Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but you are poor, jobless and have to sleep with Dolan every night.

I wish I could shoot meteorites.

Granted, but must deflect them off yourself to shoot them forward.

I wish I were a professional comedian.

Granted, but you can use your skills as a comedian if you murder someone everyday.

I wish I'm rich.

Granted, but you're Donald Trump.

I wish I could find a current event that isn't obvious, and yet is "important enough" for my teacher to accept.

Granted, but it's K-19 stuff, get an F, get suspended, lose your right thumb, lose your hair and your teacher becomes a vegetable.

I wish there would be a new unknown world to explore.

Granted, but it's the world of Hitler's imagination.

I wish my teacher noticed that our class is non-honors and stopped expecting extremely highly of us.

Granted, but then the government expect extremely highly of you and the losers will have a guillotine around their necks.

I wish I had the power to take and save lives.

Granted, but you can only do it to people you don't know.

I wish I had the power to shapeshift.

Granted, but you can only shapeshift into a more uglier, older and dumper version of yourself and you can not undo it.

I wish I had mindless servants.

Granted, but you're mindless as them.

I wish you don't corrupt my wish.

Granted, bu--

I wish NathanBros didn't cause a rip in the space time continuum.

Granted, but then he caused a rip into your body and you die slowly and painfully.

I wish your corruption also happened to you.

Granted, but my family becomes the leaders of the world and make your family their slaves.

I wish I had enough time to do all my hobbies.

Granted, but your body gets ripped apart when you try to do them at once.

I wish I had any kind of superpowers I want.

Granted, but included with that is the power of all the memes.

I wish I never ran into any more copyright issues with my videos.

Granted, but then those issues are in your everyday life.

I wish people didn't use glitches for their own advantages.

Granted, but they use them just to spite you.

I wish Nintendo hadn't taken away all the stars of creators with glitches in their Mario Maker levels.

Granted, but now Nintendo took your life.

I wish I could win a lot of money and buy presents for everyone on the forum games.

Granted, but all the money comes from homeless people.

I wish my mind didn't immediately go there.

Granted, now your mind went into the toilet.

I wish I could visit Anor Londo.