Corrupt Wishes

Granted, they're so green your brain explodes.

I wish for the Oracle Turret.

Granted, it tricks you and shoots you.

I wish for creativity.

Granted, I wish for that too. I knock you out and steal your brain.

I wish I had enough space in my core for two brains.

Granted, you don't have enough room for your heart.

I wish for a cuddly pillow on which to sleep.

You wish for a cuddly pillow has been granted, but I think there has been an error in manufacturing it at the factory because it has been stuffed using rocks instead of cotton.

I wish Wheatley's two brains weren't moronic.

Granted, but I forgot to make a wish which messed this game up.

I wish Wheatley could permanently have the MORONs disease.

Granted, but NOW WHO'S A MORON?! COULD! A! MORON! PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT?!

I wish I had more test subjects.

Granted, but I think you are going to have to share over half of them with GLaDOS, I'm afraid.

Granted, but you wished for nothing so I'll have to invent a wish for you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MSTER232

I wish for the Sun to implode.

---

I wish my post made more sense.

Granted, but you will have to attend a grammar and literature class.... with... humans.

I wish Wheatley had the guts to face humans :p .

Granted, now I have guts. They all fall out.

I wish they hadn't fallen out.

Granted, but the time reversal process involved keeps you from getting them in the first place.

I wish homework wasn't so boring

Granted, I wish that too. The underlying dual need for a wish results in the universe collapsing in on itself.

I wish I got that job in Turret Manufacturing.

You did, but you got fired. Back to dealing with those smelly... I mean lovely humans.

I wish Wheatley wasn't such a moron.

Granted. Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned. So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron. Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?

I wish I wasn't a moron.

Granted, but people will call you worse.

I wish a lot of people will like me.

Granted, but your mother doesn't.

I wish people bothered to listen to my band's music /shameless and pitiful self-promotion

Granted, but I will have to check out your videos a little bit later.

I wish I knew what Wheatley has been up to recently :) .

Granted, I've been in space.

I wish I could get out of space.

Granted, but Valve suddenly finds out how to count to 3. They throw you back in the sequel.

I wish Valve made Half-Life 3.

Granted, it's about 3 guys who live for half as long as they expected.

I wish Valve would make Portal 3.

Granted, but you wouldn't be in the game :p :p :p .

I wish VALVe would terminate Wheatley :) .

They do... but they forget about the space core.

I wish VALVe would put Portal 3 on Vita.

*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt* Seriously guys, stop terminating me. It's all fun and games until somecore looses an optic. Actually, it's never been fun in the first place.

So, uh, I wish people would stop picking on me. I'm just a defenceless little core. In space. Needing to go back to Earth. Please. My coordinates are:
1-1-1 [You have reached your character limit]

People stop picking on you, but completely forget about your existence and you become invisible to them.

I wish that people would stop asking me about things I don't have any opinion on.

Granted, you are asked the same thing so many times it drives you mad.

I wish I had a real Mashy-Spike-Plate to crush my enemies with.

Granted, but it is made of exactly 586 pieces and you will have to assemble the whole thing yourself.

I wish I knew what Wheatley would do with a real Mashy-Spike-Plate.

I already told you. Crush my enemies.

I wish for cake.

The first person to indicate it's a lie gets a spinny-blade-wall to the face.

Granted, but the cake is a lie.

I wish MSTER232 had bothered to put a wish.

They did, it can only be read by humans.

I wish for an answer.

You've got one... but there's no question.

I wish to find my lost copy of LBP Vita.

You find it, but a sledgehammer falls on your vita...8 times.

I wish I had a wish idea.

Your wish idea feel into a well and it had to be rescued. But All was hopeless. Your Idea could not be saved

I wish I could have the PS4

Granted, your PS4 is in 473435534298484 pieces and you have to assemble it. Also, you lost the instruction booklet.

I wish for LBP3.

Granted. And you discover it has been developed by Rovio for cellphones and is actually just another version of Angry Birds where you launch Larry Da Vinci instead of actual birds.

I wish I had the ability to walk in the top of the water.

Granted, but you can't walk on top. Check your wording before wishing, man.

I wish I wasn't bored.

Granted, but you have to perform stunts.

I wish for a well functioning Playstation 4 like what I have in my avatar.

Granted, it's fully functioning. Well, it was fully functioning. What, why are you looking at me?

I wish for an AI friend. Yes, I did just say that.