Corrupt Wishes

granted, they did, but you were asleep and missed it.

I wish I could get going this morning.

Granted, but you die in a car crash.

I wish that Mnniska would accept my friend request.

Granted, you get invited to his pod to play slap tennis ... You're the ball.
I wish this game would stay alive.

Granted, but you'll be dead and it will be still alive. (Portal reference!)

I wish no one would act like a n00b.

Granted, but everyone turns into a H4Her O_o

I wish I weren't, ermm, forever available.

Granted, but now you're

http://alltheragefaces.com/img/faces...ever-alone.jpg

I wish that I could take showers more quickly.

You drown in a flash flood.
I wish for hyphens. Hyphens everywhere.

o-k-b-u-t-n-o-w-y-o-u-c-a-n-'-t-u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d-a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g

I wish I didn't have to start school tomorrow :c

Granted, you have to start University.

I wish Uncharted on Crushing wasn't so hard.

Granted, now easy mode is hard.
I wish I had Resistance: Burning Skies.

Granted, but you don't have a PSVita/PS3 to play it. It turned into bacon. Rotten bacon.

I wish for Mann vs Machine to be faster to find a match.

Granted. The machine you fight against is omnipotent.

I wish that I didn't run out of ink.

Granted, you ran out of paper.

I wish magic existed.

Granted, you can only make more paperwork "magically" appear.

I wish upon a star.

Granted, it *CRASH* ... O_o ... I think he doesn't need to know any more ...
I wish for shtuff.

Granted, the "shtuff" is man-eating machines.

I wish that I didn't have to wait to play Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Granted, you'll have to wait for the power outage to go away though.
I wish for Season 3 of MLP NAO!

Granted, it's utter crap.

I wish I wasn't oblivious at times. @_@

Granted, but now you know everything, and you're infamous for being a stalker.

I wish I could work at Tarsier Studios.

Granted, you can go and wipe the floor every two weeks. Do NOT talk to any other employee or you're fired. :kz:
I wish for ... A wrench.

Granted, it takes over the world.

I wish for a non-corrupted wish.

Checkmate, corrupters

Granted, but the wish gets squashed.

I wish that Kellogg's would make multiflavored PopTarts.

kellogg's makes a flavour of PopTart with black death and tuberculosis.
i wish for erazorz.

You erase all your data on every computer game and file that is of your convenience.

I put in a sord............

This isn't the vending machine game...

I wish for a teddy bear.

Granted, but a mama bear mistakes it as one of her young then proceeds to maul you.

I wish.
Thats it, I just wish.

Granted but you die!

I wish I had more moneh!

Granted, but it's Monopoly money.

I wish for a can of soda.

Granted, the high pressure makes your can go BEWM opun opening it though.
I wish for a helmet with such a big lamp on it.

Granted but its too small for your head.

I wish I wish I wish I was a fish.

Granted, but as soon as you flop into water, a bacteria spreads through and YOU DIE. :moody:

I wish for a wishy wish.

Wish granted, but the dyslexic genie misinterpreted your request as "wishy wash" and crams you into a washing machine.

I wish I had pants to wear.

Granted, they're invisible.

I wish I were the legendary Mr. Game and Watch player in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Granted. You win one mundane match and then immediately get assassinated as the goverment fear you are powerful enough to overcome them.

I wish I was somehow not braindead enough to half-type a Corrupt Wishes post and then half-type a Vending Machine post.

Granted, you are awake, and alert, and awake, and alert, and awake, and alert, and awake, and alert, and awake, and alert...in fact, nothing even slightly phases you.

I wish I were a cuddly cat.

Granted, however you are both cuddly and slimy therefore nobody actually wants to cuddle you.

I wish Dr. Seuss would have written a book about Dogs fighting Lions.

Granted, but it was his first book he ever wrote, and it was terrible. He became a laughing stock, and because of this none of the books he would write after would sell. The Cat in the Hat was no more. And let's not forget Hop on Pop!

I wish I had some tea.

Granted, it came from the two Blankets who found no secrets in Mnniska's level, and therefore the tea is horrible.

I wish I had a portal gun.

Granted, however it only shoots blue portals.

I wish i had a donkey (kong).

Granted, but it's a donkey from the Congo.

I wish the entire human population was suddenly proficient with spelling and grammar.