Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but now every human has a mind of a goldfish.

I wish we can always blame L1N3R1D3R.

Granted, but I become the smartest person and you are all idiots.

I wish the world would burn if that happened.

Granted, but TenebrisNemo watches it from the moon while everyone of you burns on the world.

I wish that would happen.

Granted, but you would then be an idiot on the moon, so you would die within a few minutes.

I wish I were somewhat okay at reading comprehension.

Granted, but you don't have nothing to read.

I wish to know a funny comic.

Granted but then you hit coma.

I wish for freedom.

Granted, but it's freedom from life.

I wish I had all the creativity.

Granted, but everything you create has been already created by someone.

I wish I can fall from great heights without injuries.

Granted, but walking down stairs will kill you.

I wish I could have more time to pursue my passions instead of the boring work I'm forced to do.

Granted, but when you have time, you have 0 energy and you sleep whenever you can.

I wish I can stop anything and anyone.

Granted, but you can not start anything.

I wish I could pet a purring cat all day.

Granted, but then it mauls you to death.

I wish these ads would stop preventing me to do stuff.

Granted, but you miss an ad that could have changed your life.

I wish I had motivation to do homework.

Granted, but motivation doesn't have you and breaks up with you instantly.

I wish I had Olivia Voldaren.

Granted, but you don't have any other cards.

I wish everyone could take inappropriate jokes.

Granted, but then killing people becomes legal.

I wish I can open my account again so I can create that on card.

Granted, but the card gets lost.

I wish I had more flash cards.

Granted, but they give you tons of paper cuts.

I wish I wouldn't be forced to use stupid apps.

Granted, but you have to use a stupid phone.

I wish I were Indiana Jones.

Granted, but you're in an alternate universe where Indiana Jones dies in the 1st movie.

I wish I could avoid certain sad things.