The Dwarven Mines

Hey everyone! This is my first level that I'm publishing (at least the first one that's taken me a substantial amount of time :love:) and I've love to get some feedback on it. It's basically your standard platformer in the spirit of the original LBP, but I did use some of the newer tools and logic components from LBP2.

There is one possible way of getting stuck in the level (forcing a restart) at the part with the coal cart. Maybe somebody could help pose a solution to the problem?

Thanks again for checking it out and enjoy! :)

http://lbp.me/v/30p222

seems fun i shall be playing it shortly, please check out my first published level to please

Thanks, I'll be sure to do that! What's your level called?

whats the frowny face for? i dont mind if its your honest opinion but please tell me whats wrong with the level

I fixed up my level with your suggestions, thanks for the feedback. In your level I got stuck completely, Im not sure if it is supposed to happen. I'll try another one of your levels right now, which one do you recommend?

EDIT: Played your neon coaster and really enjoyed it. The only problem I had was with the end; I didn't move but didn't make it to the end of the level.

the gladiator level is the one im trying to make popular, how did u get stuck?

Oh sorry, I was going back and rating levels that I played recently and must've miss-clicked. I actually really enjoyed the gladiator one but hopefully it gets popular so I can play it with more than one person. Fixed the rating.

I appreciate the feedback from everyone, and pardon the double post please! Just revamped the ending of the level to make it more suitable and I hope you all enjoy! Still looking for feedback if anybody comes across problems on the coal cart part of the level!

Tried this one out and was amazed by the beautiful atmosphere. The whole ride was smooth and the gameplay was decent.

One minor complaint though, the level felt short as I was just getting the feel for the level, and then I reach the scoreboard.

If you got the time, would you mind checking out my level and leaving feedback on it? It's a story-based platformer set in hell.
Here it is:
Title: Sinner's Redemption
Thread: http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?60154-Sinner-s-Redemption

Link: http://lbp.me/v/3hcswv

Mind you, it's a LBP1 level though, so don't expect much from it.

I just played this level and I have to say for a first timer it wasn't bad, but if you don't mind me saying your application of things can be kind of difficult, I mean I got stuck for ages at the start and all I was trying to do was get into the lift!!

Also if I might add you should put lights or some kind of directions for when you drop the coal on the scale cause I was unsure of were exactly too go!! Keep up the good work!

sounds good, putting in the queue now

Played this last night and was impressed by it being your first proper level.
Good set design really establishing the subterranean dwarven environment. Clever use of existion mining equipment to progress through the level. Liked the switch to the dwarven palace section and enjoyed the portal reference but thought it would work better as a discoverable easter egg rather than on the main level path? I think some of the earlier difficulty may be due to the darkness of the environment? maybe increasing Lumineres glowing radience would facilitate smoother passage for players. Overll lots of creative potential on show, good job.

F4F: http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/sho...Sushi-Emporium

Hey there, I've queued up your level because it sounds like the summary makes it sound like a fun level, so I'll leave my own feedback later on. In the meantime, do you think you could also check out my own level at http://lbp.me/v/y4n7x0?

There's also an F4F thread at http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/sho...g-Piece-Part-1

Hey Atlantean,
I played your level today and decided to give you a full length review, because I see a lot of potential in this level.

PRESENTATION
This level looks genuinely nice, I have to say. I do notice you know what kind of theme you were going for and you used the right materials to achieve this goal. However, I couldn’t help but notice a couple of things you could definitely improve on. First of all, right from the start of the level, the cave looks a little unrealistic. I noticed far too many corners on the floor, which is kind of how a level should not look like. I know you wanted to give it that edgy, detailed look, but corner editing a lot is not going to give that to your level. In order to give this level a little more detail, I suggest you work in one layer planes (so, no three layers, which is what you have now) and make the terrain go up and down and corner edit just a tiny bit. Also, to give it more of a cavy look, you should play with the lighting a little more, to make it stand out. It looks nice already, but it could look even nicer this way.

GAMEPLAY
There really wasn’t much gameplay in this level, which was kind of a shame. It was really short and I have to say, I expected it be a lot longer. Were you having trouble with the thermometer? If so, then deleting most of your corners will certainly help bring your thermometer down, which allows you to make the level longer. Do this and you should get a lot more satisfaction from the ones who played your level.

AUDIO
As I mentioned earlier, the music fit your level perfectly. Not much to improve on, here.

ORIGINALITY
Well, unfortunately, this level is not very original. I’ve seen many cave levels and many dwarf levels and this just doesn’t really cut it, I’m afraid. There’s not much you can do about this now, but you can try to implement original gameplay elements to make your level feel a little fresher and give it a little extra.

OVERALL
Overall, your level was a little unsatisfactory, because of its limited length. I suggest you delete a lot of the corners in the caves and add a little more gameplay. That way, your level will be even better. As for now, the first impressions pushed your level to a ‘Yay’. Well done.

If you have the time, I’d like you to play and give feedback on my level Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield:
LBP.me: http://lbp.me/v/2sznf3
Thread: http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/sho...-Mike-Oldfield

Thanks for all of the feedback so far, it has been very helpful in editing the level and in the effort to provide a better platforming experience. The level is planned out to be the first of three parts and eventually they will be linked together. Primarily my focus was on the story-aspect of things so I can see how I neglected the actual "gaming" aspect of the level. I appreciate all of the reviews so far and I'm working through the levels in my Queue as we speak. Thanks again!:)

Just recently played this level.

