Corrupt Wishes

Granted, but you are poor, jobless and have to sleep with Dolan every night.

I wish I could shoot meteorites.

Granted, but must deflect them off yourself to shoot them forward.

I wish I were a professional comedian.

Granted, but you can use your skills as a comedian if you murder someone everyday.

I wish I'm rich.

Granted, but you're Donald Trump.

I wish I could find a current event that isn't obvious, and yet is "important enough" for my teacher to accept.

Granted, but it's K-19 stuff, get an F, get suspended, lose your right thumb, lose your hair and your teacher becomes a vegetable.

I wish there would be a new unknown world to explore.

Granted, but it's the world of Hitler's imagination.

I wish my teacher noticed that our class is non-honors and stopped expecting extremely highly of us.

Granted, but then the government expect extremely highly of you and the losers will have a guillotine around their necks.

I wish I had the power to take and save lives.

Granted, but you can only do it to people you don't know.

I wish I had the power to shapeshift.

Granted, but you can only shapeshift into a more uglier, older and dumper version of yourself and you can not undo it.

I wish I had mindless servants.

Granted, but you're mindless as them.

I wish you don't corrupt my wish.

Granted, bu--

I wish NathanBros didn't cause a rip in the space time continuum.

Granted, but then he caused a rip into your body and you die slowly and painfully.

I wish your corruption also happened to you.

Granted, but my family becomes the leaders of the world and make your family their slaves.

I wish I had enough time to do all my hobbies.

Granted, but your body gets ripped apart when you try to do them at once.

I wish I had any kind of superpowers I want.

Granted, but included with that is the power of all the memes.

I wish I never ran into any more copyright issues with my videos.

Granted, but then those issues are in your everyday life.

I wish people didn't use glitches for their own advantages.

Granted, but they use them just to spite you.

I wish Nintendo hadn't taken away all the stars of creators with glitches in their Mario Maker levels.

Granted, but now Nintendo took your life.

I wish I could win a lot of money and buy presents for everyone on the forum games.

Granted, but all the money comes from homeless people.

I wish my mind didn't immediately go there.

Granted, now your mind went into the toilet.

I wish I could visit Anor Londo.

Granted, now you're trapped in a pitch black hole in Anor Londo. I wish I was batman.

Granted, but you are mentally ill and crazy and want to kill yourself.

I wish Merely had an avatar at least.

Granted, but Steveni banned me for attempting to change my avatar. I wish that I had infinite wishes

Granted, but you can only wish for infinite amount of poop into your room.

I wish I could heal people.

Granted, but they must be people you actively dislike.

I wish I were big enough to be part of the Derp Crew.

Granted, but you are a vegetable now.

I wish the next corruption happened to Trump instead.

Granted, but you drop out of the race. :D

I wish I could teleport anywhere I wanted to.

Granted, but you can only do it in your dreams, not IRL.

I wish those friggin' fogs didn't come.

Granted, but they fog your memory. 8D

I wish I would stop making awful puns.

Granted, but now you're making buns for the rest of your life.

I wish L1N3R1D3R is a father so he has a reason to do dad jokes.

Granted, but you're the mother. :hero:

I wish society would be more accepting of minorities.

Granted, they are accepted as slaves (wait...).

I wish religions could be more rational.

Granted, but then holocaust is an everyday routine.

I wish I'm the smartest man alive.

Granted, but you always make puns and everyone is annoyed at you for that.

I wish I could keep the Gold Activity Award I got once.

Granted, but your account gets banned right after you got it permanently.

I wish I can control time.

Granted, but you couldn't control it enough to see that you've already wished for this several times.

I wish I could hire someone to write my essays.

Granted, but his writing is crap and he is only there to steal your money.

WDYDW I wish for an immortal monster under my service. DYA that?

Sure, as long as he doesn't attack me.

WDYDW Adele is touring?

Granted, but then you realize that you are on the wrong forum game and die a horrible, slow and painful death. 8)

I wish for an applause.

Granted, but it happens because Trump just got elected.

I wish Nemo hadn't confused my distracted mind by posting the wrong stuff in his post beforehand.