Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but they're eight year-olds.

I wish I had more friends, period.

Granted, but then they gather around you and each one of them stabs you at least once when you are weak and helpless.

I wish Zombie Jesus would kill everyone.

Granted, but all churches are burned and so are the surrounding plants and buildings.

I wish school weren't starting today. :/

Granted, but instead you get into prison today for 30 years.

I wish people weren't envious.

Granted, but now they all have a lot more money and possessions than you do.

I wish I could host a Smash tournament without buying extra setups or taking a really long time.

Granted, but then hooligans came and destroyed everything.

I wish I had wings to fly with.

Granted, but now you have to drink Red Bull all day.

I wish more Chinese food places had buffets.

Granted, but they also have diseases and dogs.

I wish corruption didn't exist.

Granted, but we can't play this game anymore.

I wish politicians didn't exist.

Granted, but now the world is in constant war against everyone.

I wish I'm god and I could create my own universe.

Granted, but you are required to place one Donald Trump on every land mass.

I wish I could speedrun games.

Granted, but then you lose your fingers in an accident.

I wish I could create amazing games.

Granted, but they go under the radar for being too obscure.

I wish I could eat whatever I want without bodily consequences.

Granted, but you can not taste nor smell anymore and you die in 10 years.

I wish I do not need sleep.

Granted, but you now need Sir monacle. 8D

I wish I had my old math teacher back.

Granted, but he is a vegetable now.

I wish I had an indestructible hard drive.

Granted, but your computer destroys.

I wish I weren't so tired.

Granted, but now you're in coma for 40 years.

I wish I got the power.

Granted, but you must scream "I've got the powah!" every minute.

I wish I could make a living off of YouTube.

Granted, but you can not do anything else with your life except to sit at your computer.

I wish I can not die from gravity.