Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but now everyone's playing "You're Banned!" instead.

I wish countries would just get along with each other.

Granted, but they get "along" by turning each other into radioactive dust.




I wish my pet rock could talk. It's so lonely on this side of mars...

Granted, but it talks only when you are asleep.

I wish my dog would be healthy again.

Granted, but that's not what I would call "healthy".




I wish the voices in my head weren't so mean.

Granted. Now they are loud and sarcastic.

I wish for waffle cookies.

Granted, but does waffle shaped, poop count?

I wish for all the candy in the world.

Granted, but they warp into your stomach and you explode.

I wish for WW3, I'm so cool! 8D

Granted, but it ends quickly.




I wish you happiness and good health.

Granted, but it cost your pet rock.

I wish I got unlimited power.

Granted, but you lose it immediately alongside your life.




I wish I was content with making this wish.

Granted, but then you become a snail.

I wish for unlimited strength.

Granted, but now your other max stats are 1.

I wish more people would notice that gurren009 posted somewhere other than "You're Banned!".

Granted, but then he gets too famous so that everybody knows his name and start to make memes out from him.

I wish as long as memes exist, so do I.

Granted, although the memes you get are all the old ones from the 1980s and 90s.

I wish for an actually fun video game!

Granted, but it's this game.




I wish I didn't have that game in my steam library.

Granted, but instead you have Roller Coaster Tycoon World.

I wish I had a specific passion that apparently everyone my age should have.

Granted, but it's all about suicide passion.

I wish people would know their places.

Granted, but they will never know of the outside world, doomed for eternity to stay indoors.




I wish to stop making wishes.

Granted. Now you're a vegetable.

I wish for Sir monacle plushies.

Granted, but they're all mushed up from him trying to cook them for dinner in his dreams.

I wish to live in Finland, and join TenebrisNemo on our quest for world dominance!