroying itself.

Granted, but it builds itself so much that we ruin the Earth.

I wish I could express my opinions without people ****ting on them.

Granted, but instead your opinions becomes their toilets.

I wish I got 99 solutions.