Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but the movie roler person passes out and you have nothing to watch.
I wish that pigs could fly.

Granted, but they fly into your face

I wish i could go out for dinner every night

Granted, you always go to a restaurant where meat/fish is WAY overcooked.

I wish I had spiky hair.

Granted, you are undeservedly ridiculed everywhere you go for your silly haircut.

I wish I had a quieter laptop.

Granted, but you lost it and now you can't find it.

I wish I had a stronger PC.

Granted, but then it uses it's "strength" to pick you up and throw you out your window.

I wish lag didn't exist.

Granted, now you have ralentizations.

I wish I found the LBPKarting Special Edition somewhere :C

Granted, but it's broken.

I wish I wasn't so hungry.

Granted, you are now so thirsty you faint.

The end.

I wish I hadn't ended already.

Granted, but it's so horrible that you now wish that it ended.

I wish that you never made that wish, forcing everyone to wish that it had ended.

Granted, but time paradox. We're back at the prehistory.

I wish I found a dinosaur

Granted, but it eats you even before you have an oportunity of taking a photo of it.

I wish that dinosaur hadn't eat anybody.

Granted, but this also creates a wish-fueled time paradox resulting in the end of the universe.

I wish my Vita had infinite battery life.

Granted, but as the end of the universe had already happened as you stated, it is absolutely useless now.

I wish people didn't corrupt wishes with paradoxes, destruction of the universe or similar stuff :D

Granted, but you can't go back in time and undo what has already been done, and therefore you create a time para--

I wish the universe didn't implode before I finished my sentence.

Granted, it simply exploded, turned into gold, froze, melted and got Michael Bay'd. All at once.

I wish the CD I ordered arrived already

It does, but as you modified the flux of time to get things happen before they should have, the guy accidentally crashes and breaks the last copy of the CD you ordered. Into a thousand pieces.

I wish Chuck Norris wasn't invincible.

Granted, but you get kicked in the face before you get close to him.

And being close to him means being at less that 100000000 km

I wish I knew more english

Granted. You just learn ONE new word. And you don't like the meaning of it.

I wish I could be a successful game developer.

Granted, but you work at Zynga.

I wish they released a Valve Level Pack for LBP (ooohhh, I can dream)

Granted, but is is like that DLC for LBP PSP that was all glitchy and made levels crash.

I wish I could have more wishes, without creating some kind of paradox.

Granted... but you can't. So there.

I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.

Granted, you wish that you hadn't killed that fish, but it didn't work. How sad.

I wish that fish came back from the dead

Granted, but it is now a zombie fish and begins to infect the human population, resulting in the zombie apocalypse.

I wish zombie fish were as easy to kill as zombie humans.

Granted, but zombie humans were inmortal, so zombie fishes are inmortal too.

I wish Chuck Norris. No more.

ERROR ERROR ERROR Nobody can wish Chuck Norris. Sorry for that.

I wish Chuck Norris could be wished.

Granted, but you can only wish for him to destroy you. And you're forced to do it.

I wish I had a Move controller

Granted, but you have no games for it, and the controller is broken, AND the PS support says guarantee is not valid for some strange reason they only know.

I wish I could know that reason.

Granted, however the reason was is that the guarantee doesn't exist.

I wish I weren't here.

Granted, but the place you appear redirects you here

I wish my wish doesn't come true

[REDACTED] [TEMPORAL TIME PARADOX DETECTED; SEALING SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM HOLE]

I wish I could master an art.

Granted, you have now mastered the lol of course not-so-honourable art of P4Ping and H4Hing.

I wish we could have a Black Friday in my country just as good as USA's one.

Granted, it's a Blackout Friday, so you can't use your PS3.

I wish I won a raffle

Granted. The prize is a one-way ticket to the Dump, which is 10 miles from where you live

I wish I could master Japanese

Granted, but instead of the Japanese language, you've mastered Japanese gangster rapping.

I wish I hadn't slept in so much today.

Granted, but you're forced to stay up all night, making you extremely tired for your life-changing presentation.

I wish I had Waddles as a pet.

http://images.wikia.com/disney/image...10-640-359.jpg

Granted, but Mabel -yeah, had to do some research- appears with a shotgun to get him back, and you know, she shots you.

I wish I knew why Windows 8 looks to me like the Xbox 360 menu.

Granted, it's because Microsoft shut down their Xbox servers and focused mainly on Windows 8.

I wish that I could be one of TWD98's Nintendo WFC friends.

Granted, but you can only play Malleo Kart on the Mario's Missing! Circuit with him.

I wish the platinum for AC3 was easier.

Granted, your system glitches and doesn't give it to you.

I wish the LBPVita Launch shirt didn't cost $5. Too expensive for a virtual shirt.