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I have a friend whose father died when he was 2 years old. One day I was talking to him and said: "Yeah, someone told me a story about his dad, but I don't remember who exactly. It wasn't you then..." I said that accidentally and when I realized what I've just said, I started laughing like crazy and felt so ashamed at the same time :) My friend found it funny too though
When moving in corridors of the university I'm in and this ordinary girl is blocking my way. Being as bad with social situations as I am, I tried to get past her without saying anything. Of course, it didn't work, so I said to myself: "This must be how Balrog felt."
She heard it, got it and I am awesome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkSky
New members with no posts posting depressing jokes why helpQuote:
Originally Posted by Vicki89
There are two muffins in the oven- One says to the other
"Boy it's hot in here"
The other one replies
"Holy crap a Talking Muffin!"
Are you dating yetQuote:
Originally Posted by FreeAim
It's in consideration. Been over 20 years since I last was intimate with a woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by flamingemu
Ha! It's funny because you are 20 years old!Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeAim
tahts betuifulQuote:
Originally Posted by DarkSky
A whale and an ocean are talking.
Ocean: "So, how's the day going?"
Whale: "Pretty swimmingly."
This was my one of my grandpas favorite jokes.
A man sits down in an outhouse, getting ready to do his business when he is startled by something tickling his butt cheek. Jumping up and around, he peers inside to see an ancient looking miniature native American paddling around in a canoe, wearing traditional dress, right down to the feathered headdress that initially startled him so.
Flabbergasted, he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "What are you doing down there?"
"Paddling in my canoe, of course." The tiny elderly man responded.
Perplexed, the startled man asked, "How long have you been down there?"
The venerable paddler thoughtfully paused a moment, then said "I do not know for certain, but I've seen many moons."
leik dis if u crie evrytiemQuote:
Originally Posted by Ayneh
Girl sez 2 her bf "do u luv me 4eva?"Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeAim
Bf sez "no".
Girl dyes
Bf sez "omg no. i luv u 5eva"
leik dis if u crie evrytiem
Two whales walk into a bar, and the bartender asks what he can get them.Quote:
A whale and an ocean are talking.
Ocean: "So, how's the day going?"
Whale: "Pretty swimmingly."
The first whale says, "WOOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE WWONNNKKKKKWOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWOOOOO."
The second whale says, "For God's sake, Frank, you're already drunk."
Could a staff member please close this thread? These jokes are so terrible that I consider them to be a crime against humanity. Surely that must be against the forum rules?
The jokes in my advent calendar (yes I'm 27 and still have an advent calendar filled with chocolates) are better than these! For example, here's yesterday's shining example:
Why did the tightrope walker visit his bank?
To check his balance!
RRRRRRRROFL.
How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler.
Can you read? If so, check the subject of the thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ali_Star
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Originally Posted by FreeAim
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http://media3.giphy.com/media/mcMNAiDvn9tTO/giphy.gif
I just came up with this one:
Why are the Himalayas so mountainous?
Because they failed to load level.
Thanks, God! Could you please make a phone call to my parents and friends to tell them 18 years-old isn't too old to have one?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ali_Star
I sympathize. You really should consider yourself lucky, though. However bad they are, they're still jokes. Mine was:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ali_Star
What does Santa use to move around?
....A- Rollerskates.
....B- A skateboard.
....C- A sleigh.
I think I should consider investing in a better quality brand next year.
I remembered this one while playing GTA V in the Grand Seņora Desert:
So there were like these two grains of sand, walking through the desert at night.
And then the first one says to the other one: Oh crap, we're surrounded!
:3