Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but now you won't write at all for your hands got cut off by a gangster.

I wish I you all lose in all forum games.

Granted, but who is "I you all"?

I wish I knew how to drive.

Granted, but then you become a vegetable.

I wish I will never make a mistake when it comes to typing.

Granted, but the very thought of making a mistake keeps you up at night, you now get night terrors and panic attacks with very thought of making another typo. It eats you up, devours your very personality, you're unable to go outside. You don't want live in a world of bad grammar, so you go to mars, and we have pizza, and then we die because of the pizza!

I wish I was the only one who could make wishes in this forum.

Granted, but the good side of the wishes happens to everyone else while the corrupted side happens to you.

I wish I didn't have nightmares.

Granted, but you get killed for having a dream.

I wish I didn't have dark jokes about Martin Luther King Jr. in my head.

Granted, now you have dark jokes about Putin and he comes and kills you with bear hands.

I wish everyone had bear hands.

Granted, but now you get tired of people saying that they did things "with their bear hands".

I wish I had a Snickers bar.

Granted, your mother buys you a mars bar.


I wish chocolate and other various confectionaries didn't exist.

Granted, now the suicide rates after breakups have risen by 9990%, and some certain people in the past committed suicide because chocolate never existed and so we have never born because the time we live on now is an alternative timeline where chocolate does not exist and now I do not exist, thanks a lot, Sir monacle.

I wish this forum game would be killed and buried.

Granted, bu--I wish people would learn how to highlight text.

Granted, but it will seem like gibberish to other people, so they just glance at it and continue posting.

I wish I didn't have a head. That'd be nice.

Granted, but you have a machine as a head now. Nasty stuff.

I wish I am the lord of the world and you are my worthless servants.

Granted, but you just asked to be Trump.

I wish more people would vote to impeach Trump's entire cabinet of fools.

Granted, but you put me In charge in doing so. I'm now the dictator of the world.


I wish I had a machine arm, to go with my machine head.

Granted, but now you are a robot incapable of having unique thoughts.

I wish I could turn invisible at any time.

Granted, but that time is now until your death.


I wish I could make two wishes in a single post with both of them coming true.

Granted, but the 1st wish kills you and the 2nd wish kills you right at the moment you born again.

I wish I had an infinite amount of original ideas.

Granted, but you have even more unoriginal ideas.

I wish I could skip to next school year, I'm sick of this one.

Granted, but you get put back five years for not keeping up with the class.


I wish I could beat up the pope without anybody noticing. Don't ask why.