Corrupt Wishes

Granted, now it is at an incredible prize of $4.98! Wheeeeeee!

I wish I could create my levels faster.

Granted, but you make them so quickly that they're terrible.

I wish terrible levels didn't exist!

Granted. Everyone else's levels all become so amazing, that your's pale in comparison.

I wish I had a Wii U

Granted, but you don't have a credit card or a parent/guardian who has one, so you can't connect to the Wii-U's online service. Sorry, no $0.50 charge for you!

I wish procrastination counted as a valid strategy to get things done.

Granted, but you put off everything in life, forget to pay your bills, and end up living in a dump.

I wish my computer wasn't a total piece of crap.

Granted, now it is a very-functional monitor, but as you haven't got anything else, your "computer" doesn't work.

I wish I had a PS+ subscription.

Granted, you have a PowerSatellite+ suscription.

I wish I had LBPVita

Granted, but you drop your vita into a lion cage at the zoo and dont have the money to buy a new one.

I wish there was less COD fanboys in this world.

Granted, they're now Battlefield fanboys.

I wish Rayman Legends was all-platforms

Granted, but all of your "platforms" break, so you can't play it.

I wish I didn't have so many assignments to do.

Granted, now you don't have to do them. You must do them.

I wish someone lended me a Move controller

Granted, but they borrow all of your Move™ compatible games in return.

I wish there were more good Playstation® Move™ compatible games.

Granted, but your dog ate your PSEye :X

I wish no wish was corrupted.

Granted, now they're distorted in a negative way.

I wish I had more funny wishes

Granted, but they're all so funny that you kill yourself dying of laughter.

I wish the Vita keyboard Im typing this on wasnt so easy to make mistakes on.

Granted, now there is no keyboard on the Vita. Whooops.

I wish I knew how to do cool LBP menus

Granted, but you can't make levels to go with them.

I wish I wasn't hungry.

Granted, but that apple you ate was poison. Have fun dying!

I wish teachers stop spamming homework.

Granted. All of them have now decided it should be better if you do it all in the class. And if you don't finish, you fail, that is.

I wish I knew more about a possible LBP3.

Granted, you know that it will suck.

I wish LBP3 didn't suck

Granted, it just won't exist now.

I wish I was level 300 with Sackboy in PSASBR already.

Granted, but the disk turns into dust.

I wish that dust came back into a disk

Granted, but it comes back into a disk containing a game of ET.

I wish I knew Halo's 5 storyline already.

Granted, the history is just "Here are the evil aliens, go and kill them"

I wish Halo story was better

Granted. It's "Here are the Bad guys. Go kill them with all these fancy new gameplay mechanics."

I wish I had a Girlfriend

Granted, you have a friend that is a girl. Nothing else.

I wish I had bacon

Granted, but you can't eat it as it is rotten. And it somehow is made of rock.

I wish I could breathe normally underwater.

Granted, but by breathing "normally" you're just trying to breathe the same way you always do, and you drown.

I wish I have Playstation Allstars on my Vita and PS3.

Granted, but they steal them both and give you a CD Case with Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

EDIT: Just noticed the video has lotsa swears, so I took it off. :p

Fear it.

I wish that game didn't exist

Granted, but now Xero receives nothing at all.

I wish I could predict the future.

Granted, but you couldn't predict that piano falling on your head.

I wish I handn't thrown my piano out of my window

Granted. You make an ridiculously big hole in the wall instead, so you also have to repair that.

I wish I could play on that piano before it is thrown from Pato's home.

Granted, but you get stuck in it, and get thrown out of the house with it. Did I tell you it was full of nails?

I wish I had stored my nails somewhere else

Granted, you stored them in a broken box that you place inside the piano, so I get pinched nonetheless. :(

I wish I didn't get pinched by those nails anyhow.

Granted, now you get pinched by knifes. Owch.

I wish I abruptly changed the theme

Granted. The theme is now foods.

I wish I had an infinite supply of Baked Lays

Granted, but you lose your taste for them. You now crave Pringles instead.

I wish there was more Electroswing music.

Granted, but now you are deaf.

I wish I had the ability to place portals

Granted, but you end up in PORTAL 2. And I guess that's a bad thing.

I wish I knew if that is a bad thing.

Granted, but you forget what bad means.

I wish I had already played your level