Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but you're forced to move to the United States. 8)

I wish Trump's inauguration weren't so soon.

Granted, but now it's so late that it's the wild west all over again.

I wish Senator Armstrong is the president of U.S.A.

Granted, but you're forced to stay in Finland.

I wish I could post here more often.

Granted, but you have to cut off one of your fingers when you post something.

I wish I'm a ghost.

Granted, but you must haunt African children.

I wish I were good enough at Smash to play it professionally.

Granted, but by "professionally" you're a fat sack in a basement with neither life nor social interaction.

I wish it wouldn't be so wet all the time.

Granted, but all the plants die.

I wish I had enough money to buy video games on a whim.

Granted, but then someone steals them from you within a few days.

I wish people aren't crazy.

Granted, but now no one is the president of the United States. 8)

I wish I had enough money to buy all the Steam games in my wishlist.

Granted, but your internet immediately gets disconnected

I wish I had a '32 Ford Coupe.

Granted, but you had it for 4 minutes before cops caught you and put you into jail.

I wish people are more original.

Granted, but carburetor.

I wish biorogue remembered that you can just use Steam on a laptop with any internet.

Granted, but then nobody remembers that you exist.

I wish that every bad thing in my life happened to L1N3R1D3R instead.

Granted, but all the good things from everyone's lives happens to me as compensation.

I wish I could see Donald Trump just for fun.

Granted, but now you live with him.

I wish I wasn't forced to do unnecessary things.

Granted, but you must manage your taxes for the rest of your life.

I wish my teachers wouldn't tell me how to learn.

Granted, now they force you to learn in the hardest of ways.

I wish people liked my cards.

Granted, but they love the other cards.

I wish I had remembered to charge my phone.

Granted, but you didn't remember to breathe and you die.

I wish everyone else have to breathe manually except me.

Granted, but you now live alone, causing much more depression than satisfaction.

I wish talk shows wouldn't run repeats.