Nice level for your first. This part seemed to be more of an introduction/story level (as you stated in the previous post) as there was limited gameplay. Visuals are nice and seemed to be balanced. I think some of the edges on the cave design could have been smoothed out a bit, but that is just my opinion as I am no artist so I do not judge other peoples artistic talent.

At the point where you meet Ironbeard (I think I'm right about the name), The contraption that takes you across. Maybe you should have it automatically take you across when you step in it instead of pulling the switch again and trying to jump back in. I missed it a couple of times.

Overall, this was a good level and I enjoyed it. I am looking forward to playing the next parts.

Thank you for creating and sharing this level.

My F4F level is Neptunia. You can find it here:

http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/sho...60269-Neptunia

Or it is in my signature. Give it a try and let me know what you think, if you feel like it.

Thanks for the review! I was contemplating about having the second bucket take you across automatically (similar to how the first one did), but I didn't want to make it exactly the same as the first one. I will probably change it to make it easier since it really is just a story level with limited gameplay. I've been taking a short break to finish a level I began earlier but never got around to figuring out how I wanted to do everything, but the sequel levels will be on their way! Thanks again! Neptunia is Queued up and ready to go so I'll take a look at that very soon!

EDIT: I'm curious to see if anybody has found the "secret" room yet? There is one prize bubble to obtain: Ironbeard!

I think I did find it, but I have the community objects gathering option turned off, because I got way too much stuff from everyone.

It isn't very hard to find so I'm sure you found it, I also have that turned off because there are simply way too many community objects floating around.

Hey! I've played your level, and I think you did quite a good job for a first-timer. My first level was called Jump-O-Die Canyon and it consisted of nothing but 50 jumps and a canyon theme. I see that you have tried to create good scenery, gameplay, etc., so very good start. Here are some tips for future levels:

- When making a cave level, it is very good to keep the ground easy to walk on and not jagged and up-n-down. Its fine to have the walls and ceiling that way, but when a player comes into a level, you don't want to make it a struggle for them to walk.

- Lighting is very important in cave levels. I liked the idea of the red lights, but I would try to bring in another color of light, increase the light radius, and blend the colors a bit.

- I liked the idea of a fairy, I've worked on that concept some in create mode. The only thing I didn't like too much about it was that it was kind of big and in the way sometimes. I found myself jumping over it. Sometimes, it is better to use hologram material for something like that, because players can always walk through it, no matter where it is.

- I liked the puzzle with the mine cart. It was simple, but very creative. It would have been nice if you had put more puzzles like that throughout the level, making the level a little longer than it is at the moment.

Anyways, I hope these tips help. If you don't quite understand the tips I gave you, go play my "Shamgar's Hideout" level. Its a cave level and really makes use of lighting throughout it.

Nice level you made here.

The gameplay was a little easy i thought and the level too short.
You really need something to make this level stand out.

The look of the caves was done really well i hate people who make square caves so its good to see caves like yours. The path was easy to find due to the bublles so that was ok. I did have a little trouble at the minecart that you have to pull the trigger to. I jumped to the right of it and found that if i jumped over then into the cart the little blue light thing pulled it for me.
This gave me the idea to make your level different. What you need is the ability to control the little blue light thing that way you could build puzzles that require both you and the light to accomplish them.
Look up the creators tool kit it has a logic chip that if you place on the blue light thingy then you will be able to move it around when you hold in R2 well i think its R2.
I think that would help your level stand out.

It was fun to play, but a little short. I was expecting something to happen with the cyclops empire (I think is what they said) getting revenge. Overall, I liked how much detail you put into design. Now I understand why people tell me to dress up my level more. If you get a chance, please give it a try. The link is in my signature.

Hey, I played your level today... It was good and I enjoyed it. I did feel it was a level of two halves though, getting down to the mines was great and looked good, I can see you spent time on the look of the cave; there was some very nice touches, like the light that followed and I also noticed some pieces of jewelry in the walls. Once into the mine though I felt the gameplay fell by the way side and there was not really that much todo... Then the level ended...

I think its a great start though and the idea could definitely be built upon, I would very much like to visit the mines again... Once they have had a wee extension built ;)

Good job for a first level

Alright, I played this. It was a good platformer level. Too bad the only thing you find in the end is a dwarven face. It needs more dwarfs, lol! The level haves good visuals and the gameplay is ok. Its a shame it ends right after you meet some caged cyclops. Some little action would be nice.

The atmosphere and theme of this are great! I was a little disappointed with the length as I was enjoying the exploration and then I was at the end. The mine cart coal part was really good and I was looking forward to more of these types of elemental puzzles, and then I was in the last chambers. I think that there is massive potential to have some more exploration as it was quite linear with not much to do apart from looking at the great design.

As for the mine cart, maybe limit the switch to only raise when the mine cart is against the stopper. Maybe the stopper can be a spring loaded button so it will only work if it was against the stopper.

I'm really looking forward to more from you! The prison bit suggests that there is more coming!

Hey, sorry for the late feedback, overall i enjoyed the level, i like the use of the corner editor and how the layers have been used, and the lighting was nice too. But a few things bugged me, first thing was as soon as i entered i walked to the right and saw the default create background, maybe put a camera in there to hide it. I also jumped before i got into the lift and got stuck on the rock ledge there, if you put a layer of thin plasmafied hologram there (brightness 0 and no sound) it will stop that. I saw that you used the small lights to light the at places, noticing their presence is abit of a distraction, you should try invisible leds instead, might look better. Oh and noticed afew visible bolts.

Like other people have said i was expecting a climax, i was expecting the cyclops to break out the cage, seemed like the level was going that way.