The Final Moment

[ConverseFox]

You are at home watching television and you wife is bringing you dinner, while the news is on. They are talking about a young boy who just got shot in a lung. He is your son.

You run to your car and start racing to the hospital, when your car breaks down. On foot, you run to the nearest gas station and "barrow" a milk truck. Racing toward the hospital, your load falls out and the gas peddle gets stuck(sounds like a Toyota! see what I did). You wreak into a ditch and start on foot through the forest. You find an atv and race along the trail to the hospital. You run to the elevator and make it to your son, right before he dies.

This is my entry for The Vehicle Triathlon Competition for a "Wheely Good" Sticker contest.


What do you think about it?

[SketchNZ]

kinda Depressing ending dont you think? haha Toyotas

[Xario]

You're sure, such a serious topic makes for an interesting level theme? Because if the rest of your design doesn't reflect the "story" you end up with kitsch and possibly some disapointed players. Ask yourself how the level would work, if you reach in time to donate stem cells (whatever) and he just falls asleep but is saved? I wouldn't take it to lightly.

[VelcroJonze]

Cory that is awful!!

[Voltergeist]

Ugh. I hate noobs who tell people their stories are too depressing. LBP is an ultimate device for telling stories, so if people want to take you to some dark places, just accept it. I know whenever I get around to starting my horror level Subject #67, it's going to have a very dark story especially at the end. Boy, if one person tells me it's too dark for LBP, I'm gonna have to borrow some of Taffey's soggy apricots...

Anyways, go for it Cory!

[Xario]

@BBB: But you agree, that it's a serious decision? Cause I'd hate scrubs, who throw out some random level, just to kill the avatars child in the end, not expecting many people reacting negativly to it. And you also do know, that LBP is mostly played by "noobs" (which could be one way of putting it).

[Voltergeist]

Yeah, random death endings do suck if the level doesn't build up to it. But if you set out to tell a dark story from exposition, then you should give it a dark ending.

[ConverseFox]

What if I change the part when the boy dies and make say: Will the boy die? find out if he does in the next level.
Or something like that.

[Xario]

[...] LBP is an ultimate device for telling stories [...]

That's gonna be a bit offtopic now, but this statement is wrong in oh so many ways.

• It can't be ultimate, since LPB2 is already anounced and will presumably be better in every way.
• Actually, it's a very good and innovative device for creating 2.5D-jump'n'run levels. You must deal with the interactivity through one's sackperson. This point's basis will not change with LBP2.
• Wether or not the target audience at least includes children, the game definitly appeals to one's "inner child", I generally wouldn't expect players to be too willing to deal with difficult issues story-wise, when I see dozens of "Super-Explosion-Bombing-Rockets-Survival-Challenge" among the top hearted and most played levels.
• If you "just want to tell a story", you won't reach by far as many people as you could with another medium, say a book, movie, website. Your gonna-be-customers need at least a PS3, the game itself, a fast internet connection and their time, interest and willingness to playtest your work. They also need to be made known of it's existence afore. Is it more or less than one third of the world population, who never ever used a phone? Blind people also will hardly be able to enjoy your work. Not to mention it's longevity - who knows if our presenttime levels are still accessible in ... 10 years, 20 years, 80 years?!
  

Sorry if that sounds smart-assy (is that a word?), the second point is actually the most important. And if you want positive credits, ignoring the fact (yes, i'd say fact) that the average LBP-player goes more for fun than seriousness, won't help on that.

Further Off-topic: I've been thinking about using a LBP level for edutainment, like explaning aspects of current (wanna-be-)knowlegde about quantum-theory. I failed to come up with any really working and cool and good ideas yet....

[Xario]

What if I change the part when the boy dies and make say: Will the boy die? find out if he does in the next level.
Or something like that.

Eh...maybe? As I said with other words: Imagine "my big fat greek wedding" or any blockbuster hollywood comedy, where only the last scene was changed to "an amokläufer appears and kills everyone". Can you imagine one person, leaving the theatre, thinking: "That was a nice movie"? If your level is sunny and shiny and is actually just a utility to show your vehicles, I would just go for visiting, you talk and he falls asleep (of sedation or something). If you make it a race with timelimit, you could go for a savemission (like stemcell or organ donation or something) - if you miss the race, he dies- that would make an interesting level for me.

I would only use "the survival" as a cliffhanger if you have built up some tension during the level - otherwise it's too cheap and noone is going to care. But not to much tension, cause that will leave players disapointed as well. We are very used to cliffhangers and they easily get perceived as cheap.

If your level design revolves around his death (possibly a "dark" theme as BBB phrased) I would def. go through with his death. The sequel could include his wife, dying the same way :-\

[ConverseFox]

Yes! He will die, and in the sequel (not saying there will be one) The wife gets trapped in the house because it is burned down and you need to save her.

[amazingflyingpoo]

Wow, it looks like you're getting some negative feedback on this. While I will admit that it is very depressing, I LOVE the fact that you are integrating a very emotional story into the framework for the competition.

If you decide to go through with the plot, then be prepared for some negative backlash from the depressing story, but at the same time, if you pull it off well then it could pay off. Either way, I am very excited that you are thinking outside the box by coming up with a story of the competition when no story is required

[Spark151]

@Amazingflyingpoo: Agreed!

[SketchNZ]

I like the story its depessing but still good (i was hoping that the kid on AFPoos Now and then would die because you were too late) lol jk. but i do thing you should change one thing from shot in the lung to Shot in the chest.

[Alismuffin]

hey i dont see anything wrong with the story
lbp is meant to be a creative game. Theres no rule stating that the story must end happily. New ideas, such as this, generally do very well as originality and quirky ideas gives extra POW to things.
u could set a whole trend of levels, games, movies, books that dont end happily. Call the genre "Dissapointer" as the end wont end happily