Corrupt Wishes

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but now you can get too fat from nothing.



I wish I owned a thermostat.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but you lose it after 1 hour.

I wish I could control other people.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but it's not your brain that controls them, so you're responsible for their random actions.

I wish I didn't have to do homework ever.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but you don't know how to study anymore.

I wish I could learn something and remember it forever.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but that "something" is the lyrics to Call Me Maybe.

I wish Jason Derulo weren't so bad at making songs.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but he isn't making songs anymore when he could make good songs.

I wish L1N3R1D3R wouldn't give horrible corruptions to wishes.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but now I give such good corruptions that you devote your entire life to finding out the secret.

I wish I would get my sled back.

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but as soon as you sit down upon it, it breaks.



I wish I could sue you.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted. but you win a penny.

I wish I had enough time to animate, play games, go on forums, watch videos, make videos, and do homework.

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but instead of having 8 hours of sleep. You now have to have 72 hours of required sleep.



I wish this wish becomes corrupt.

[Outlaw-Jack•]

Granted. You are now a banana.

I wish typing out stories was as easy as it sounds.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but now writing anything is much harder.

I wish I knew how to integrate any function.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but you don't know anything else. Literally anything.

I wish I had more strength and willpower for everyday tasks.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but "everyday tasks" may or may not include checking forums.

I wish more Smash 4 tournaments would allow custom moves.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but the moves are not worth performing for being too weak/slow.

I wish for money money money money money money money money...

[Outlaw-Jack•]

Granted. Enjoy listening to one of ABBA's greatest hits for the rest of eternity. Also Dancing Queen.

I wish people would actually go speed limit around here.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but the government decided that there are no speed limits around there anymore.

I wish I was as skilled as him.

[Sir monacle]

Granted, but you're not as skilled as me.



I wish I had a banana, even though it might be cannibalism, it shall be worth it.

[TenebrisNemo]

Granted, but you and your banana have been eaten by a monkey.

I wish I could jump 10 times higher than normally and survive the fall.

[L1N3R1D3R•]

Granted, but you can only survive falls from that high.

I wish Barry were editing Game Grumps again.