Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but you die from oxygen.

I wish people would stop underrating Lucas.

Granted, but when that happens he has to die.

I wish death wasn't the answer for many problems.

Granted, after you're dead.

I wish my Wacom pen wasn't dead.

Granted, but now your family is.

I wish Nemo know that I was talking about a Smash Bros. character.

Granted, but then he is super dead. 8D

I wish I can visit every person on this forum without them knowing it.

Granted, but you get arrested for being a stalker.

I wish I could have a party with everyone on this forum.

Granted, but it ends up with someone being executed/burned/squeezed/exploded and only few of you will survive.

I wish internet would stop whining about Harambe.

Granted, but now they praise Harambe as their lord and savior.

I wish I didn't have to write a page about transcendentalism for homework.

Granted, but then you have to write the whole bible again.

I wish I could get away with a murder.

Granted, but you were forced to murder your best friend.

I wish crickets weren't so darn loud.

Granted, but now every other insect is 1000 times louder.

I wish Yu-Gi-Oh battles were a thing.

Granted, but Santa Claus isn't.

I wish I wouldn't be catechized for being an agnostic.

Granted, but now you're a pawn of the antagonist and die instantly.

I wish I was better in Dark Souls 2 PvP.

Granted, but you're worse at school.

I wish I could simply remove some of my classes.

Granted, but you are stuck in school for the rest of your life as a student.

I wish I could control gravity.

Granted, but you can only do it on some random planet really far.

I wish both of my cats were cuddly.

Granted, but then they murder you.

I wish dogs weren't retarded.

Granted, but now your parents are.

I wish this forum's EXP system weren't retarded.

Granted, but now your family is.

I wish I had the best corruptions.

Granted, but they have no effect on Donald Trump.

I wish I was Donald Duck.