Corrupt Wishes

[Protoraptor]

Granted, they're so green your brain explodes.

I wish for the Oracle Turret.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, it tricks you and shoots you.

I wish for creativity.

[Protoraptor]

Granted, I wish for that too. I knock you out and steal your brain.

I wish I had enough space in my core for two brains.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, you don't have enough room for your heart.

I wish for a cuddly pillow on which to sleep.

[MSTER232]

You wish for a cuddly pillow has been granted, but I think there has been an error in manufacturing it at the factory because it has been stuffed using rocks instead of cotton.

[Ryan86me]

I wish Wheatley's two brains weren't moronic.

[MSTER232]

Granted, but I forgot to make a wish which messed this game up.

I wish Wheatley could permanently have the MORONs disease.

[Protoraptor]

Granted, but NOW WHO'S A MORON?! COULD! A! MORON! PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT?!

I wish I had more test subjects.

[MSTER232]

Granted, but I think you are going to have to share over half of them with GLaDOS, I'm afraid.

[Protoraptor]

Granted, but you wished for nothing so I'll have to invent a wish for you.

I wish for the Sun to implode.

I wish my post made more sense.

[MSTER232]

Granted, but you will have to attend a grammar and literature class.... with... humans.

I wish Wheatley had the guts to face humans .

[Protoraptor]

Granted, now I have guts. They all fall out.

I wish they hadn't fallen out.

[Ryan86me]

Granted, but the time reversal process involved keeps you from getting them in the first place.

I wish homework wasn't so boring

[Protoraptor]

Granted, I wish that too. The underlying dual need for a wish results in the universe collapsing in on itself.

I wish I got that job in Turret Manufacturing.

[Ryan86me]

You did, but you got fired. Back to dealing with those smelly... I mean lovely humans.

I wish Wheatley wasn't such a moron.

[Protoraptor]

Granted. Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned. So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron. Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?

I wish I wasn't a moron.

[Apple2012]

Granted, but people will call you worse.

I wish a lot of people will like me.

[Ryan86me]

Granted, but your mother doesn't.

I wish people bothered to listen to my band's music /shameless and pitiful self-promotion

[MSTER232]

Granted, but I will have to check out your videos a little bit later.

I wish I knew what Wheatley has been up to recently .

[Protoraptor]

Granted, I've been in space.

I wish I could get out of space.