Corrupt Wishes

Granted, now you're trapped in a pitch black hole in Anor Londo. I wish I was batman.

Granted, but you are mentally ill and crazy and want to kill yourself.

I wish Merely had an avatar at least.

Granted, but Steveni banned me for attempting to change my avatar. I wish that I had infinite wishes

Granted, but you can only wish for infinite amount of poop into your room.

I wish I could heal people.

Granted, but they must be people you actively dislike.

I wish I were big enough to be part of the Derp Crew.

Granted, but you are a vegetable now.

I wish the next corruption happened to Trump instead.

Granted, but you drop out of the race. :D

I wish I could teleport anywhere I wanted to.

Granted, but you can only do it in your dreams, not IRL.

I wish those friggin' fogs didn't come.

Granted, but they fog your memory. 8D

I wish I would stop making awful puns.

Granted, but now you're making buns for the rest of your life.

I wish L1N3R1D3R is a father so he has a reason to do dad jokes.

Granted, but you're the mother. :hero:

I wish society would be more accepting of minorities.

Granted, they are accepted as slaves (wait...).

I wish religions could be more rational.

Granted, but then holocaust is an everyday routine.

I wish I'm the smartest man alive.

Granted, but you always make puns and everyone is annoyed at you for that.

I wish I could keep the Gold Activity Award I got once.

Granted, but your account gets banned right after you got it permanently.

I wish I can control time.

Granted, but you couldn't control it enough to see that you've already wished for this several times.

I wish I could hire someone to write my essays.

Granted, but his writing is crap and he is only there to steal your money.

WDYDW I wish for an immortal monster under my service. DYA that?

Sure, as long as he doesn't attack me.

WDYDW Adele is touring?

Granted, but then you realize that you are on the wrong forum game and die a horrible, slow and painful death. 8)

I wish for an applause.

Granted, but it happens because Trump just got elected.

I wish Nemo hadn't confused my distracted mind by posting the wrong stuff in his post beforehand.