Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but now they run uninteresting stuff and you have to attend all of them for the rest of your life.

I wish people would stop the Trump memes.

Granted, now Trump makes people memes.

I wish an iWall, personal wall by Apple (paid by Mexico).

Granted, but then Mexico is in large debts and the wall lasts for 4 hours until it collapses and now you're a slave for the rest of your life.

I wish people would find their own things.

Granted, but they think they're all Trump's and give everything to him.

I wish I could have Donald Trump's haircut, but nothing else about him.

Granted, but that haircut eats your brains.

I wish Trump is an Eldrazi.

Granted, but that means Pence is the president.

I wish I were more confident in myself.

Granted, but then you fail.

I wish I could finish the lore before Thursday.

Granted, but it contains too many plot holes, and haters rip you to pieces.

I wish I could think of something good.

Granted, but then you copied it from someone and they sue you to oblivion.

I wish hackers didn't ruin my girlfriend's match.

Granted, but they ruin your relationship with her.

I wish I weren't so indifferent about you having a girlfriend?

Granted, but she forced me to make that wish, man. :(

I wish you could play more often like before.

Granted, but then I drop out of high school, live in the streets, and not have enough money for internet.

I wish I didn't miss a day of school because I was sick.

Granted, but instead you got into coma and you miss 2 years of school.

I wish other people wouldn't stop me from pursuing my dreams.

Granted, but people scold you for imitating Shia LaBeouf.

I wish yesterday I said tomorrow, so I just did it.

Granted, but you only dream of success, while others wake up and work hard on it.

I wish nothing is impossible.

Granted, but now you are a pop song.

I wish pizza weren't so bad for you.

Granted, but now it tastes like crap.

I wish I had the power to fix broken stuff.

Granted, but you have to fix the US Government. 8D

I wish that situation would fix itself.

Granted, but then the world ends.

I wish that if the world would end, it would be epic as hell.

Granted, but all progress in anything as we know it would end. Are you sure you want nothingness?

I wish I could have enough money to comfortably buy small things without worry.