Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but you won't be one. 8D

I wish I could make an amazing evil laugh.

Granted, but that is the only vocalisation you are capable of.

I wish for 100,000 large jars of peanut butter.

Granted, but you are forced to eat them all at once.

I wish I would never have the hiccups again.

Granted, but now you have a cancer once a year.

I wish for more milk!

Granted, but it's spoiled.

I wish we weren't playing the forum games at the same time. It gets confusing.

Granted, but now everyone else on LBPC plays the forum games at the same time. 8D

I wish Silent wasn't so bad at games.

Granted, but now ['Silent'?] is bad at Frisbee...

I wish I knew who this Silent was.

Granted, but his lack of skills is disturbing and it makes you commit suicide.

I wish Olrox wasn't such painful pale jerk.

Granted, but I had to use Google to find who Olrox is.

I wish you would reference characters or people everyone knows about.

Granted, but those characters are Jar-Jar Binks, kid Anakin, and Qui-Gon Jinn

I wish Dragon Ball continuity made sense

Granted, but real life doesn't make any sense.

I wish my voice weren't gone today.

Granted, but instead your soul is gone forever.

I wish that I will never get sausage beans from Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans box.

Granted, but you get vomit beans instead.

I wish people would never misunderstand others.

Granted, everyone who doesn't speak Lojban is shot into the sun.

I wish VR headsets didn't have exclusives(I mean COME ON, they're MONITORS. My headphones don't have exclusive music...).

Granted, but they now cost ten times as much.

I wish Robo4900 would become famous soon enough.

Granted, but then he dominates the world with machines & stuff.

I wish L1N3R1D3R would be more than just really nice.

Granted, but I take your splendid-one-to-behold honor.

I wish we could stop talking about this.

Granted, no one has mouths anymore.

I wish Star Wars: Jedi Knight would finally get its long-overdue new entry.

Granted, but it's quite bad.

I wish the corruption weren't so easy to come up with.

Granted, but then you died.

I wish I could read minds.