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The Lowly Traitor (Pics)
Name: The Lowly Traitor
Psn: Shahchip
Location: Eastern coast of South America
It was published around a week ago but i thought it was too short so now it has been revamped and made around 3 times as big.
The story revolves around a city where the king has ordered to shut down all the gates. You are one his commanders and have been called to his castle.
Features
- 10-12 minutes of playtime
- Different environments
- I think i did a very good job on getting the right sound/music for the right time
- Visually very good
- Story driven
My goal with this level is 100 plays, 20 hearts, and a 4 star rating. So far its 4 plays and 4 star.
I am open to constructive criticism.
Open to any and all F4F
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Playing through now:
Hmm, okay... Starting point is a bit devoid of features... also, there is a big piston coming out of that ninja's head, but it doesn't seem to serve any purpose. would look better without it.
Might also want to hide the mouth on the peasant woman.
Heh, big "zelda" feeling with all the townspeople giving you "Seemingly" useless advice...
You should add someone advicing you to "not go south without a candle!"
Castle steps could be sculpted better...
Erm... Big useless block of cardboard is preventing me from going further... Do I need to push this?
*ugh*... Great, I tried to push it through, half way there however the gate came down and crushed me... Back at the gong now... Oh... wait, there's the elevator... Doh...
Might want to use a lever or something to operate it, I totally missed it.
It also takes forever to go up and down and barely stops at the first floor... Even a better reason to use a lever.
Going up... Hmm, not much decoration... Long hallway... Oh, hi king! Ugh, trudging all the way up here and now I got to go return to the elevator?
Wait for the elveator... Getting on board... waiting waiting... Whoa, Nearly got crushed once I reached top floor!
Make the lift stop a little further from the ceiling...
Okay, so what does that king want to tell me he couldn't have shared in his **** bedroom? Lets see? Bad people you say?
Looking over the ledge i cant see nothing...
Oops... Fell down... And landed on the roof... Well, I ended up back where the gate killed me, but at least now the box is gone.
Race tiem!
A whole lot of nothing, then some more featureless grass. Okay, this is just one long trek without any obstacles... Only the song has changed, so I know there's something up ahead.
Ooh, an army? nice. wat? noooes!
Ok, I'm guessing that spy was supposed to fly off after the bomb went off, since he's got that piston in his head, but he seems to be glued to the floor...
More running, not many obstacles yet... Counter still ticking away...
Ouch! Something bit me!
Oh, enemies, cool... Finally some action.
*POW* *BLAM* *BURN*
Guys with swords!... Just running past them seems to kill them.
Ok, end of the race, finally.
Hmm... Too quiet. Uh oh! I've been trapped! I like how the cage is thruster driven.
Okay, change of pace... Odd puzzle. I just press all the buttons and suddenly the door opens. I'm guessing you had something else in mind?
I kill... uh... whatever that thing was, and continue. Return the key upstairs, take the trampoline up.
Guess I'm inside the evil dudes lair now.
Medieval Skull rave!
Okays, I gets the key and open the door. Then I'm crushed by another elevator... *Sigh* I then get upstairs and find a multiple path scene? Three ways, only one leads outside...
I guess its guessing time.
I'll take the middle one.
Um.
Guess that was wrong... I'm stuck somewhere and need to commit suicide.
Ok, i'll take the closest one. Oh come on! Same story. Re-kill.
Okay, that worked... seriously though, that part was useless. Back at the beginning now I guess... and oh noes!!1! City is in flames! Its a big bad snake!
Wait, I seem to recall someone saying something about snakes and their vulnerable itty bits! But I dont need to recall that as I can easily see his weak spots from here. I stroll on over and push his *Kill Me* button.
I'm guessing you blew up small explosives in the city, right? well, seems one of them blew up the vulnerable part of the stairs and I'm now able to get a glimpse of some out of bounds areas. Not only that, but a massive piece of stone seems to have gotten loose and fell near the drawbridge, blocking my path into the castle...
Okay... So I can't actually finish the level.
Okay... well.
I'm not gonna be able to award you any massive points for this one brother... A lot needs to be fixed if one is supposed to be able to enjoy it. In the future, try playing the level through yourself before publishing.
1/5
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hmm a bit negative and a downer.. but still helpful...
1) Pistons: You probably noticed that the ninja guy isnt there the second time you come down except the spy.. he wont go up no matter what i do.
2) Make elevator more obvious.. got it though i thought that guy who said to use the elevator might be enough
3) More decoration - got it
4) Castle steps werent really supposed to be steps but more of a castle on a hill sort of thing
5) You gotta wait a few seconds on the ledge.
6) Nope spy was supposed to stay intact. Should he blow up?
7) Sorry about the stupid 3 path thing.. theres a stupid bug and i cant kill anyone no matter what i do
8) Sorry about the boss ahaha im terrible with enemies
9) You arent actually supposed to go in the castle.. The ninja guy mentions a secret exit under the castle.. which leads to the end
Thanks a lot for the tips, will fix most if not all
Anything for F4F from you?
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Nah, cheers.
I'm sorry for being a bit too harsh. Its certainly not a bad level. If it had been, I wouldn't have commented on it. It's got promise. I look forward to seeing more from you.
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Alright ive fixed almost everything you said, could you possibly give it another go?
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Hi, here comes the feedback i promised!
Sadly i have to agree to most of the issues morrinn mentions :(. But in my opinion he exaggerates the problems a bit. Sure the level has its issues butt its still better than most and it has potential.
Pros:
The beginning is good, even though it uses a lot of premade things and a little weird decorations.
The part when you get caught in the chest was also fun.
I couldn't really think of so many clear pros but I'd like to say that the overall experience was ok, it's just that you need to do minor improvements on a lot of places.
Some more overall/major improvements you could do:
The biggest issue in the level is that theres almost NO challenge, you just run all the way to the guy who randomly shots fire, die a couple of times to get past him and then just run all the way through all the soldiers till you get to the jail. You should improve the soldiers so that you don't just need run through them to kill them and shorten the all the places where you just need to run, like the part from the castle up in the hills.
You also need to add more danger and obstacles and maybe even improve those you already have in the jail. Also experiment a little with the boss, I'm sure you can come up with a more spectacular bossfight!
Last but not least is the appearance of the level which especially outside the jail and town is pretty boring. Add some better materials in the castle, make it so that the hills don't just look like thin strips of cloth and things like that.
I advice you to do some playtesting and you will find smaller problems.
I can see that you have put some time into the level which is good, just keep the good work up and you will be able to improve the level a lot. :) Im looking forward to your next creation to see what you have learned from this one!
3 stars.
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Thanks for the feedback
btw did you play the old version or the new? the new one has slightly different hills
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Probably the old one, played it three days ago..
